What to do when half of your relationship might have to leave the country.
Dear Sexes: So I met this great guy about a month ago and we’ve been dating ever since. However, he is here on visa and, depending on whether or not he can turn his internship into a real job, will have to leave the country in another two months until he can find a job in the US to come back to. I’m really falling for him, but can tell that I’m holding back a little since I’m worried he’s going to leave soon. What do I do?
She Said: While I think it’s smart to hold back a little, there’s something to be said for the long-distance love. In literature there’s a term for love based upon letters: it’s called an Epistolary relationship. Isn’t that word just beautiful on it’s own? Epistolary. Sigh.
There is nothing more amazing than a love letter (or email or Whatsapp or note in your Facebook inbox). The declaration of love, the putting into words the intense longing that distance can cause, it’s simply beautiful and timeless.
And what’s almost better than a love letter? FaceTime! Got an iphone or ipod touch? Set a time (or two) every day in which you two get on FaceTime and talk… Or even have phone sex! You can aim that camera anywhere… It can be really, really hot.
What I’m trying to say is: love is rare. If it walks through the door, don’t kick it out because it’s not in the exact form you were hoping for. If it gets hard down the road then fine, you can deal with that then. For now enjoy the spectacular tinglings of meeting someone you really connect with.
♦◊♦
He Said: You can start by saving your money for an airplane ticket to wherever Boyfriend is from. Seriously though, it makes sense that you’re holding back a bit, as the situation isn’t ideal, but don’t lose all hope just yet. Help your boyfriend turn that internship into a job. Get him some letters of recommendation. Perhaps there are other job opportunities you can look into with him. If you’re serious about him staying, explore all options.
The current job market is bad, but you’re in the market for some love. Now that’s a job with some incentives and rewards worth fighting for. Happy searching and good luck!
If you have a question for Josie and Eli, ask it here.
Originally published at SheSaidHeSaid.
—Photo ellenm1/Flickr
Keep up the hope. I’ve done both long distance and short distance many many times, and while long distance is tough, sometimes amazing things happen. I met a great woman while she was here in the States. Her visa expired and she had to go back to Russia. At first we accepted that we were halfway across the world from each other and decided to just stay friends. We both dated other people, but stayed in touch using Skype and email. Slowly we went from speaking every few weeks to once a week to once sometimes two or even three… Read more »
Awesome story! Thanks for that.
yeah i agree, was beautiful
Thank you both for your kind words. 🙂