Are you a man? Do you know what #MeToo is all about? If so, you may feel you are a good man because of that. If you posted on Facebook about your awareness of what #MeToo means, you get extra credit. Who knows, your post may encourage others to post or even inspire someone to write an article for The Good Men Project.
Social movements these days are more and more about getting people to have something new to check on their smartphone, some new way to feel that they are in the know. Protesting in the streets is little compared with protesting in social media. Unless of course, you are getting money from George Soros.
George Soros just donated $18 billion to his Open Society Foundation. This is a great way for him to manage his taxes. This is a great way for him to fund conflict between this group and that one. You know, Blacks against Whites, men against women, Liberals against Conservatives. He claims he wants social justice. This is a lie. He wants conflict. As a hedge fund billionaire, he benefits from knowing ahead of time where conflict is going to break out next. As a powerful man, he gets off on having and exercising power.
My contributions to The Good Men Project include a number of articles on sexual assault. Aren’t I special. I have written about Pussy Hats, the use of the West Point Code of Conduct to prosecute sex crimes and participating in a Slut Walk. I have no way of knowing if any of my writing did any good, did any bad, did any indifferent.
I am of the opinion that how we raise boys is the key to how we protect the human sex drive from being weaponized.
If I tell a man that I have been pinned to the ground as a boy by another boy until giving a sign of submission, the most common reply would be me too, so what? Men experiencing physical violence is almost universal. I dare say more common than with women. Many men consider sexual assault to be a much lesser social transgression than other means of asserting dominance.
Sexual aggression is considered lessor than murder. It may cause tissue damage and post-traumatic stress, but is less likely to than an ordinary male on male fist fight.
Men beating up other men for the hell of it seems to make less sense than sexual assault. At least with sexual assault, there is usually some sexual gratification for the perpetrator that goes with this form of the expression of dominance. So goes this sad, ignorant thinking.
Increasingly forms of sexual gratification involving consensual violence are increasing in popularity. Many report liking the feeling of being at the mercy of their partner in a sexual situation and trusting that the bondage, spanking or tissue damage will stop as requested.Boys and men learning how to fuse their sex drive with their capacity for intimate, compassionate loving is a complex business.
Boys and men learning how to fuse their sex drive with their capacity for intimate, compassionate loving is a complex business.
I used to lecture men who were struggling with substance abuse, as to how many boys and men ingest mood-altering chemicals prior to sexual contact. There are many reasons for this, but the main one is an inability to be nothing but loving while engaging in sex.
I used to use ‘free radicals’ as a metaphor for what can happen when men don’t limit their sexual expression to lovemaking. Salt is made up of the fusing of sodium atoms with chlorine atoms. Salt is good. Unfused sodium is a metal that when combined with water explodes. Choline is a gas that when inhaled can kill. A male sexual response that is not fused with compassionate loving can become a very toxic thing.
If you are a man and you have read this far, my main point is that if you have a chance to get sexual gratification out of something other than self-love and compassionate love for another don’t do it. Don’t do it, because the one most likely to get hurt from this is you.
Be on guard for any desire to have an increased sense of control by controlling another’s sexual response. This can start out being great but is highly prone to lead to disaster or if not disaster, a highly mechanistic sense of sexual gratification. You don’t really want that.
Those of us who have woke up. have woke up to an awareness of Evil in the world like we had never imagined before, are also more aware as to how precious and sacred the expression of human sexuality can be.
Ask a man if he ever had a sexual experience where he felt that, even for a moment, he had transcended all of the crap that men are taught about their sexuality, too many will reply, “I don’t know what you mean?”
I once gave a talk at a men’s gathering on sacred sexuality. The audience of mostly college educated liberal man seemed mostly appreciative of what I had to say. Another man, who was the only man paid to be there, was there to do the cooking. He had a question. “You mean to tell me that when I am f**king some whore that there is something wrong with me?”
I replied that I felt no need to judge him and believed each man needed to determine for themselves which paths their sexual expression took them.
He just stared ahead for a moment then said, “ Are you talking about things like me jerking off into a desert canyon and feeling apart of everything around me?”
“Yes,” I said. “I am talking about things like that.”
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