Do All Narcissists Cheat?

If you’ve ever dated a narcissist, you already know they’ll take you on an emotional rollercoaster. They’ll love-bomb you, put you on the highest pedestal, and then devalue you. While narcissists are known to move onto other people, there’s a bigger question you may be wondering.

Do all narcissists cheat? Let’s take a closer look at what research has shown and the reality behind narcissists and cheating.

What the Science Says

Studies have found that people with narcissistic traits tend to be more prone to cheating. But there are more factors at play than narcissism.

For example, a study found that narcissists with an insecure attachment style were more prone to cheating.

Those with sexual narcissism were also found to be more likely to have an affair, according to another study. Since their entitlement and self-importance manifest through their sexual relationship, these types of narcissists are more prone to cheating.

On the other hand, there have been multiple studies that have not found a link between narcissism and cheating. One study found that narcissism was the weakest predictor of infidelity. The researchers noted that cheating that appears to be due to narcissism actually is usually due to psychopathy and machiavellianism instead.

While some studies have found a link between narcissists and cheating, research does not support the fact that all narcissists cheat.

Why Some Narcissists Turn to Cheating

Some narcissists may be more prone to cheating because they crave attention and supply. By new supply, we’re referring to new sources of attention (e.g. new potential romantic partners).

They grow tired of getting their validation from the same partners they’ve had for a while. Their routine tends to get boring, and having someone new to feed their ego and provide the attention and admiration they require can feel thrilling.

Narcissists also lack empathy. They don’t register the weight of their betrayal on their partner the same way other people do. This makes them less likely to register how morally wrong infidelity can be.

Narcissists also don’t take accountability for their own actions. If they get caught cheating, they will turn themselves into the victims — and blame their partner’s actions for causing them to cheat in the first place. The narcissist is never the one in the wrong, and they will never feel guilt about cheating.

Some Narcissists Stay Loyal Because of Their Narcissism

This might seem surprising, but narcissism can also be the reason why some don’t cheat.

They don’t want to lose a significant other who supplies them with attention or who is otherwise meeting their needs (e.g. financial stability).

Some narcissists won’t cheat because they don’t want to destroy their image. They care so much about what others think about them. They wouldn’t want their peers viewing them in a negative light.

For some narcissists, the reason they stay loyal isn’t because they love their partners. It’s because they love themselves.

Narcissists May Ghost You Instead of Cheating

Some narcissists demand the supply of attention from new partners. Rather than cheating, they end up ghosting their significant other for the new supply.

While this may be preferable to cheating, ghosting is also hurtful. But since the narcissist lacks empathy, they don’t recognize (or ignore) the pain it causes to the person they’re ghosting.

The Bottom Line

While narcissists may be more prone to cheating and are less likely to feel guilt when they do cheat, not every narcissist is a cheater.

Regardless of cheating, narcissists can put you through so many other types of abuse. It might be challenging to trust the narcissist. If this is the case, you might want to reevaluate the relationship.

At the end of the day, you deserve someone you can trust fully — and who doesn’t subject you to any abuse or manipulation.

—

This post was previously published on medium.com.