1) Dar Williams’s When I Was A Boy is one of the most powerful anti-gender-roles songs I’ve ever heard– and it includes a bonus criticism of femmephobia:
And so I tell the man I’m with about the other life I lived
And I say, “Now you’re top gun, I have lost and you have won”
When I was a girl, my mom and I, we always talked
And I picked flowers everywhere that I walked.
And I could always cry, now even when I’m alone I seldom do
And I have lost some kindness.
But I was a girl too.
And you were just like me, and I was just like you.”
2) Charlie Glickman, a sex-positive educator, has a very interesting post on gender essentialism, masculinity and sex-negativity, critiquing those who describe sterotypical male fantasies as “what men want.” An excerpt:
Now, I’ll certainly agree that there are trends and commonalities among many men. And I also agree that those tendencies have caused and continue to cause a lot of serious problems. But the essentialist language that these two writers use neglects the experiences and the existences of gay men, bisexual men, and transgender men. It renders invisible heterosexual men who don’t fit within the dominant sexual paradigm. It ignores genderqueer folks and pansexual people, some of whom identify as men. It denies the existence of sexually submissive men, and men who don’t get turned on by the standard model of female attractiveness. By talking about “men” as if we all experience sexuality in the same way, both of these folks reinforce and reify one of the foundations of the problem that they’re trying to critique.