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Let’s open the can of dirty worms and not waste any time getting to the crux of the title. The question that is running your life is ruining your life. What is in it for me???
NOTHING. THERE ISN’T ANYTHING IN IT FOR YOU.
So why does the title pose the question as a solution tool for a higher quality of life?
The truth bomb is about to hit right now. Get ready for it…
Most people cloak the question in the back of the mind, heart, and actions. It takes courage to illustrate the question and embrace the realness of what it actually means. “What’s in it for me” is powerful and can rock your world or throw a rock against your head in the process. The question actually means you have some silly self-perception you have something of great value to offer and you’d like to counterbalance it something you feel you deserve. So, what ends up happening is that in our life experiences, we halt action as soon as the value perception isn’t met.
Here comes another truth bomb. Get ready for it…
WRONG. NO ONE PERSON HAS ANYTHING OF ANY VALUE TO OFFER IF THEY EXPECT ANYTHING IN RETURN OR NEED MORE TO MAKE ANY INTERACTION, RELATIONSHIP, OPPORTUNITY, OR LIFE EXPERIENCE WORTHWHILE.
Let’s flip the conversation – Do you want to make the question work for you in a way that you can express it without selfishness and a myopic vantage point?
Another truth bomb is about to hit. Get ready for it…
You already answered the question for yourself. The answers might vary, but I am positive it went something like this:
- If I don’t get what I want, I keep it moving. Because there should be something in it for me.
- My life is awesome. I’m handsome, my sex-life rocks, I have money, cars, a house, and whatever I choose for dinner. I am the real deal. There has to be something in it for me. I am not ashamed of that.
- I sleep just fine. I don’t need any more help being selfish about my needs.
- I bench 180 and do yoga; of-course I want it all.
- I never ask that question. It doesn’t apply. I am altruistic in all of my life experiences.
- Life is more complicated than this question. This doesn’t apply to me.
- I want it all. I am going to give it all. No negotiation.
The one and only reason to keep reading is:
Life isn’t stationary. The What’s in It for me” mentality will keep shifting and forever change the direction of your life. Of course, your choices influence the question. There will be times you feel as if less is more, or more is not enough. Either way, I can almost guarantee that there is at least a few areas of your life where you are asking the question. More importantly, I can almost predict that there is an area of your life where this question is lurking behind an important decision you haven’t made yet. You are waiting to see what’s in it for you? Like this article. What’s in it for you if you keep reading? The way to get the answer before you even have to ask what’s in it for you.
Five Ways to Embrace the Question by Answering it For Yourself – A non-negotiable journey to live and fuel your inner musings. Let’s begin.
1. Begin each day with a knowledge of what the day holds.
2. Limit speaking words that resemble disappointment or loss. How many times do you say to yourself I am not getting what I want and I am giving my all. I just can’t make it work. This isn’t what I had in mind. I might not quite this or that. Words, phrases, and sentences that you might need to be removed from your daily vocabulary.
I am sorry. Replace with – I DESIRE TO IMPROVE.
I should have known. Replace with – I DESIRE TO BE MORE INTUITIVE.
I never should have trusted ___. Replace with – TRUST BEGINS WITH ME.
I don’t have enough____. Replace with – I DESIRE ____.
I shouldn’t have to put up ____. Replace with I CHOOSE_____.
I am tired of____. Replace with – I NEED TO RESET MY ENERGY.
I hate___. Replace with – THIS ISN’T SERVING ME WELL.
Sh**. F***. D***. All these may adequately describe your motion, emotion, function, or malfunction. But, do yourself a favor and challenge them with other words like to describe the humor in a failed day. I will let you borrow my chosen favorites:
Batballzzzz = I need to recalibrate, this did not work.
Amazeballz= That was uniquely upsetting, wonderful, or altogether mind-blowingly awful. Must repeat or reduce.
F**** = Who am I kidding, I still use this one.
LineStrike = Don’t listen, and snatch that crap back from the Universe. Whatever he or she said will not interrupt my peace and make me reactive.
GoodDay = I am pissed. But I refuse to name call. Instead, I just need to dismiss myself pleasantly.
Bullshag = Get me the freak out of where I am, I hate this experience.
Muzzles = Give me more.
Lightwaves = I use this in elative type verbal exchanges. Takes the place of d*** so effectively.
Why sub the language?? Because you are communicating with your own subconscious, not anyone else’s. YOURS. Every word becomes imprinted for use another time, hence another experience just like it. Another moment of rage, disappointment, etc. By removing the hard language that normally accompanies the hard moment, we are telling ourselves, “This wasn’t that bad, but I choose my reality and what headache pain level it gives me. I can deal with the un-deal-able. I am above bullshag’s….(See how that works?) For the bonus; You appear unshakeable to most people who will honestly respect your level of self-love-like dialogue.
3. Alter your focus. Notice “twinning” in your life crossings. Ever hear someone say something you repeat all the time, like a common phrase or wear a style similar to yours?
4. Dump your dessert so to speak. If you are getting ice cream, with hot fudge on top with all the nuts but the cherry isn’t there and the cherry is your favorite part. Guess what – Dump the dessert. Order a new one. Stop feeling bad about asking for just “cherries”. It is okay to be ultra-specific and anal-retentive about what the heck makes you giggle for reasons you just can’t explain. All the cherries in the world are what’s in it for you.
5. Substitute high-expectation for high-awareness. A higher awareness allows you to take notice of all the places where there is lack or a need. Filling in holes means you get to keep yourself from drowning in most areas of life. Preservation of relationships, integrity, and most importantly – self-degradation via expect behaviors = YOU WILL BECOME A RECIPIENT OF ALL GOOD THINGS BY DEFAULT.
FINAL TRUTH BOMB: PEOPLE OWE YOU NOTHING. LIFE OWES YOU NOTHING. YOU OWE YOURSELF EVERYTHING.
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This post is republished on Medium.
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Photo credit: iStock
