Five Important Things Women Don’t Know About Men

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About Noah Brand

Noah Brand is an Editor-at-Large at Good Men Project, and possibly also a cartoon character from the 1930s. His life, when it is written, will read better than it lived. He is usually found in Portland, Oregon, directly underneath a very nice hat.


  1. Dear Noah. I truly appreciate what you have written. Thank you for this insight into men. Made me really think and smile in appreciation of the men I have known and how shocked some were when I told them they were beautiful/handsome. I also smiled when I read the description of who you are. Nicely done. Shared on my Twitter and Facebook accounts and I am looking forward to my friends commenting on it.

  2. Well if White Men (the ones in power) granted equal rights to minorities including women then it would be different wouldn’t it? If there are 124 million white women in this country then they should be the most represented and have the largest margin of opportunity by the current ideology. Men are just as superficial as women sometimes worse just about different things so that’s a case by case.

    • why did you just get so defensive? i don’t think there was any blame in this article at all. and your argument is kind of tough to follow

  3. Noah, A friend of mine (woman) drew my attention to this. Generally a lot of favourable comment on the ensuing FB discussion, but dispute of Point 3. I joined late, and added this:

    “Regarding his 3rd para: “There’s a reason for that emotional repression.”

    My quibble is – and it’s a big one – Repression of ‘male energy’ starts a lot earlier than the teen years, and is learned from adults via direct messages (often enforced with violence) – mainly from dads or the nearest surrogate male role model.
    Either I was abnormal, or I experienced the norm: no sudden or even gradual buildup of desire-to-be-violent due to testoserone. NONE.
    What this guy was saying I was like: “Huh? *What*!?”

    Male violence, in my opinion, stems from a sense of being powerless – and that stems from a life-long disempowerment by parents and society – the suppression of our natural masculinity – and more importantly the suppression or more precisely the utter absence of any messages of happy self-acceptance of masculinity. Instead (and I generalise) we learn to feel ashamed both of our strengths (gusto, creativity, messiness, curiosity, etc) and our ‘weaknesses’ (empathy, sadness, delicacy, grace, love of kittens, vulnerability, tears).
    Any violence as teens might better be attributed to the desire to assert SOMETHING into this confusing social landscape. “Where’s the REAL me? I’m becoming a man – but fuck it I’ve no idea what that really is!!”

    The men I know who actively engage with this change, and ‘pay it forward’ to the next generation via initiation retreats and school talk – they do give teen boys a real sense of the answers they seek. Saves a lot of skinned knuckles and court appearances and occasionally funerals.

    I’d like to see him rewrite point 3.”

    (The men I refer to work here in South East Queensland (Brisbane, Australia) . I’ve attended dozens of events here over the years. They’re a good mob. LOT of respect for women and the feminine even as we reclaim and celebrate the masculine. Comfortably aligned with the equivalent women’s network.)

    Cheers, Ged.M


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