Marital issues and problems tend to come from a pattern of actions taken or not taken against each other by the married couple. Toxic habits in a marriage can be subtle or even silent. From sexless marriage to a lack of respect, toxic marital habits can and do kill a marriage if not changed.
Here is a compilation of the 10 toxic habits of married couples and how they usually lead to bigger problems if not addressed.
1. Not Listening To Your Partner
Hearing is not the same as effective listening. When you listen, you pay attention to what is being said and actively engage in conversation but when you simply hear, then, you might end up doing or saying something hurtful. A pattern of actively NOT listening to your partner can make them feel like you respect their opinion less or your opinion is the only one that matters, which can often lead to resentment and frustration.
2. Not Showing Respect
Talking about your spouse in a negative light is disrespectful, whether you do it to associates, friends, or some members of the family. Lack of appreciation is also disrespectful and can lead to both you and your spouse doing the same to each other.
3. Needing to Have The Last Word
If you feel that you always have to be right, you might win all the battles but still end up losing the war. When you ‘correct’ your partner in every way, give uninvited lectures most of the time and feel that you should have the last word in everything, you might end up single soon. It pays to know when to admit you’re wrong. When your partner feels that you are talking down to them or disrespecting them, try putting yourself in their shoes and you might be surprised.
4. Habitual Lying
Even ‘white lies’ can turn very dark when it becomes too common. Lying about things, no matter how small is a sure sign of more problems later on because you’re not facing the truth. Habitual lying is also a direct route to lack of trust in a relationship.
5. Being Too Self Centered
Being greedy and selfish has no place in marriage. Healthy marriages are based on sharing both the good and the bad. Taking away something from your partner for your own gains is going to end up in conflict every time. Remember to also think about how something will affect your partner before proceeding. It just might save your marriage.
6. Little to No Physical Intimacy
Your spouse is not your roommate. Not being interested in sex and not giving physical affection can often lead to decreased self-confidence and in some cases even cheating spouses. Intimacy can be tough when you have young children and are exhausted all the time, but finding time to show your spouse that you find them attractive and wanted, is almost just as important as making sure the kids are bathed and fed. It’s also a great way to relieve stress for both of you! Don’t end up being the guy who hires a private investigator to find out his wife is cheating on him. Show some affection and it will do wonders for your relationship!
7. Being Insensitive
Joking and having fun is normal, but hurtful teasing isn’t. If your spouse is insecure about something, bringing it up all the time, even in a joking manner can cause resentment.
8. Not Backing Your Words with Actions
Not walking the talk or not staying true to your word erodes trust between you and your spouse. Actions do speak louder than words when it comes to long-term relationships. Your spouse should feel safe when with you knowing that you always have his or her back.
9. Arguing Like a Toddler
If you’re still having temper tantrums and sulking when you don’t get your way, then you’re acting like a toddler. There is a way to handle conflict and fight fair in your marriage and that is communicating about it in a factual way. Make the change before you lose your spouse.
10. Not Breaking Nasty Habits
Nitpicking small things, having bad hygiene, playing too much video games, or spending most of your waking hours on social media can be very annoying to your partner. When the honeymoon phase is over, this behavior can lead to the death of your marriage.
This article originally appeared on Divorced Moms
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