My Friend Got Diagnosed With Cervical Cancer and I’m Mad at Myself

Two weeks ago, I got a call from a friend. She said to me “Belinda, I’m just leaving the hospital and I’ve been diagnosed with cervical cancer”. I was in so much shock, I could barely say a word.

This might sound unbelievable but before now, no one I know had ever been seriously ill, how much more, being diagnosed with a serious sickness such as Cancer.

As she spoke on the phone, she just couldn’t stop crying. She kept saying “so this is how I’m going to die”?

Hearing my friend say those defeating words, broke me but I knew I had to be strong for her. I said to her, ‘No you are not going to die. You are strong and you’d surely survive this’. Even though at that moment I was scared out of my mind, I never let it show.

Instead, I tried to calm her down and get her to explain everything.

According to her, she had been having lower back pains but she never suspected anything serious — she just assumed it was as a result of lack of exercise. Then as the pain got worse she went to get a proper test. That was the moment she got the bad news.

Luckily for her, it was still at its early stage but unfortunately, she had no money for the hospital bills to get it out. And here in my country health insurance isn’t something that’s common.

I knew I didn’t have much to give to her so I decided to encourage her to go to her church. At first, she was reluctant to go because she was too nervous to ask the church for help. According to her, she didn’t think the church would assist her but I assured her they had to and offered to accompany her there.

When we got to the church and spoke to the clergy about it, he claimed the church was too occupied with other projects to be of help to my friend. Seeing the sadness in my friend’s eyes was one of the worse feelings I had ever felt.

There was no way I was going to take “no” for an answer so I persisted. I expressed to the clergy that even though I’m not really a “church person”, I thought helping members in need should be a major duty of the church since offerings are being given almost on a daily basis by the same members. Afterward, the clergy managed to give her about a quarter of the bill.

Now we were to come up with the rest of the money but we didn’t know where else to get it from. And as I said, I had nothing on me at that moment but I just couldn’t standby and do nothing.

At this point, my friend was already losing all hopes of getting the complete money for the surgery. I kept encouraging her to have faith and try to see things in a more positive light. But honesty, I too was scared.

Standing in front of me was a young girl who’s being faced with a life-threatening illness and there I was telling her everything was going to be just fine. How do I know everything is going to be fine when she doesn’t even have enough money to have the surgery?

“I Don’t Have” Isn’t A Good Enough Excuse

2 weeks ago I was on the phone with her and we were talking about how she went to most of the people she knew for help but got nothing from them. According to her, they all said, they had no money— which I believe because clearly, these are difficult times we’re in. I just wished they could have done something, anything.

Our friends should be able to count on us for help. It’s never okay to say you don’t have anything to support a friend. Giving the slightest $1 or just simply showing up for the people in our lives could go a really long way. Sometimes it’s not even the big things that matter it’s the little acts of kindness.

No act of kindness, no matter how small, is wasted. ― Aesop

Personally, it killed me that I couldn’t assist more. I was mad at myself for not being financially stable enough to help her with the bills. But I knew that having no money wasn’t a good enough excuse to do nothing. So, I decided I was going to be there for her in every other way I could.

I gave her the little I had. Also, l helped raise funds for the surgery from everyone I knew via my foundation. Fortunately, she had the surgery just last week and doing quite fine.

Take Away

Stop Procrastinating — Time Waits For No One

Have you ever had this thought; “What if I, a family member or a dear friend is in great need of money for something very important, what do I do”?

These are questions I’ve asked myself this numerous times, and it s**ks because I know the answer, and it’s quite unpleasant.

If not for anything this is why we must work towards achieving financial freedom. Because in as much as being lazy or settling for less is less stressful than working towards achieving wealth, it’s just not worth losing our lives or a loved one to poverty.

It’s time to start making steps towards bigger achievements because being poor is one of the greatest risks of all time.

In as much as wishful thinking is common with humans, wishful thinking will get us nowhere. Start working to achieve financial freedom, so you could be a blessing to those you love.

Thanks for reading.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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