The New York Times wishes to ask us all whether men are manly enough. It’s too bad that the NYT didn’t bother to ask me, because if they did I could have solved their problem really really quickly.
1) Do they identify as men?
2) If YES, then they are manly enough.
3 If NO, then they are not men, so your question does not apply.
I’m waiting for my check, New York Times!
All right, there is so much stupid in this article I can’t do a proper line-by-line mockery, so y’all will have to content yourselves with a bunch of Shorters, a concept ganked from the fabulous Sadly, No!. I have linked the articles so you can see whether I’m strawmanning any of this shit. (I am not strawmanning any of this shit.)
Shorter Joel Stein: Gender is not a social construct, because my son likes cars. “We are not free to be you and me” (direct quote). If we don’t all stop being pussy-ass nerds and start fixing the plumbing and exercising, civilization will fall because no one will ever get laid again so there’ll be no babies, and also other people will kill us.
Shorter Mark Simpson: This question is stupid. Fuck off.
Shorter Natasha Scripture: I want a man who’s big… and strong… and rugged.. and can build me a log cabin on our third date… and rips his meat apart with his teeth like a real man… and OH GOD I JUST CAME.
Shorter Loni Love: Some men get pedicures, which means that I have to wait longer for my pedicures, and that upsets me. “First world problem”? What’s a “first world problem”?
Shorter Lawrence Schlossman: I disapprove of mustaches and bacon-wrapped fried things. Instead of doing that stuff, to be a real man, you should just be good, honest, kind, open, tolerant, etc. Gender role enforcement doesn’t count as long as you’re only enforcing good character!
Shorter Marty Beckerman: WAAAAAH MOM THIS GENERATION ISN’T INDULGING MY SELF-SUFFICIENT RURAL SURVIVALIST MAN FETISH WAAAAAAAAH INSTEAD THEY’RE LEARNING SKILLS THAT ARE USEFUL IN THEIR EVERYDAY LIVES WAAAAAAH MOM MAKE THEM STOP *stamps foot*
Shorter Shawn Taylor: Men need to develop a code of honor and not walk out on their kids. I dunno, man, I can’t really mock this one. Being a good parent is important if you have kids.
Shorter Kelly Turnball: Masculine men are people too, but they’re not the only kind of men who are people. Back to the important topic: I draw a webcomic about video games! Want to read it?
The original post is just a condensed version of a story (possibly apocryphal) my mom told me growing up (I was born in the early 60s). A famous bull fighter slips away from a party and is discovered changing his child’s diaper. The guest who finds him is shocked that he is ignoring his proper gender role and takes him to task for being unmanly. The bull fighter points out that he is a man and therefore anything he does IS manly. I have always thought that one of the best responses to people spouting gender essentialism.
Shorter Mark Simpson: This question is stupid. Fuck off.
That about sums it up for me 🙂
I look forward to the NYT’s hard-hitting reportage on the following issues:
Are cats feline enough?
Are tomatoes red enough?
Are wheels round enough?
Is rain wet enough?
Do bears shit in the woods enough?
Iwork with men who you definitaly wont see on the campus of your ‘Hippie College’. Some of these mens life are “Train Wrecks”, since they tend to perhaps drink possibly too much? However, on 7/3 , when I was on a gangplank between two work barges and that gangplank flipped on it’s side and tore my right arm open (30 stitches), When I was in danger of falling into ‘the drink’, 2 men grabbed the gangplank and prevented it from flipping all the way over,another grabbed my fat ass and pulled it onto the barge, and 2 more wrapped my… Read more »
If you as a man make the decision to have intercourse, you consent to having a child. – Shawn Taylor I have a distinct suspicion that Ozy would object to this statement if the genders were reversed. Shorter Marty Beckerman: WAAAAAH MOM THIS GENERATION ISN’T INDULGING MY SELF-SUFFICIENT RURAL SURVIVALIST MAN FETISH WAAAAAAAAH INSTEAD THEY’RE LEARNING SKILLS THAT ARE USEFUL IN THEIR EVERYDAY LIVES WAAAAAAH MOM MAKE THEM STOP *stamps foot* I get the opposite impression from this one. After all, the author himself. admits to being entirely helpless without the trappings of civilization. Given that he also spends a… Read more »
With the exception of the fellow who discusses parental ethics, the rest of the conversationalists – barring perhaps the webcomic artist, show a disturbing inability to deal with modern life and change. Their ideals are so out of date that I would have expected them from a baby boomer, not a bunch of people who were born in the 60s and 70s.
But then I suppose that generation still venerates all things old and anachronistic because they were so heavily influenced by their parents.
The webcomic one isn’t really saying anything offensive, but it isn’t really saying anything at all, and I kind of dislike self-promotion when it disguises itself as social commentary, even if the essence of the commentary isn’t offensive.
Admittedly I might feel more charitable if I liked the webcomic more. I find it pretty asinine.
I don’t know, I think Mark Simpson has some good points, and Ozy’s characterization of his response is certainly a good way to answer the initial question.