This comment was from HeatherN on the post “Newsflach: Posting Naked Pics on Facebook Could Get You in Trouble!“
Sometimes the power of public shaming isn’t in what they use to shame you with, but rather the fact that they are trying to shame you at all. Right so, let’s pretend someone posted naked pics of me on the internet. Would I be ashamed? Nope…it’s just nudity. Now if I knew the person, and that person did it with the intention of shaming me, well then that’s a different story. Then it becomes about my relationship to that person…and then if society does start shaming me, it is again about the fact that these people who don’t know me have judged me. It doesn’t matter that I still don’t think that nude pics are shame-worthy. Having people judge you can, in itself, become a source of shame.
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photo: spence_sir / flickr
You only have had to read some comments on revenge sites – and the personal abuse that comes out of thin air – to grasp that shaming is not about the individual, it’s about the Social Monster that the abuser seeks to unleash! True indeed. The person that posts sexy pics of the ex that hurt them isn’t doing it to directly hurt the ex in question. No they are doing it in hopes of heavy indirect damage. They want the friends and family of that ex to wonder why they would take such “trashy” photos. They want the strangers… Read more »
Danny, I second that a million times.
Glad to see that some people are grasping that it’s not just the act or word that is aimed at shaming that is significant – it’s who is doing it and why that other’s all too often look at for justification. A total stranger snaps a shot of me nude on the beach and posts it on line. I too have no Nudity issues. So some people see my todger and love handles …. It’s not going to stir me up, and it’s nothing that hasn’t been seen in public before … or here after (Weather Permitting). On the other… Read more »
And as much as I understand the desire for revenge when someone’s hurt or abused you…I really think it’s important to think of shaming in the same way we do bullying. Because, really, it’s all part of the same thing.
Heather – I can see where you are coming from with your last comment, and at the same time it leaves me uneasy. I keep seeing so many ideas, and language being mashed together at great speed due to the Internet’s accessibility. That keeps leading to new ideas being generated at speeds that defy clarity. I like that you said ” “”think”” of shaming in the same way we do bullying.”, which is in my experience quite valid. Both are distinct forms of Interpersonal Violence and there are striking similarities in the psychology involved. But then again there are distinct… Read more »
Agreed. I think its perfectly understandable that some people who were bullied/shamed would go on to become bullies/shamers themselves. Looking for something to ease a pain that never healed properly.