Taking risks, daring to be greater than you are, falling flat on your face and picking yourself up again – these are the traits of the empowered man. It’s a painful, embarrassing, scary, and usually rewarding experience. Although the rewards do not always come in the manner expected.
When we stretch ourselves and go beyond those comfortable walls that we’ve spent a lifetime building up, we may find that the reception we get is less than enthusiastic – i have this experience often when I start to flirt. As a man who flirts with men, it can be very uncomfortable for me to push myself and put my interest in someone out there. I run the risk of rejection, as we all do, but I also fear the reaction will be more than a simple rejection. There’s the concern in the back of my mind that says, what if he gets offended? What if he gets violent?
Now the truth of the matter is that, the only time I’ve had someone be violent with me, as an adult at least, was the one time I picked up the wrong guy. So one time out of a solid 30 years of hitting on men. But that fear is still there. The fear that was implanted by some high school boys, decades ago.
You’d think that after 30 years I’d be over it, and to some degree I am. I follow one of my main tormentors on Facebook and see his exotic gay lifestyle and laugh at the irony that this man who so ridiculed me for being gay in high school is such a big old flaming queer now.
That fear is still there. The fear that was implanted by some high school boys, decades ago.
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But here’s the lesson, every time that I try to flirt, and put myself out there, I put that fear just a little bit further away from my consciousness. I make incremental progress on moving past that fear each time I confront it.
Same goes for everything else that I push myself to do. Every time I risk picking up the phone to make one more sales call, or one more effort at a new business, I’m making progress on moving past boundaries.
This week has been about finding new ghostwriting clients for my company, AmericanGhostMedia.com. I need people who want their stories told, published and marketed, who don’t know how to do that for themselves. I provide a full service opportunity for people to share their stories, so when they are writing their books, they can fall down, and I’ll be there to pick them up.
The more risks we take, the more empowered we become. How much do you want to change your life?
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