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In which John Green says funny things while making Crash Course World History.
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Transcript Provided by YouTube:
00:00
JOHN 3.
00:02
2.
00:03
1.
00:04
Hi I’m John Green.
00:05
This is Crash Course World History and today we’re gonna return to two of our favorite
00:08
themes: the creation of nation states and the role of war.
00:13
HAHAHA.
00:14
I mean is the fly gonna be in the shot?
00:19
Like that one was very close.
00:21
BACKGROUND Well let’s kill him.
00:23
JOHN I don’t know where he…
00:24
I mean he’s- he’s- he’s on the move.
00:26
He’s not a… he’s not a quiet relaxed fly.
00:29
Did you see him in the shot Zelaya?
00:30
BACKGROUND Like this one that’s dead on the floor here.
00:32
JOHN Yeah, he’s not like that dead one.
00:33
He’s got way more energy.
00:35
It’s good, I like that joke that I didn’t write.
00:37
Okay.
00:38
It’s not about whether to fast during Rom…
00:40
Rom Kippur or Yamadan?
00:42
[laughing] It’s not about…
00:44
Issued the Balfor.
00:45
Balfor.
00:46
Balfor?
00:47
Bal- Bal
00:48
BACKGROUND I think Bal.
00:49
JOHN Bal.
00:50
In 19…
00:51
With the help of Jewish militias…
00:52
With the help of Jewish militias the British…
00:53
With the help of Jewish…
00:55
Jewish militias of the British is not easy for someone with a lisp.
00:58
With the help of Jewish militias…
01:00
With the help of Jewish militias the British brutally suppressed the Palestinian revolt…
01:04
With the help of Jewish militias the British brutally…
01:07
With the help of Jewish militias the British brutally sup…
01:09
With the help of Jewish militias…
01:11
Oh, God.
01:12
Changed territorial…territory…territor-ally…territorially?
01:16
BACKGROUND Yeah.
01:18
Territorially.
01:19
JOHN Territori…
01:20
Terri…Huh?
01:21
BACKGROUND Territorially.
01:22
JOHN Territorially.
01:23
Oh, I got my nose.
01:24
Oh, oh, itch.
01:25
Okay.
01:26
Oh boy, hold on.
01:33
I gotta gotta sneeze.
01:34
Achoo!
01:35
BACKGROUND Oh!
01:36
JOHN Sorry, that was very loud for you, I know.
01:37
BACKGROUND Yeah.
01:38
Yep.
01:39
JOHN Alright.
01:40
So the ba oh!
01:41
Nope.
01:42
I had to boo boo boop.
01:43
I had to have a third word.
01:44
So the next…
01:45
I’ll say ‘So the next.’
01:46
So the next…
01:47
But pull, pull faster.
01:48
Pull faster.
01:49
Pull it the ‘suh’ in ‘sew’.
01:51
3…
01:52
Look it’s a collection of infidelidous American presidents.
01:55
An open letter to Bill Clinton…
01:57
BACKGROUND Infidelidous?
01:58
Is that a word, what?
01:59
JOHN I think ‘infidelidous’ is funny because it’s-
02:00
BACKGROUND [noncommittal noise]
02:01
JOHN Cause it’s a made up word, but I’ll do philandering.
02:03
Greenland, Normandy, and Kiev during the so-called Viking Age.
02:07
Between 17…
02:08
[BLEEP] Does that work, otherwise?
02:12
BACKGROUND Yeah, let’s do it.
02:15
One without the [BLEEP].
02:19
JOHN
02:20
[snickering] [cough] Are you sure?
02:21
BACKGROUND Yeah.
02:22
JOHN I was right though, just to be clear.
02:23
BACKGROUND I was ri-
02:24
JOHN No, yeah.
02:25
We agreed that I was correct.
02:26
Perfect.
02:27
Umm…
02:28
That’s why we moved it over here.
02:30
BACKGROUND Alright.
02:31
JOHN Dahhha!
02:33
I lost but won!
02:35
I was wrong-
02:36
BACKGROUND I be straight wi-
02:37
JOHN but I made you believe I was right.
02:38
BACKGROUND No, I don’t believe it.
02:39
I’m just ready to move on.
02:40
JOHN Ah, yeah.
02:41
That’s even better.
02:42
BACKGROUND [chuckling]
02:43
JOHN It’s- I still won.
02:44
That’s the important thing.
02:45
Did no one fix my hair before this started?
02:46
Was it was it all low like Billy Ray Cyrus?
02:47
BACKGROUND No.
02:48
JOHN Was it like this?
02:49
BACKGROUND It looked largely likes it looks now.
02:53
JOHN Did it look like this?
02:55
This is how it’s supposed to look.
02:57
BACKGROUND Yeah, that’s right.
02:58
JOHN Okay.
02:59
BACKGROUND It’s been mostly like that.
03:00
No- [not Stan]
03:01
JOHN Faroe Islands.
03:02
This is so obscure.
03:03
BACKGROUND [laughter]
03:04
JOHN The two hundred and twenty thousand people
03:05
living in Iceland, and the eighty thousand living in Greenland.
03:07
What an accomplishment.
03:08
God.
03:09
All-
03:10
BACKGROUND Also-
03:11
JOHN All told, all told.
03:12
They all told, they, they invented a civilization almost as big as Columbus, Ohio.
03:15
BACKGROUND Not nearly.
03:17
JOHN AHAHAHAHA.
03:18
And we call it Latin America…
03:20
I don’t know why.
03:21
Europe.
03:22
Now, within the categories of bot Sunni and Shia, there are further divisions and more
03:26
sex.
03:27
But the basic division- I said sex.
03:28
Um, it’s, that’s, you want to nail the ‘t’ on that one.
03:31
BACKGROUND Yeah.
03:32
JOHN So Reza Khan became Reza Shah, and then he
03:34
attempted to turn Persia, which he… [high pitch] Persia!
03:38
BACKGROUND You’re saying The History Channel has it wrong.
03:41
[laughing]
03:42
JOHN [laughing] Just stunning!
03:43
M- Mosaddegh?
03:44
I still can’t say it right.
03:45
Mosaddegh?
03:46
BACKGROUND You do.
03:47
JOHN Mosaddegh?
03:48
BACKGROUND Everyone knows who that is.
03:49
Maybe you should just…
03:50
JOHN No.
03:51
Your, y- y- you, you know better, yeah.
03:52
I trust you more than I trust Stan.
03:53
BACKGROUND Mosaddegh.
03:54
JOHN Mosaddegh.
03:55
Most history books say that the British and the CIA engineered a coup to remove Mosaddegh
03:56
from office.
03:57
And it’s true that they tried to engineer…
04:00
BACKGROUND That wasn’t either of them.
04:02
JOHN Mosaddegh?
04:03
BACKGROUND Yeah.
04:04
Uh huh.
04:05
JOHN -Olla. [gargling] Khomeini.
04:06
BACKGROUND Khomeini.
04:07
Khomeini.
04:08
JOHN Khomeini.
04:09
Khomeini.
04:10
BACKGROUND Ruholla.
04:11
JOHN Ruholla.
04:12
BACKGROUND Yeah.
04:13
JOHN Alright.
04:14
Revolution wasn’t universally popular.
04:15
For instance, it was opposed by a particular Shia cleric named Ayatollah Ruholla Khomeini.
04:19
Khomeini.
04:20
Khomeini.
04:22
[gargling] It was opposed by a particular Shia cleric named Ayatollah Ruholla Khomeini.
04:26
BACKGROUND I think you can say the ‘k’.
04:30
JOHN Khomeini?
04:31
BACKGROUND Yeah.
04:32
JOHN No.
04:33
How would you say it?
04:34
BACKGROUND Khomeini.
04:35
JOHN Khomeini.
04:36
[gargling]
04:37
BACKGROUND But wi- with the ‘k’.
04:38
Just a little little-
04:39
JOHN So I think it’s unfair to say that a majority
04:40
of those who took to the streets in late 1978 were motivated by a fundamental vision of
04:45
Islam.
04:46
BACKGROUND I think fundamentalist is important there.
04:49
JOHN Ah, yeah.
04:50
Thank you.
04:51
So I think it’s- He was at the time…
04:53
Paris in exile, as opposed to living in Paris not in exile.
04:56
[laughing]
04:57
BACKGROUND [chuckle] He was.. living a plebeian lifestyle.
05:02
[laughing]
05:03
JOHN [laughing] I just…
05:05
He was young!
05:06
HAHAHAHA.
05:07
He was in love!
05:08
It-
05:09
BACKGROUND Accomplished guy.
05:10
JOHN Huh?
05:11
BACKGROUND Accomplished guy.
05:12
JOHN Yeah.
05:13
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
05:14
God.
05:15
[laughing] He was hanging out with Hemingway and you know how it is.
05:17
Um. [chuckles]
05:18
BACKGROUND So yeah, huh.
05:21
JOHN Okay.
05:22
Um I- do I need to say that he was living in Paris?
05:24
I guess it’s good.
05:25
Um.
05:26
BACKGROUND Just in the coffee shop culture…
05:28
JOHN HAHAHAHA.
05:29
Now if democracy is only about holding elections, then this new Iran was a democracy.
05:35
Iran has elections, both for president and the Parliament, known as the Majlis.
05:40
Sharia law in a particularly harss.
05:48
Harss?
05:49
History often focus on the Tokugawa period because it’s got ninja and samurai.
05:53
But much of the foundation of Japanese culture dates to the Heian period.
05:57
Hei- Hei-
05:58
BACKGROUND Heian.
06:00
JOHN Heian.
06:01
Women like Murasaki Shikibu lived lives of very…
06:03
Shikibu?
06:04
BACKGROUND Shikibu.
06:05
JOHN Sh- Shikibu.
06:07
Women like Murasaki Shikibu lived constrained cloistered lives.
06:11
BACKGROUND Murasaki.
06:12
You said ‘saku’.
06:14
JOHN Murasaki Shikibu.
06:15
The women like Murasaki Shikibu lived constrained cloistered lives.
06:19
Murasaki?
06:20
BACKGROUND I think you said ‘saku’ that time.
06:23
JOHN Bu- The women like Murasaki Shikibu…
06:26
Did I say it right that time?
06:27
BACKGROUND Yeah, you did!
06:28
JOHN Murasaki Shikibu.
06:29
But women like Murasaku- Murasaki Shikibu.
06:32
Crash Course is filmed here in the Chad and Stacy Emigholz Studio in Indianapolis.
06:36
And it’s made possible thanks to your support through subbable.com.
06:40
Was that alright?
06:41
BACKGROUND Mmm…
06:42
JOHN No.
06:43
BACKGROUND [laugh] It wasn’t great.
06:44
JOHN Alright, let’s do it again.
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Previously published on YouTube.
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Photo credit: Screenshot from video