In September 1995, comedian Pat Cooper made an infamous appearance on Howard Stern’s radio show. It was a typical situation where Stern goaded a celebrity into an argument, and the result was pure entertainment from the “golden age” of shock jocks. I clearly remember the moment during their on-air fight when Stern challenged Cooper by asking “What are you a genius of?” Cooper responded, “I am a genius of myself.”
On a surface level, it’s an absurdly comedic statement. But believe it or not, at the time there was serious debate—well, at least among myself and my friends—as to what Cooper meant by that phrase. Some thought he was just spouting nonsense, while others assumed he was being smug. But my favorite theory is that Cooper believes in knowing himself, and his abilities, very well.
Know Thyself
Wisdom from a Howard Stern broadcast that’s 26 years old? Just stick with me here; I’m a big believer in finding wisdom in unlikely places. Cooper made me think of the saying “know thyself.” You may have seen this phrase (also known as an aphorism) used by the Greek philosopher Plato, who is perhaps slightly more famous than Pat Cooper. Plato’s gist is that you have to understand yourself before you can understand anyone else.
We all want to be the master of our own fate, right? We often become frustrated when the world around us seems to thwart our plans. But if we focus on what we can control—the inner “world” of our motivations, fears, hopes, goals, and dreams—we can learn to react calmly to external forces we can’t control (especially other people).
So, inner-mastery should be our first priority. But what can we master within ourselves? Primarily, it’s important to choose how you will react to any circumstances life brings your way. We often cannot change the situations in which we find ourselves, but we can change our reactions to those situations. It takes mindfulness and practice, but this important behavior change is definitely achievable.
Know Thy Neighbor
It’s a beautiful paradox that self-knowledge ultimately leads to other knowledge. The better you know your own human condition, the more tolerance you’ll have for the seemingly random actions of others. That’s the foundation for outer-mastery. It will also help you develop the emotional resilience to rebound when things don’t go your way. Remember that you’re also on a path of struggle and growth that can make you appear just as random and obstructive from the perspective of others.
It helps to remember the saying “be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” This is a good mantra to have handy when you find yourself frustrated by the words and actions of others. Give others the benefit of the doubt. Most of the time, the “slights” people perpetrate against you are not malicious, but rather the unintentional result of their preoccupation with the troubling complexities of their own lives.
The Bottom Line
Be the genius of yourself, and don’t let anyone take that confidence away from you. A deeper understanding of others is a great side-effect.
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