Dad Keeps Secrets for Sanity

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About Jerry Mahoney

Jerry Mahoney is a stay-home gay dad, writer, sporadic tweeter and a frequent Bowser in Mario Kart. This piece probably appeared originally on his blog, Mommy Man. Jerry is also the author of Mommy Man: How I Went From Mild-Mannered Geek to Gay Superdad, which will be available in May from Taylor Trade Publishing.

Comments

  1. Made me smile the whole way through. This was a very inspiring read to me, Jerry, as I have never read anything involving two dads that wasn’t about being two dads raising kids. Looking forward to having a family like this of my own one day.

    • Thanks, Kaleb. Glad you liked it. I think my experience as a gay dad is maybe 10% unique and 90% universal to all parents — that’s about the proportion I write about on my blog.

  2. Brilliant!!

  3. Just awesome, thanks!

  4. I enjoyed your story up until they closed by qualifying you as gay. A dad is a dad is a dad. It doesn’t make you special in that regard and I’m sure you recognize that much of society still frowns on same sex parenting. You lost credibility points using that declaration. Sorry ;(

    • “They” is probably the author who, I’m guessing, has a huge say in constructing his own byline. That’s an identifier, not a qualifier. There’s nothing in this piece that makes it unique to gay parents except a hint in #9 that there are 2 dads in the house, not a mom and a dad. And it was so subtle that most people probably had to read it 2-3 times to get it. This is not a piece about gay parenting; it’s a piece about parenting. The fact that the author identifies as gay in the byline reinforces the article, in my opinion, in that there’s little difference between gay parents and straight parents.

  5. I’m not sure I get your point, Mark. I proudly label myself as a gay dad. It’s really not up to you to define me or tell me what I can and can’t say. Yes, a dad is a dad, but being in a nontraditional family colors my perspective, so I’m always up-front about that. If you’re not interested, don’t read my blog. But if you related to what I had to say until you learned I was gay, then maybe homophobia is getting in the way of your judgment.

    I don’t claim to be special, and, yes I realize that some of society frowns on same-sex parenting. That doesn’t change the fact that I’m gay. Frown on it if you want to. I’ll keep being me.

    • Work takes daddies away from their kids,

      Well, this part in point #9 got me a bit confused. Like “Hello? I thought you were writing this as a stay-at-home dad?”
      Then I got to the gay part, and I was like “Oh, okay. There’s the explanation then.”

      Very good and inspirational writing, mr Mahoney.

      • Thanks! I originally wrote this piece for my blog, where most readers are already aware that I’m gay. It wasn’t meant to be a shocking twist or something that confused people. Glad you liked the piece!

  6. Hilarious, I enjoyed this a lot!

  7. Shane Griffin says:

    Great perspective! I laughed out loud the entire way through. Also I have a “Traditional Marriage/Family” and yes your point of view will speak to any parent.We all deal with the same things! Mine is having two or three bites of ice cream in the morning before my boys get up, have even tried to talk to them with a mouth full of ice cream and told them it was a banana . Thanks for your blog!

  8. Hilarious, Shane. I’ve been busted with junk food in my mouth, too, and had to get creative about it.

  9. I love this! I am too young to be a parent yet (well, not too young in reality, too young in my opinion!) But I work with children, and I understand and related to a good amount of it. Great writing! Good luck on the college funds.

  10. Great article; may your kids never learn to read! (kidding, of course…)
    But….can’t a straight dad have this experience? Not clear why segregation was necessary… Black, Jewish, any dad could write that article, non?
    KO

    • Sure, a straight dad could have this experience. I’m just writing about my life. I’m gay, thus the part about us having two dads in our family. When it’s relevant, I put it in. Parenting is parenting, though.

  11. I love this piece! I can identify with almost all of these secrets, especially the one about waiting until the kids are out of sight to shove junk food in my mouth. :) And the secret about paying for college…yep, right there with you. Whenever someone asks all I can say is “I hope my kids are really smart or really talented at sports or both, because that’s how they’re going to pay for college.”

  12. I loved this piece as well. :) The love you have for your family shines through in it!

  13. I love this article so much. It hits home on a million different levels – from the conversation I just had with my 5-year-old about where my father is (“well, he’s dead, sweetie”) to the fact that I marvel as my kid gleefully chomps down corn-on-the-cob even though I never even tried it until I was 30. Thanks for this!

  14. What a great read, I think most of us employed a few of your parenting tricks… I was devastated once my little ones gave up their afternoon naps. I keep a secret store of sour sweets in the hopes that they won’t like them. As a parent with a difference, I draw a lot of attention as I use a wheelchair, which my little guy thinks is really just a vehicle to catch rides on and be spun round in for ring-a-Rosie’s.

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