No, Really, What Are You Fighting For?

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About Allan Mott

Allan Mott was once accused of being a narcissistic goth lesbian by a disgruntled Amazon reviewer. That pretty much sums up his writing career (which includes 12 and 1/2 books and frequent contributions to such sites as XOJane, XOJaneUK, Canuxploitation, Bookgasm and Flick Attack,). His most personal writing can be found at VanityFear.com, where he uses the subject of B-Movies to mostly talk about boobs and stuff. Tweet him on the Twitter at @HouseofGlib.

Comments

  1. Is it weird that this post made me think about Batman?

    In all seriousness, I agree completely. I think in a lot of cases it boils down to control – people that think of themselves as doing a lot for their cause feel like they have some degree of control over the direction that the cause is going. When someone else shares that cause closely but not completely, there’s a feeling that that control will be lessened or lost, and so it becomes almost competitive.

  2. I clicked on the article you wrote (I didn’t read the comments) and one thing that I didn’t like was how you framed the parallels between women’s experience and your experience as a short man. I don’t think that we ARE fighting the same battle – inequality as experienced by women is different from that experienced by a short man. It is kind of insulting to hear you compare the two in your article as if they are the same.

    • I laid out my case and you are entirely free to reject it (although I would urge you to read the comments–I think you would be surprised by the positive response it received from a majority female audience), but I do question how what I did is insulting. I merely described my experience and compared it to what many women went through. I never negated the discrimination they faced, only suggested it was similar to what I’ve gone through myself. Sadly, I think your comment illustrates the problem described in this post–we’re too concerned about comparing the degree of our oppression to actually focus on how to properly change it.

      • Sadly, I think your comment illustrates the problem described in this post–we’re too concerned about comparing the degree of our oppression to actually focus on how to properly change it.
        Maybe my inner cynic has taken over but to me these days going on about how one oppression doesn’t compare to another has become a proxy for what people really want to say. Sure “x doesn’t compare to y” is what they say but with the way they say it and the way some defend there x so fiercely I think they are saying those words but truly mean, “y has it worse than x”. But since that would trigger the Oppression Olympics too overtly it’s been changed to talking about comparisons.

        In short for example with this case I wonder if Lala is really just trying to say they are different things or trying to admonish you for your comparison because women really do have it worse than short men.

        • I have no problem with her feeling my comparison is mistaken–it’s based on my personal experience and observations, but since she hasn’t lived in my shoes I can understood why she would choose to dismiss what has happened to me as not equivalent. Where I take issue is her insistence that by making this comparison I am insulting women. Nowhere in my post do I suggest that women aren’t oppressed, merely that I have experienced discrimination myself. There is no insult there. I am not taking anything away from anyone. I am just describing what has happened to me and remarking upon the similarities to the experiences of many women I have known and heard from.


          • Where I take issue is her insistence that by making this comparison I am insulting women.

            Which is what I’m trying to get at. Why exactly is this comparison considered an insult to women? I’m offering my thoughts (as speculative as they may be) on it and I think it’s because Lala is coming from a place of “women have it worse”.

            Like I said in my comment above if Lala was just trying to say they are different it would be one thing (as you seem to agree). But if this “insult” is based on ‘but women have it worse, always” then I’m not sure I agree.

    • Mr Supertypo says:

      oh god, why is that insulting Lala?

  3. Richard Aubrey says:

    Allan.
    Two points: One is that if your–anybody’s–oppression is extraordinarily important to you, the idea that anybody else is oppressed reduces the portion of guilt which can be laid on the oppressor. Zero sum.

    I once talked to a clergyman involved in anti-racism work, maybe twenty years ago. He’d done some marching back in the day, but mostly he wrote and preached. He was unguarded enough to say he loved the fight, or words to that effect. What that meant was he couldn’t acknowledge any improvement in race relations because…where would he be? This required him to accuse huge numbers of innocent people of a vile moral crime on a regular basis. That they objected only proved his point, so he was happy.

  4. “You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain.” -Napoleon, Animal Farm

    (… pretty sure I nailed that.)

  5. “I hate Mondays” – Garfield the Cat, Garfield

    (I think he technically stole this from that woman The Boomtown Rats wrote that song about.)

  6. Very thought-provoking, Allan! I am often afraid to speak up about stuff like this because I just don’t have thick enough skin.

    I often wonder what a world without racism or sexism would look like but I’m afraid I can’t even picture it. :/

  7. I have a place picked out on an island – and I would be there in 12 hours.

    Even if nothing changes – I have a place picked out on an island – and I aim to retire there and on the appointed to day to be there in 12 hours.

    Either way, I’ll end up with people who I wish to spend time with and not be bothered with what has gone before or other people who have drifted across my reality – even the nasty – Cyber Stalking and Netopathic one’s .

    The reason for my confusion is this: If a person is truly dedicated to their cause, then shouldn’t they want EVERYONE to be on their side?

    Because for people to see others as equal it means giving up part of themselves. When people have spent so much times making themselves unique in their own eyes … oh you have a better chance of removing a gazelle carcass from a ravening tiger by hand and with no safety systems, than getting an average Joe Or Joanna to give up their own enforced barriers to allow Equality.

    Show me a person who fails to deal with and grasp a basic equality argument and I will show you an Intellectual and emotional miser and pinchfist who you have more chance of getting to land on the moon by flapping a smilie’s angel wings, than getting them to voluntarily remove their personal barriers and walls that make the average bank vault look like a paper bag. !

    I find the Net Fascinating, because in so many ways it’s making people honest and for the first time ever. It’s uncovering so much social psychology to peeps hate to consider they are part off. What is so comical is how the net allows you to see people from so many different angles – how many faces they have in the Social Networking Spheres – and that reveals so much about the barriers that people use to defend the indefensible and their supposed joy at equality … but not their own.

    It’s making it so much easier to have a friends list for that island – which of course aint getting twittered about as I am not interested in the #ObeseSparrowCult.

  8. excellent piece, some people just love to fight for fightings sake

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