*This blog post is based on my opinion thoughts and thinking.
I’ve never been afraid to talk about hard things.
I’ll take on any challenge, whether it’s trying to boil the art of good writing down to a few rules or trying to get rid of writer’s block for good.
Today, I’ll talk about something people always ask me: why they don’t have any friends.
One of the first things I think about these people is that they might not be very friendly. Fair enough.
It is possible to have no friends because you are shy or have a natural tendency to be alone.
But I’m talking about the person who thinks that everyone else has friends but them and that they’re the only ones who are alone.
The person who wants to fit in with the group so badly but can’t seem to do it on their own.
Well, I’ve got good news! In my opinion, there are very real reasons why you might not have any friends.
While it might not be easy to hear some of these, at least you’ll know where you stand!
1. Maybe You’re needy:
To be a real friend, we have to give as much as we get.
It’s just the way friendships work. If we go around expecting others to do everything for us but never do anything in return, that’s a great way to end up feeling alone.
If your idea of friendship is constantly asking someone else to go out whenever you want without offering anything in return, that’s going to cause problems.
I’ve also noticed that very needy people will often try to make friends with people they haven’t seen in a while, just to feel needed.
This is a terrible thing to do to a friend because it just makes them feel trapped, and trapped people tend to go out of their way to avoid the situation.
2. Maybe You’re not an interesting person
I’ve never been one to care about money or flashy things, but I can tell you that the most interesting people I know aren’t always rich and famous.
They’re often just very interesting in the sense that they like to talk about things that other people don’t.
For example, I love talking about writing.
There are a lot of people who don’t think it’s all that interesting, but for me, it’s something I can get excited about for hours on end.
I don’t just like talking about it; I like hearing other people talk about it, too. It makes me feel connected to them.
If you’re not interested in anything (especially writing), why would anyone else be interested in being your friend?
3. Maybe You’re mean to your friends:
There’s a fine line between joking and being mean to a friend. I tend to joke around all the time with my friends, but I don’t go out of my way to hurt them.
For example, if they call me something bad at dinner, I’ll just laugh it off and push it into their minds that they’re silly.
This is the best way to handle it. At the same time, there are times when I’m not in the mood to joke around, and I’ll just tell them as much. They’ll do the same for me, and we won’t talk for a day or two.
But when people are constantly going out of their way to hurt their friends, or a friend is always coming across as mean, it’s not much of a friendship. It’s pretty scary and leads to the drama I don’t care to get into.
4. You don’t have a hobby
One of the worst things you can do is have no hobbies. I’m not saying that you need to have a personal hobby, but you should at least be engaged in something.
If you’re just sitting around being useless, that’s not very fun or exciting.
Engaging in something, makes people feel like they’re connecting with you.
It also makes you seem like you’re interested in something more than sitting around and watching TV all day. This can make for a great friend!
5 . Maybe You’re too afraid to ask for help
This one is simple: don’t be afraid to ask for help.
Sometimes we feel like everything is so hard, but in reality, it’s just very confusing.
Sure, it’s easy to think you’re doing everything perfectly, but maybe it’s time for a little help.
If you don’t ask for help, you won’t get it.
However, if you do ask for help and get it, not only will you feel more comfortable doing things on your own (a good thing), but your friends will be there to support you.
The best thing about asking friends is that they are there for each other as well.
Even if you ask for help and they don’t have the answer, they’ll try to get it for you. It’s a great feeling when you’re in need, but it’s also nice to give back when someone else is in need.
6. Maybe You’re not honest with your emotions:
It only takes a few times, continually being nice to friends and pretending everything is okay until they just eventually stop bothering.
If you have something going on in your life that you can’t handle, or if you have someone in your life causing problems, you need to tell them.
Don’t let it boil inside of you until things get so bad that even the people closest to you can’t help you.
The best thing about being a friend is that you can count on them to be there for you, especially in times of need. If you’re just sitting around being useless, that’s not very fun or exciting.
Engaging in something, makes people feel like they’re connecting with you.
It also makes you seem like you’re interested in something more than sitting
Well, this is a blog post based on opinion, not a piece of professional advice.
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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.
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You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism | Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box | Why I Don’t Want to Talk About Race | What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
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