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A friend of mine told me last week that his marriage of 12 years was ending in divorce. I was quite surprised, as his marriage looked like one that was healthy, happy, and successful. He and his wife had the nice house, the three children, and the vacations to exotic places. He had a stable and high paying job, and his wife wore the nicest of clothing.
Yet, like so many marriages, his one was not as healthy and as happy as it appeared on the surface.
According to the National Center for Family and Marriage Research, the divorce rate in America has decreased the past few years, with a rate of 16.9 out of every 1,000 marriages ending in divorce. Yet, despite the fact that the divorce rate has decreased in the United States, it still happens, and marriages do end. For those children who are caught in the middle of a divorce, their young lives are forever changed; forever altered. Indeed, it is often that the children suffer the most when their parents chose divorce. Research points out that children from divorced families many times suffer academically, with lower grades in school. Furthermore, studies also indicate that children from divorced families are more likely to engage in drugs and early alcohol use.
Many times, parents in the midst of a divorce turn to mediation as a means to settling differences with a third party when the couple is unable to do so by themselves. Certainly, there are times when a divorce mediator might be necessary, for all involved. Yet, it is not always the solution. To be sure, there are times when it might not be necessary to hire a mediator. Mediators do not necessarily look out for the best interest of those who hired them, as the mediator’s job is to act as a neutral third party. Along with that, mediation can be costly, and does not guarantee that your problems and challenges will be relieved, or that the case will be settled.
As noted earlier, the divorce rate in our nation has decreased, yet divorce is still a reality, both for parents and children alike. A reality that is, for so many families, one that is filled with great emotion and with difficulty.
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Photo Credit: Getty Images
I like what this article mentions about divorce mediation and how it means settling differences with a third party. It makes sense that this could be helpful to ensure there aren’t any fights or problems when separating assets, etc. I’ll have to keep this in mind to reduce the stress a divorce takes so it’s a much quicker process.
Why did the divorce rate decrease? I think the recession and the gig economy have much to do with it. The reality is that many couples, wishing to divorce, can’t afford maintaining two residences or hiring a babysitter or after school program to balance childcare and other needs when a spouse moves out. I call staying in that situation “divorcing in place”… It’s also a reality for many living with chronic or catastrophic illness…