No matter what kind of animosity exists between men and women, we must put the guns away, writes Nicole Jonson, and realize we can’t live without one another.
I have lived by this axiom my entire life: good men are everywhere. As a sister, daughter, cousin, co-worker, friend, and wife of 10 years, I become enraged when I hear women say, “there are no good men,” “this is the end of men,” or “we are at war with men.”
Forbes.com is one of my favorite websites. In fact, I made a new friend at the Forbes family: feature writer, Meghan Casserly. I became acquainted with Meghan after I read her recent article, “Why We Need To Stop Bemoaning ‘The End of Men.’” Initially, I found Meghan’s article quite compelling; however, when I reached the final paragraph, I was horrified. It reads:
Let alone the fact that women only hold 3.2% of the top CEO positions and, across the board still earn roughly 79 cents to the dollar. Oh, and we’re still the only ones who can bear children (thanks, science!). The pages of Forbes aren’t yet filled with feminine faces. ForbesWoman still exists. We may be winning some battles of the sexes, but we still haven’t won the war.”
Wait a minute, why is my new Forbes friend bemoaning human anatomy and casting blame on science? Men can’t have babies, and there’s nothing anyone can do about this physiological fact. Newsflash: many women chose to not have children. Meghan, I am one of those women.
And what war? There is not a war between men and women. From my vantage point, there are not battles, bombings, or bloodshed between the sexes. Men and women are not plotting carnage against each other. Furthermore, men are too smart to declare war on women.
Most men understand they can not survive without women. Ladies, can you say the same about men? I hope so. The truth is we would die without each other.
If there is any type of “war” going on it’s the new anti-men movement. To the ladies waging this campaign against men, I’m begging you, please: drop your weapons. You are fighting a losing battle, and ultimately, you are harming yourself and the female gender. Regardless of your sexual orientation, you need men; you can’t live without men. Moreover, I believe a portion of your disdain for men stems from internal strife and discontent.
♦◊♦
After reading Meghan’s article, I immediately alerted my beloved colleagues at The Good Men Project that another stove was stirring the gender pot and serving poached testicles for dinner. Good Men Project founder, Tom Matlack, and columnist, Hugo Schwyzer, have offered their thoughts on Meghan’s Forbes piece. My sentiments lie more with Tom’s position.
Tom states:
I think labels do suck. I think most men in 2011 are decent human beings who are not emasculated by cuddling their kids and doing the dishes (and actually think it’s the best part of their day—read just a sampling of posts here on GMP). The whole idea behind what we are doing here is to be, as men, partners to our wives and husbands. Why the piling on?
Labels are limiting and lugubrious. We label people as a way to contain them, as well as to create a consistent, pre-determined expectation. This is tremendously unfair.
It is common for men and women to be reserved with each other. In general, they are afraid to be vulnerable and reveal their true selves; they have a difficult time discussing emotions and expectations. Given men and women’s propensity to remain guarded and non-communicative, they prejudge.
I believe women have a greater need to prejudge men than men do women. The internal and external inadequacies women feel cause them to attack men. Case in point: Meghan is angry at science (and men) because women are the only ones who can bear children.
To further illustrate my point, here are additional examples: if a woman has become unsuccessful in the dating marketplace, suddenly all men are assholes. If a woman has not received a raise at work, she unequivocally has been suppressed by the paternalistic authority. When a husband doesn’t “pull his weight” at home, he is perceived as lazy and unsupportive.
I would like women to become more self-reflective instead of projecting their personal and professional unhappiness onto men. Perhaps it is something a woman is consciously or unconsciously doing to repel men in the dating marketplace. Maybe women would be paid the same as men if they routinely asked for raises and evaluations. Furthermore, women now have the status, education, and resources to work for themselves or other women. If a woman doesn’t like working for “the man,” start working for women.
When it comes to housekeeping and family life, how many women are expressing their dissatisfaction? How many women are asking their husbands to share the workload? How many women are asking their husbands to attend couples therapy if their needs are not being met? How many women are filing for divorce if they are in a miserable marriage?
I am not giving men a free pass. I agree with Hugo when he states, “Things are getting better, and we should celebrate it. But the work isn’t done yet, either in the home or in the boardroom.” Certain men need to ask themselves these questions: Am I proud of the life I am leading? Am I a good man? Am I worthy of a good woman?
There are groups of men who regularly provide fodder for the writings of Kay Hymowitz and Hanna Rosin. Unfortunately, the man-child and omega male live among us. I’m waiting for all of the good men to become mentors to these men. I know Tom and Hugo are up for the challenge. Who else is ready to join them?
Degrees of inequalities will always exist between the sexes. Ladies, stop fighting this truth. Concentrate on your strengths, and address the internal battle with yourself before declaring men the enemy.
—Photo bitzi ☂ ion-bogdan dumitrescu/Flickr
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“Regardless of your sexual orientation, you need men; you can’t live without men. Moreover, I believe a portion of your disdain for men stems from internal strife and discontent.” – couldn’t agree more. As a young man that can see the new Anti-Male movement going on in the media and society, it’s hard sometimes not to look at women as the enemy. I feel modern leaders in the feminist movement are unmarried, career-driven and/or lesbian women who have little to no affinity towards men. They are shaping laws and society to belittle and make men obsolete; all of this done… Read more »
I think perhaps a beginning step on the road to equality is that feminism has to be about “EQUALITY”, not just “EQUALITY FOR WOMEN”. Women and feminism has a fair amount of political capital in western society , they are spending that capital on things like VAWA, Lilly Ledbetter Act (spelling?), Sexual Harassment laws, Rape shield Laws etc etc and those things are all well and good BUT, feminism is supposed to be about equality for all, or at least so I have been told by mainstream feminists and in fact I have seen it on this site multiple times.… Read more »
I liked and agreed with this article until the final paragraphs where you had to add the dig, “I’m not giving men a free pass”. I don’t get it! Even when women (and men) are trying to champion men, they still seem compelled to placate the feminists who have a need to believe that men are bad and women are good, women are victims and men are perpetrators, men are responsible for the household chores but women don’t have to take care of the lawn chores or the car. And why the hell would ANYONE want to be a CEO,… Read more »
Appeasing feminists is a no-win strategy. It can’t be done anyway AND it accepts the implication that they somehow deserve it.
I agree fully, and I am a progressive woman. I am NOT a feminist, though, I am a humanitarian. I have rarely seen such a show of hatred, chauvinism and gender bias as I’ve seen and witnessed from feminists. While enlightened people of all types are working hard to help humanity by spreading compassion and love, feminists are stuck in the dark ages trying to resurrect a dead corpse to continue their myth of being victims. I always hope that women who are not truly feminists but say they are to be PC will be strong enough to break out… Read more »
Wow. Writing off an entire movement – which fights, essentially, for human rights – because there are some extremists is exactly the same as saying all Muslims are terrorists and all men are asshole-misogynists. For someone who – I assume – is proclaiming to be part of the “enlightened crowd” you’re doing a lot of non-loving and doling out a lot of non-compassion. I am a proud existential feminist and I do a LOT of introspection – along with other feminists I know – on my “OWN stuff” in order to conduct myself in the most humanitarian way possible. That,… Read more »
Simone, The problem is that the radicals in the feminist movement are not “just” some bad apples. When we talk about feminists who hate men we are not talking about the radical fringe, but rather it’s radical CORE. If you don’t think there is a relationship between this radical core of feminists stating man-hating is good: ht tp://ballbuster4ever.wordpress.com/2011/11/08/on-hate/#more-973 and NOW and WEAVE convincing Obama to re-direct his $800billion stimulus for shovel ready jobs to female-friendly industries (despite men having double the unemployment of women) for no better reason than they are “against helping men” and THIS ht tp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Vq6njtmU7g Sharon Osbourne… Read more »
“Wow. Writing off an entire movement – which fights, essentially, for human rights –”
Which one, feminism? Come on….nobody buys that anymore. It ended when feminists have won the right to have some influence on laws and policies. Powerful organisations like NOW are clearly anti male.
At the moment, it is the MRM what fights for human rights, along the radical thought that men are also humans.
I would love to know where feminists in western society are fighting for HUMAN right and not just womens rights. I see plenty of press, blogs and other sources about womens right, even going so far as to create mass discrimination (pay gap) where is at worst , very little and perhaps even statistically none. DV laws, that almost entirely exclude male victims, even though most scientific studies point to a fairly large amount of male victims. Where is all the funding to research and come up with solutions to male specific diseases when those illnesses kill as many men… Read more »
The original feminist movement had an admirable goal–to address sexual inequalities in our society that were holding women back and denying them opportunities. The current feminist movement is quite different. It’s a political advocacy group that focuses on obtaining benefits and privileges for women in all areas regardless of fairness or justice. It makes no mention of equality. There is still a need for egalitarianism in the U.S. There are still repressive gender roles and unjust societal expectations that affect both men AND women. More work needs to be done to liberate all people and achieve freedom and justice. But… Read more »
Unfortunately, the man-child and omega male live among us. I’m waiting for all of the good men to become mentors to these men. I know Tom and Hugo are up for the challenge. Who else is ready to join them?
Unfortunate for whom? “men-children”(a peculiar term) seem quite happy with what they are doing. Why are they unfortunate?
Also, that mentoring should be imposed on omega men is odd. If Omega men want mentoring, they can find it. The beauty of the net allows men to help other men in forums.
The notion that men pursuing their own interests and lives outside of societal expectations (and women’s requirements) are somehow “immature and childish” is a common one. It is, of course, entirely false, but that’s typical shaming behavior. The only irony is that when _women_ pursue their own lives and interests, they’re praised and celebrated.
No, it’s not the MGTOW who are “unfortunate;” it’s those who saw their own expectations and demands not being met and know there’s nothing they can do about it.
Since I’m not a “lady” (a term used to delineate between women who deserve respect and women who don’t), this piece doesn’t speak to me at all. In fact, I find the headline subtly offensive.
The whole phenomenon of non-parallelism between “ladies and men” (the appropriate parallel is “ladies and gentlemen”) when the appropriate terminology is women and men is part of the subtle language reinforcement of the idea that only SOME women deserve respect, whereas ALL men do.
No, feminists believe that only WOMEN deserve respect while any man that does not act to a feminist’s liking does NOT deserve respect. You are the perfect stereotype of a feminist that can’t see anything but female victimization all over the place, even while your brothers in the world are suffering alongside of you. I have rarely met a feminist that respects men as a whole or extends compassion to them, but I meet men everyday who are loving, compassionate and respecting of women including some men who seem to be ashamed to be alive, trying to cater to feminist’s… Read more »
Wow, LAC, are you a medium?
You sure did manage to learn a lot about me via a critique of linguistic inaccuracy (that subtly reinforces sexism). Or are they just assumptions? B/c you know what it means to ASS U ME means, right?
Being a feminist who believes that everyone deserves respect until they do something to lose it, I am at least one example that proves your comments wrong.
And WHO is getting defensive?
“men who seem to be ashamed to be alive, trying to cater to feminist’s polarized, contradictory demands of men.”
This is a sadly common mistake. Trying to appease feminists involves accepting the premise that men are responsible for women’s problems and have an obligation to make women happy. Neither is true.
“I would like women to become more self-reflective instead of projecting their personal and professional unhappiness onto men.”
We can only hope. They even have a political movement and “academic” discipline based on scapegoating men.
Well, folks I guess I will see you later, I am getting moderated out of existence. None of my posts are making it past moderation.
I’m not seeing your comments in moderation queue, Janet. A few of mine totally disappeared as well, quite benign ones. I’ll talk to Lisa and look into it.
I am with Julie and Nikki on this one. I enjoyed these articles immensely but what I am hearing – and maybe I’m hearing wrong like Nikki – is a re-packaged post-post-modernism i.e. “we live in a post-racist, post-sexist society.” That isn’t true. I think there is a “battle” (to return to this war language we all dislike so much) occurring over third-wave feminism right now between a maybe more popular-culture “anti-men” (and its backlash) campaign and a more academic existential feminism campaign. I, personally, much prefer the latter and I think there needs to be a push to understand… Read more »
Thank you, Simone!
Great points – love the discussion!
I agree with SImone as well. I have a detailed response that I believe is going up today in GMP, but in essence, we need to be very careful of our language, as words do hurt. Attacking feminists and feminism isn’t going to solve problems, just as attacking men and masculinity won’t. Each person needs to take responsibility as in individual for their individual role in their own life. However groups also need to take responsibility for the actions and behaviors of their group. I am not a man-bashing feminist, I am a man-loving feminist. But I recognize that feminism… Read more »
Yes! Thank you, Joanna. I am looking forward to reading your response. “Each person needs to take responsibility as in individual for their individual role in their own life. However groups also need to take responsibility for the actions and behaviors of their group.” This is a really fascinating intellectual point that has really far reaching practical implications as well, particularly in the realm of sexist and racist narratives. How does one or does a society go from individual responsibility to group responsibility. Do we legislate it? Do we all “promise to do better” and hope that this leads to… Read more »
Joanna, thank you for your feedback. I truly appreciate your professionalism and position. As I mentioned to Julie Gillis, I would love to have an in-person round table discussion with you, Julie, Lisa, Tom, Hugo, and Meghan Casserly on this topic. I sincerely believe that every writer at The Good Men Project is helping everyone (including each other) grow and evolve on a personal and professional level. I feel blessed to be a part of a company that allows us to challenge ourselves and each other on a daily basis. Additionally, I feel extremely blessed to live in a country… Read more »
“Attacking feminists and feminism isn’t going to solve problems, just as attacking men and masculinity won’t. ”
They are not analogous. Feminists =/= women. A better analogy would be feminists and male chauvinists or other tradtitonalists.
Feminists speak for themselves, not women in general. Likewise with maculists / Men’s Rights Activists (MRA) and men in general.
The majority of women reject feminism, and the majority of men haven’t even heard of MRA’s.
Most of us just see a sea of humanity, both male and female, collectively grappling with issues, not the stark gender-battle lines that feminists and MRA’s have drawn.
Eric, I enjoy your posts and agree with about 98% of what you say. However, I don’t think your parallel between feminists and MRA’s is accurate. MRA’s arose because of the excesses of feminism that negatively affect or marginalize men’s issues. I think a more accurate comparison would be feminists and male chauvinists. Both are groups who A) think themselves superior and B) point to the results of a stacked system to tout their superiority and C) revel in their privilege. It’s funny that you say you’re not an MRA. You sound just like one. If you are concerned about… Read more »
Labels are limiting and lugubrious. We label people as a way to contain them, as well as to create a consistent, pre-determined expectation. This is tremendously unfair.
I believe women have a greater need to prejudge men than men do women. The internal and external inadequacies women feel cause them to attack men.
You bemoan the unfairness of labels, and then you immediately proceed to label. Does this not strike you as contradictory, Nicole?
@Kirsten – Thank you for your comment, Kirsten! Per your suggestion, I’m not labeling. I am making a social observation. There is a sharp dichotomy between labeling verses observing then opining on that observation.
Okay, what is the difference?
I’m sure we could go back-and-forth about this all day, Kirsten ,-) I appreciate your position; however, I am not stereotyping or pigeonholing all women into the aforementioned category. From a personal and professional standpoint, I am making an educated, informed observation about our society.
It seems to me that you are making a selective observation based on your personal experiences, but trying to extrapolate that to society in general.
OK. So…. are we saying that sexism is over? See, I am having a hard time with these posts. On one hand, I completely agree. I don’t appreciate labels, or lumping everyone into one box, or using some kind of weird gender line in the sand (which is all wonky anyway) to say who is right and who is wrong. I am against men-bashing as much as I am against women-hating. I am against casting blame and throwing stones – especially along per-conceived lines of gender, sexuality, race, religion, class, etc etc etc. I also wholeheartedly agree that there are… Read more »
I am against men-bashing as much as I am against women-hating Sorry, but I read your blog, and if a man doesn’t immediately show you whatever form of attention you feel you deserve, you label him a coward. In fact, just about every blogger in your network does this. The men who reject the blogger all are cowards who are threatened or intimidated by the blogger’s sexual prowess, intellect, education, success, etc. Please. The amount of male bashing and shaming that goes on on all of those blogs is ridiculous. You all chime in and tell the blogger exactly what… Read more »
@NikkiB, you are not wrong in hearing what you’re hearing. I’m hearing it, too. Somehow talking about patriarchy and sexism is being equated to a “War on Men.” It’s not. I’m not sure why talking about working toward equality is an indictment of all men. It’s not. Anyway, thanks for your posts; they are great. Let’s keep the conversation going. You’re asking some great questions.
Because in many cases it removes responsibility from women and blames the men. I’ve read very few feminist blogs which put responsibility on women, and many seem to try blame men for bad female behaviour. Furthermore it denies the possibility of women having any form of privilege, always swings back to how women suffer, eg the current climate of pedophile hysteria men face when trying to enter childcare, women viewed as safer. Females have the privilege and power in areas of childcare, they make the majority of childcare roles, the majority of fulltime carers but this is attributed to women… Read more »
Excellent post Jun
“OK. So…. are we saying that sexism is over? ”
No, it’s alive and well. The female sentencing discount, the unequal incarcerarion rates, the imbalances in child custody awards, the reluctance of law enforcement even to record let alone act on rape accusations from male victims, the lack of DV shelters for men, the legal discrimination written into DV laws,this sociey’s tolerance of Male Genital Mutilation, etc. etc. are proof that sexism is alive and well in this society and that Damsels can rely on White Knights to keep it going.
Men and women are different. That’s not something science needs to fix; it’s something society needs to accommodate. That men can’t have babies is not the fault of society. Somebody has to have some babies, someone needs to take care of them, and we need to support the people who do that work, as a society, or what we get is another generation of emotionally starved latchkey children. It’s not good enough to say that if you’d rather have a high-powered career, then don’t have babies. Your anecdotes to the contrary, not everyone thinks that “all x are jerks” when… Read more »
@ Justin – Thank you for your feedback; I appreciate your perspective.
I appreciate wanting there not to be a war, butI think this phrase is perhaps a bit overused at this point. Iraq? That was a war. I dislike the whole model of seeking equity as a war. I’m not a soldier, I dislike violence, I don’t enact it on my friends, male or female. I understand there are people out there who do enjoy the war like approach, but it’s not for me. Make love, not war, I say! I’m not even a true child of the 60’s! But I will say it seems simplistic to say that equity happens… Read more »
@ Julie – Fantastic point: So where is all the anxiety coming from? It’s not a matter of “ladies don’t declare war.” Its a matter of “People, how can we be more equal, more loving, more fair? How can gender equity help men? How can men get more out of life WHILE women get more out of life?” Hugo and I had an exchange about this “war” on my Facebook page last night. Here is one on of my responses: I will always be eternally grateful for the Feminist revolution; I am a direct by-product of Feminism. I would NEVER… Read more »
“Yes, the current system is still biased in favor of men, but women now have status, education, and resources to circumvent this bias.” Truth be told, American society no longer favors men but favors women. In fact, women live 7 years longer than men, now graduate from college in higher proportions than men, have more money devoted to women’s diseases like breast cancer vs. men’s prostate cancer, declare they want equality yet only when it benefits them as evidenced by their lack of desire to share the burden of paying for dates or initiate dates or even serve in combat,… Read more »
Great piece Nicole. Here is an interesting email I got yesterday from a writer friend: “It just seems to me that if men want to hear what’s wrong with them, especially from women, there is an entire array of magazines and other venues for just that purpose. Sometimes, I think, men are actually OK just as they are, and the one thing they need to work on is the ability to tell and articulate their own stories about the challenges they face as men in their lives after a lifetime of being sneered at, in one way or another, or… Read more »
Thank you, Tom, and thank you for sharing your friend’s email. I don’t think anyone should have to “take it” or shut up about their feelings or their needs. I also think your friend is spot-on. I believe most men are okay with who they are, and they need to get better at articulating their stories and challenges.
Dear Nicole,
it is part of our maleness to take it. Never forget that fact.
It’s the WMD that get me – those Weapons Of Male Destruction. Female Argues all men bad and there she is throwing around her version of WMD. Male Argues that he is not as represented and he is accused of throwing WMD back. It seems both sides have WMD – and yet each time I go hunting, use intelligence and tip offs as to where these WMD can be found, how they are made, what is in them and even who has been supplying the parts from all over the globe – it turns out the WMD are a fiction.… Read more »
@ MediaHound – I love your point: Conflict is not all bad – but it does come in a box with one simple instruction – “Handle With Care!”
Men and women should be kind and empathetic to each other in general, but especially during times of conflict.
Nicole – it’s not just at times of conflict. Recently I was asked by a couple to mediate a war zone that I had apparently witnessed – One side insisted that a conversation had taken place – the other side insisted it never took place. Both insisted I could prove one or the other correct. I was visiting, speaking to one person – other person sitting in living room. Person one leaves me, goes to living room, asks a question that was rhetorical – and because they got no answer believed that a positive answer had been provided. The person… Read more »
“if a woman has become unsuccessful in the dating marketplace, suddenly all men are assholes. ” I think this is a great observation. In the turnaround, men have started doing this too, nowadays. If they can’t get a date, have been left by a woman, or have gotten rejected, it’s not because of anything they’ve done or haven’t done. It’s not because of a lack of chemistry, sexual compatibility, or love–it’s because women are alpha-male seeking missiles who step on nice guys just to dig gold…and be slut-bitches…and shop…and stuff. And like you said–if a man isn’t interested in being… Read more »
“if a woman has become unsuccessful in the dating marketplace, suddenly all men are assholes.”
This funny to me, because the converse is “If a man has become unsuccessful in the dating marketplace, suddenly all women go for assholes and have no time for Mr. Nice Guy.”
Yep, that’s the same thing! Saying all women go for assholes is an accusation that they are stupid or self-destructive.
I find a lot of male-bashing so silly that I just have to laugh at it.
Sometimes I get a little offended if I hear something misandrist directed at me. In those cases, I just tell the person I think male-bashing is cute (or sexy, depending on who it is). When I say that, it usually stops immediately and that person never says anything like that to me again. It’s just me making an “I” statement about myself, lending my voice, relating my experience to others in conversation with me….
Yes, we have to find some humor in all of this or we’d all go crazy!! However, at times, I believe men and women should step in for themselves (and each other) when the bashing becomes malicious, excessive, or debilitating. I also believe that men and women have the ability to empower each other everyday. Everyone would be stronger (and happier) if they sincerely supported the other.
I agree in theory, but where it winds up becoming challenging in action is….say I work for a conservative man with a very traditional family values perspective (easy to imagine in Texas). He has a value system which may be in conflict with mine. Perhaps a woman works as a secretary and does a great job, but he often mentions how she should start having babies (I’ve actually witnessed this), or she applies for a job but is gently told that she’s not management material and a man younger than her gets the job (witnessed this too). It’s entirely possible… Read more »
Sorry, posted too quickly. I am able to work with those very different people because I’m able to empathise and realize where they might be, I listen to them and do honor where they are. In the cases above, I wasn’t directly affected by the decision making. But I could see how frustrating it was for the woman involved. It is easy to accuse of sexism, it’s harder to figure out how to shift someone’s thinking to allow for a new story, one in which babies are not the end all be all for a young secretary, or where it… Read more »
It isn’t just frustrating when this kind of thing happens; it’s legally defined discrimination, and we need to root it out. What usually winds up happening is the smart young woman leaves Texas, or at least moves to Austin, and works for someone who values her likely contributions as a worker and manager rather than only being able to value her for her presumed reproductive potential. It’s called “brain drain” and it’s why even conservative businesses like my husband’s (he’s in finance, and his company is based in the rural west) are actively promoting a baseline of acceptable conduct around… Read more »
You are right of course Justin. My post was aiming less about law, but you are absolutely right.
@ Julie – Thank you so much for all of your feedback! I would LOVE to have an in-person round table discussion with you, Lisa, Tom, Hugo, and Meghan Casserly on this topic.
I would too. I appreciate in person conversation very much.
“When it comes to housekeeping and family life, how many women are expressing their dissatisfaction? How many women are asking their husbands to share the workload?” That’s only half the issue. I want to know how many women are willing to come to terms with the fact that their standards of housework may be unreasonable. (I was going to say “insane” instead of “unreasonable,” but that seemed overly harsh.) I want to know how many are willing to compromise in seeing housework as something that has to be balanced with other parts of life. Instead of asking your husband to… Read more »
Should come down to negotiated and mutually agreed upon expectations. Seems like that’s hard to do.
@ Julie & @ Anonymous –
Anonymous, I agree with you. Spouses, partners, and parents should always make room for the possibilities. People should be willing to make accommodations and adjustment in their relationship and parenting style. Also, housekeeping preferences and parenting preferences should be discussed before either happens.
Julie, I agree! It should come down to negotiated and mutually agreed upon expectations. If someone does not know what the expectation of them is, how can they possibly deliver on the expectation. Communication is the cornerstone for all relationships – personal and professional.
I have been the stay-home dad to our two kids for many years. Most of the time, I am responsible for meals, laundry, dishes, school, etc. As a man, I am constantly assaulted with the notions of ignorant people who think that just because their dad is the primary caregiver, that they are constantly wearing mismatched, unclean clothes, eating junk food for meals, rude, and so on. My kids always wear clean clothes and their socks actually match, ladies. What a concept! I cook three meals almost every day; always breakfast and lunch. Half the time my wife makes dinner.… Read more »
Thanks for the counterpoint. I was totally put off by Anonymous’s assumptions that all women are type-A perfectionists and all men are sloppy losers.
Absolutely Ok K. I’m a single mom and an absent-minded scientist. My daughter’s socks don’t always match. Our apartment is often a mess, and we frequently have pancakes for dinner.
Most of the men I’ve dated are neater and are better cooks then I am. There is a continuum of “male” and ‘female” traits that anonymous seems not to be aware of.
A refreshing perspective. Hugo Schwyzer, Michael Kimmel, Michael Flood, NOMAS and SPSSM take note…ladies.