Why didn’t cupid hear my cry?
Someone has to explain this one to me. I’m trying to understand what caused all of this. I fail to accept the life I’m living was always in the cards for me. Wasn’t it supposed to be for everyone? I’m so confused as to why it isn’t.
What happened?
If you looked in my eyes, then you would have seen that I was dying to have someone to love me. Like everyone else, I, too, looked for it in all the wrong places. I really believed I would find a way to reach my destination. Day after day, night after night, I imagined just how perfect of a combination this relationship would’ve been and what it would’ve entailed.
Where did it all go wrong?
I was told by everyone, “Have patience. Your time will come. Focus on other areas of life. Love yourself first. Put yourself out there, or some other reason” I followed so much sugar-coated advice I don’t know anymore. I was so convinced that if I continued to stay positive, it would walk through my door. That day I waited, hoped, and prayed for never came to fruition. It looked like love had other plans because when I called, love never answered.
Was it too much to ask?
I was mistaken about how love would include me. I feel so embarrassed about how it turned out. I was so naive to think that my special moment would finally arrive, but I guess there is no one left. It was an unfortunate aspect of my life-goals that didn’t involve me. In the beginning, everybody played the fool, but in the end, the joke was on me. All I could do now is laugh at myself.
How else could I explain this?
My perception of love changed the way I look at it now. I foolishly assumed someone would enter my life to fill a void of emptiness as I would theirs. I am fully aware that life leads people in many different directions, but I also completely understand that there’s no guarantee when it comes down to it. Once you take your chances, you will find out it is all a part of the territory.
Yet, I never once believed it would be me.
I always thought it would happen to someone else.
… But to somebody else, I am someone else.
Heart,
I’m sorry to have failed you.
I’m sorry I let you down.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Masaki Araya ( Author)