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How many of us have been through locker room pep talks where the coach was screaming at us things like “You’re the biggest baddest bunch of bruisers to ever hit this field now get out there and kick some butt!!!!.” How about when we talk to ourself in the mirror before screwing up the courage to ask that hottie at the coffee shop out for dinner? “ You can do this. You’re good looking enough. They laugh at your jokes. We’re doing it!”
Those are really nothing more than crisis based affirmations that we are relying upon to get us through the next 1 – 45 minutes. We do them because they work. It’s a time tested trick that men have been using for millennia to get through a rough patch.
Shakespeare’s Henry V gives his men one of the best motivational speeches of all time in his Eve of St. Crispin’s day speech before the battle of Agincourt. Facing enormous odds, Henry tells his men they are the “happy few” who will fight today, that those who are not there are “accursed.” That’s nothing more than an affirmation that English warriors are blessed that day.
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Recognizing that affirmations are in fact actually very masculine is the first step in being able to use them to create the life you want. Once we get past the bias that these are some hocus pocus mumbo jumbo that only crystal gazers and hippies use we can now start to put them to work in our life.
The locker room pep talk is short and directed to win the game. I think you should do the same thing with your affirmations.
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The second step is crafting the language of an affirmation in such a way that it resonates with our belief system so that we can put some emotional power behind the words we’re going to be using. I’m not a very ethereal person. I prefer concrete examples and goals to the the ‘wishful thinking’ that some personal development coaches use.
When I’m crafting phrases or statements to change my thinking and my actions, I want to use definite language like “Dear Universe, please bring me the right and perfect mate.” Now I know some people are going to say that the “right and perfect” language sounds like that airy fairy “blessed” and “bliss” granola tree hugger phrasing, but for me that “right and perfect” mate is probably not going to be all “peace love and granola.” My mate is going to be a foodie, with a wicked sense of humor and a passion for their work who is not afraid to raise their voice and argue with me.
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Which means that the second step is having a clear picture of what you want to accomplish and what you are seeking. The locker room pep talk is short and directed to win the game. I think you should do the same thing with your affirmations. Use the formula of either asking for what you want, or declaring what you want to be.
The formula for asking is basic, “{power to which I am appealing} create the path for {what i’m seeking} to find me on your schedule of the right and perfect time.” Which becomes “Dear Universe, please bring me the right and perfect mate at the right time.”
The formula for declaring is even easier: “{power to which I am appealing} help me be {what am I trying to do / become / create}” That looks like “Dear Universe, today I will be more patient with the people I come across.” or “Hey God, today I am a sexy and attractive man who is more flirtatious.”
Try it out. What I suggest is that you write out one affirmation on the back of a business card and carry it around. If you read it to yourself in the morning, at the lunch break and at night I guarantee you’ll have a better day. Do it for a week and let me know how it has changed you. I bet if you follow this three step process in a week, you’ll have a new attitude.
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Why do you have to appeal to a ‘higher authority”? Why don’t you tell yourself to achieve what you want? Otherwise it’s just wishes.