Beyond Conscious Commitment

It is a common belief that couples tend to go through several stages in their relationship as time goes on. The first is the romantic Honeymoon stage, where everything is beautiful. Next is the Disillusionment stage, where reality sets in. Power Struggle is where each partner tries to get the other to change. Couples come to Truce when they accept their partner for who they are and realize they cannot force them to change. Conscious Commitment occurs when couples are willing to do what they can, as individuals and as a couple, to further their own and their partner’s physical, intellectual, emotional, social, and spiritual unfolding.

In the couple’s journey, Conscious Commitment is a beautiful place to be. It is a joyful experience and a wonderful accomplishment to have reached this stage in a relationship. Most couples who arrive here are content to rest and enjoy the fruits of a great relationship. A few couples may want to expand their love further into the world. For these few, there is another stage in the journey, Shared Service. These couples want to do more, they want to team up and pursue a shared calling in order to make their community, their country, and the world a better place.

On a local level, a couple might work together to help create a neighborhood food bank or homeless shelter. On a national or international level, couples who possess finances and have name recognition use their resources and drive to benefit large numbers of people. Couples in service, by supporting and uplifting each other in their good work, are a much more powerful force than one alone.

The world is suffering. On every continent, there are divisions along racial, economic, cultural, and political lines that threaten to weaken the fabric of civilization. When two powerful individuals who have a deep, healthy love for each other and a commitment to be of benefit team up in shared service, they can move mountains. Who is better able to advocate for harmony in the world than couples who have created harmony in their relationship? They lead by example and inspiration because they have worked through the difficult chore of creating a peaceful, intimate relationship. They can take their lived experience with each other and apply it to the problems they encounter in their community and in the world.

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Shared Service is not for everyone. Nor is it a better, more “advanced” stage of a relationship. It is a calling. Couples are called to service by their desire to be of help and the resources, skills, and talents they have available to offer.

What a blessing to have been given a lifespan of three score and ten. Why not use part of that precious time to be of service to others. And what better way than to be of service hand-in-hand with the love of your life.