Andrew Cotto wonders why we are so enthralled by the “tough is good” male stereotype.
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America has a macho problem. Too much of our culture is informed by the idea of manhood being defined by toughness. We love the idea of the bad ass as the good guy, doling out physical justice to those who have it coming. The archetypal American “hero” is often promoted through our narratives, particularly our film heroes. Just look at the trailer for the new Tom Cruise film, where the eponymous character of Jack Reacher, from the Lee Child novels, is brought to life. The trailer features a scene where Cruise as Trapper is in the middle of the street surrounded by a posse of apparent bad guys with bad intentions. Cool and collected, Trapper mocks and dismantles his foes with devastating force and ease. Talk about fiction. I imagine this scene is in the very beginning of the film, not part of the primary plot but merely a vehicle for characterization, though it dominates the trailer for a reason: Many men eat this shit up. Too many of them think Clint Eastwood is actually Dirty Harry (based on his attempt to bully a chair that supposedly symbolized our sitting president, Eastwood might actually think he’s Dirty Harry, too).
This conflation of tough reality versus tough fantasy is dangerous. Wayne LaPierre, Executive Vice President and CEO of the National Rifle Association, openly advocates a solution to our fire arms problem with “good guys with guns” shooting the “bad guys with guns.” Such a reductive and ignorant purview should be the domain of children in the “Bang! Bang! You’re dead” world of youthful imagination. It should not be part of the rhetoric from the nation’s most powerful lobby. LaPierre is not alone. Too many of our public figures – those who seriously influence our culture, conversations, and laws – have a relationship with violence that is rooted in reductive fantasy. They are novelists, filmmakers, game developers and musicians. They are also radio personalities, politicians, activists and lobbyists. This is one of the rare moments where the traditionally liberal world of entertainment conspires (unwittingly, I’m certain) with factions of the super conservative camps.
It’s easy to sell this macho schlock to men because most of us are susceptible when it comes to the idea of toughness. Most of us are taught from an early age that tough is good. Tough is character. Tough is necessary. Being tough makes you a man. But the truth is that most of us in America never get within an arm’s length of real tough. Most of us are just too privileged to be exposed to the conditions which require mettle to survive. Good for us. And some of us appreciate this, but for many young men indoctrinated in the gospel of tough, not being tough leaves them feeling insecure as grown men. This insecurity often manifests in big talk from men with little guts. And many of these men covet power. These are the ones who publically grandstand but privately cower. Their inner impotence turns into outward anger. So some scared men howl belligerence into microphones; and some seek office; and some create fantasy narratives that glamorize violence; and some are lobbyists for gun makers who refuse to budge from their obstinacy even when the “Bang! Bang! You’re dead” world of our children is no longer imaginary.
This macho problem is really about bullying. America is being bullied by a loud minority of cowardly men (and some women who share their faux-tough stances). Look how those who lack courage dominate (or attempt to dominate) the conversation on guns, the environment, taxes, health care, censorship, immigration, entitlements, military spending, gay rights, abortion, terrorism, and religion. Look how they poison our progress with absurd stances and a refusal to consider compromise. The rest of us need to stand up for the greater good. We all have it in us, men and women. With our voices and our votes and our power as consumers, we can steer this country towards a more perfect/less preposterous union where toughness stands down to logic.
photo: Muscle Dominator / Flickr
This is a decisive view that ignores the real issues of our lack of virulent state nationalism, need for super idealistic federal government, technologically inept government bodies, shitty foreign-domestic policies and a welfare system that generally leaves all boys as latch-key kids.
Blaming a country’s issues on an individual or individuals is cowardly scapegoatism.
Masculinity and feminity are gendered and aesthetic. You may as well be reading someone’s future from the stars if you’re looking for any relevance in them.
Mas
“…The rest of us need to stand up for the greater good…we can steer this country towards a more perfect/less preposterous union where toughness stands down to logic [with all of us more feminine and passive…why can’t a man be more like a woman] – says the gay guy.”
FTFY
The war against men is a basic tactic; make men look evil and women look victims of those evils.
Then get government money to protect those women from the evil men; part of that money goes into advertising the same to get more money to denigrated more men; this is the experience ecpressed by Erin Pizzey
Yup. The Woody Alan dream is over. No more pink shirts, cut away sweatshirts, short shorts, make up, and long coiffed hair. Sensitive men don’t get the chicks- that would have been too easy anyways. These are core values at hand. Men still value physical beauty more than anything and women still value security the most (to live their fairy tale mall shopping lives). But we can change – men especially! If we men really saw that we could get the girls by driving priuses, (being more environmentally sensitive) we would. We live to impress the ladies. The ironic question… Read more »
When did diss-empowerment become good for men? I’m a hands on father of girls so don’t get me wrong. Having worked in a feminist dominated environment I’ve seen women put down macho men (a la this article) yet these same people abused power left and right, just not physically. Macho men are good men too. I get the sense from this article and this website that men should be wimpy in order to be good. which is just plain wrong.
Thanks Richard. Unfortunately though, I must take on these psuedo liberals day after day as I fight for my children in custody courts infested by liberals that do not understand liberalism. These are absolutely people like John that can not understand the very simple analogy of the brat child that rebels against her father. The father is likely to have understood and conquered the big bad world and only lovingly strives to keep his daughter safe while she wants to dream that things are ok. Who is correct is irrelevant. What’s important is that the two respect the other’s position.… Read more »
When I worked with exchange students (AFS), I happened to be talking to a kid from Norway. Somebody asked him about the draft–it was while the USSR was still a threat–and he said they had one but nobody thought much of it. Their army wasn’t a big deal. If anything happens, he said smugly, we know who’ll come and take care of it. There was an entire Marine division prepared and trained for arctic warfare because their primary role if the balloon had gone up was…Norway. There’s a road in Carentan, France, named after the 101st Airborne. Two in Holland… Read more »
Ok Norway’s too abstract- ok say France if that helps your rude self.
Omg- are u telling me out military had problems? Wow how enlightening! I had no idea. Thank you!
Yeah if you’re gathering mushrooms in the wilderness, you better watch out for the forces that be. Weather, cougars, humans with guns. Call it whatever u fancy to convince yourself that you’re smart. Most of us call it life.
This article is really a jaded jab at those that will be tough if ever it’s called upon. It’s like the brat child that “hates” her father for refusing that she go out in a miniskirt at the bad side of town. Grow up. We opinionated tough guys are truly only trying to protect our people. That may sound condescending but we’re past the point if ‘niceties’ in politics today. If Norway’s government goes bad, etc. we’ll come save their asses but who will save us if our government, the most powerful in the world, goes bad? No one, children-that’s… Read more »
Honestly I am typically disinclined to argue with such festering idiots as yourself “Jeremy” but your jeremiad on guns and niceties belies an ignorance which should, at the very least, be stood up to. This country tolerates such foolishness in a way intelligent people struggle to comprehend. It may only be because you probably haven’t read a book since you dropped out of high school, and a repetitive lunatic is impossible to rationalize with. A few points: 1) Your metaphor about a daughter with a miniskirt makes absolutely no sense in the context of this article, but it does give… Read more »
Why are men tough; that is a relative statement. Tough relative to what? Are men tough because women chose to be considered weaker than men? Are women weak because they chose not to chose life threatening jobs that have to be done, weak because they chose not to work in sewers, or do not have the strength to pick up the diner bill or do not have the strength to open the door for others??? Humans are animals; just like lions, giraffes, elephants and other animals; the male is the aggressor for the protection of the species but the female… Read more »
I’d encourage people to read … http://www.gleamingedge.com/mirrors/onsheepwolvesandsheepdogs.html …. I think it sums it up in my book. It has nothing to do with “image” but who different people are. What they’re made of.
Sheep have a pretty good sense of smell. If the scent of danger overcomes their denial, they will cluster around the sheepdog.
Afterwards, however it turns out, the sheepdog may find an extra Gainesburger tossed his way.
But there’s always a spot at bar in the sheepdogs’ club.
Peggy Noonan had something to say on the subject:
She wasn’t concerned.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB122451174798650085.html
My article is about differentiating between truly-tough men and faux-tough men, with an emphasis on the latter since they aren’t the ones who run into burning buildings but often those who caused the fire.
Andrew.
I missed that in your article. I got carried away with the list ot things faux-tough guys disagree with you on, like defense spending and global warming and whatnot. I guess there’s no reason other than being faux-tough to recall the CRU’s faux data,
As has been noted, when bad guys with guns show up, most people call for good guys with guns. I guess it’s only a bad idea when LaPierre suggests it. Cops in school was good idea with the Right Sort of People when Clinton suggested it. It all depends. As always.
Great article Andrew; tackling a tough topic as well. Guns are a problem in America.No solution for that, the horse is already out of the barn. The bigger problem is the massive amount of unstable people living in this country who have easy access to firearms….
What seems to be missing from this discussion is the realization that there are different forms of toughness and different kinds of courage. I’ve noticed for many years that machismo (properly defined) has never appreciated moral courage. How often have you ever seen articles featured in Esquire about such men as Martin Luther King Jr., Andrei Sakharov, or Raoul Wallenberg? They’re more likely to extol some self-centered celebrity who has (supposedly) bedded an inordinate number of young women over the years. That’s supposedly what being a “real man” is all about. The father of a childhood friend of mine was… Read more »
Sir, you very eloquently put down what I was thinking after reading this article and comments. There are many different types of toughness and in my opinion machismo is not one of them. I see more fear in gun brandishers and roided meatheads than in anyone else. Toughness is a mental and spiritual quality that has given us much of what we cherish today. We need to cultivate that toughness, and not the fake machismo of violence.
“Starting with the NRA and moving down the ladder to people incensed that it was reported that Adam Lanza may have been autistic.” Speaking as an autistic individual whom has kept up to speed with this current issue, we were not incensed that it was reported Adam Lanza may have been autistic. What started the protest was two TV networks, ABC and Fox, discovering this and then running with it. They pretty much blamed autism for Adam acting out and shooting. That’s what we were upset about: The association of being autistic to shooting up a school full of elementary… Read more »
Yes we do have a Macho Problem- we’ve become a nation of wimps unwilling an unable to stand up to the whinging privilege of any damned minority…
Starting with the NRA and moving down the ladder to people incensed that it was reported that
Adam Lanza may have been autistic.
We have a macha problem as well.
Look at the stand on two legs activism did to Westboro at Texas A&M- that is macho.
You want change- grow a set, man up, be a good man.
I’m glad the good men project is dealing with this issue. There is a lot of stuff here that takes for granted the toughness equals male idea. I have never agreed with that idea of masculinity should be equated with toughness and its always seemed to me to be a way of making bullying seem like something virtuous. Why are men expected to be “tough” while women are not? We don’t assume that a woman who isn’t “tough” is a pushover and I think it is high time we applied that same standard to men.
And your counter-proposal is…what? A nation of cowards and victims, buffeted helplessly by the winds of fate, ever feeling that no one has the right to demand any standard of behavior out of them? Because that’s what toughness is: doing the right thing even when it’s terrifyingly difficult. I’d also add that it is liberal fantasy that LaPierre’s point is wrong: if you didn’t believe his point was valid, you would be crusading to disarm the police as well. Forgive me, but I’m pretty tired of the same people who want the police to save them from the armed bad… Read more »
Sadly the police shoot alot of innocent people so in a more ideal world it would be nice if they were disarmed or at least less trigger happy.
Disarm the cops and then only the baddies will carry, for protection against each other if nothing else.
I think we generally agree here, but let’s not throw the baby out with the bathwater. Men (and women) glorify toughness because it is the most material display of “agency” available to us and has been effective in getting things done for millennia. (agency being defined as the capacity of an individual to act in the world. Held in dualistic polarity with “communion” where the being needs and interests of the many over the one are paramount.) “Toughness” did, in fact, carve out civilization from the state of nature, organize from tribal lord to nation state, explore and inhabit the… Read more »
I almost agreed with you, but was confused on one thing. Are you saying that agency is the same thing as power? If it is then I agree. I always envisioned agency as the ability to make decisions for or influence things that affect you. Power on the other hand is something you exert on someone else. I grew up in a working class neighborhood. There were a bunch of small gangs by today’s standards. Now there are basically two very large gangs. When boys joined the gangs and this is true even for my ex-gang banger friend, they joined… Read more »