Good Men Picks Record: Damn you, Ben. We’re down to 2-4 after the Steelers came from behind and stole one from the Ravens.
New England Patriots
Danny Woodhead is awesome. You really can’t root against a 5′9″ white running back, especially one that went undrafted out of Chadron State. (Where? Exactly.) After the Jets dropped him earlier this season, Woodhead caught on with New York’s archrival, helping them nab the joint-best record in the league.
Unfortunately, New England’s head coach is this guy named Bill Belichick. He never smiles, dresses like a bum, and spies on other teams. Sorry, Bill, but we never forget. His team plays dirty. They draft guys who try to gouge out the eyeballs of their opponents. Their quarterback is the spokesperson for Uggs. It’s like they go out of their way to be hated by everyone outside of New England.
Oh, and their fans are insufferable. But you probably figured that.
Side note: As a Jets fan, I harbor an extra degree of hatred (read: jealousy) for the Patriots. But in the interest of (somewhat) objective reporting, I’ll admit they’ve got good qualities.
Lovie Smith is one of the nicest guys in the NFL. His merits as a head coach are still up for debate, but he’s the definition of a good man. He donates tickets for each Bears game to 10 children suffering from diabetes. He and his wife also run a charity that donates funds toward the college tuition of disadvantaged children. We’re not afraid to say it. We love Lovie.
Then there’s the awesome cult history of the Bears. First off, they play in Soldier Field. Soldier Field. One of the franchise’s greatest players is named Dick Butkus—arguably the greatest name in football. And then there’s Ditka, the greatest coach/analyst/actor/mocked SNL persona/groom to Ricky Williams ever. It’s not even up for debate.
No one likes Jay Cutler. South Park did a skit about how bad he was. He tends to throw a lot of dumb interceptions and piss his fans off. His body language is terrible, inspiring no confidence in his teammates. He’s dating a girl from that MTV show Laguna Beach, wears Ed Hardy shirts, and plays beer pong. Let’s just say, I’m glad I’ve never had to root for him.
Also, I’m still not sure Chicago fans can handle winning anything. After they won a game last month, one drunken fan tried to scale the neck of giant brontosaurus right outside of Soldier Field. This makes Chargers and Raiders fans look good. (It’s pretty damn hard to make Raiders fans look good.)
But honestly, unless a mass murderer or a child molester is coaching the other team, Good Men Picks will never side with Bill Belichick. Even then, we’d have to think about it. He’s a cheater and a dick. Great coach? Sure, but not a guy we’d ever grab a beer with. So, this week we’re siding with the Bears. And you should too—if you want to be able to sleep at night.