Exit the Hellish Gates of Social Media Stalking

We all are tempted to check the social media of an ex. We want to know what’s happening in their life. What starts as an innocent check on their social media page soon spirals into a plethora of feelings involving self-doubt, sadness, undermining our own life, and a general feeling of lacking something.

Your present situation in life determines how you react to their activity. If you are happy with everything in life, then the urge to stalk reduces and you feel a sense of satisfaction that you have finally moved on. On the other hand, if you are not in a happy place, then the stalking can harm you more than you think. You check their new photos, you find that they have moved on. They have a new partner, a new house, a new car, a new job, a beach vacation. You wonder if you could ever be as happy, you wonder if they were ever as happy with you, and the list goes on.

Social media stalking can be totally avoided. It takes determination and perseverance to do this. Just as you put effort into achieving your goals, you have to put the effort into overcoming this self-destructive habit.

1. Block their accounts

This is the best way to stop checking their accounts. Block them on every social media account you follow them on. The sudden discontinuation of your stalking habit may leave you with a feeling of longing, an urge to check it just one more time. You need to be strong and let this not get back to them. This way, you are also letting the other person know that you are on moving on and this will give you a sense of accomplishment. It’s a small step but you are on your way to come out of this habit.

2. Reduce social media time

Do not check your social media too often. Use app timers, block all the app notifications, use focus mode/ zen mode on your phone. Log out of the application after you have used it for a while. If you can, uninstall the application. This way, you will not check your account. You will not believe how productive you can get once you reduce your social media time.

3. Rebuild a forgotten hobby

Go back to your childhood and remember what you enjoyed the most. Was it painting or was it reading or was it cooking. As an adult, we forget our hobbies and the joy that brought us as a child. Revisit with your childhood memories and start all over again. Once you begin, you’ll realize how much good you are at this and the drive to become better at it will come naturally to you. If you love painting, showcase your work on your accounts. Words of encouragement from loved ones will make you forget the past. If you love reading, join book clubs, discuss it with your peers, write reviews, write your learning. Use social media for the better and leverage the platform for your own wellness than delving into past relations.

The possibilities that can emerge once you love doing what you do are endless. Don’t hold yourself back.

4. Rekindle the old friendships

Your childhood best friend, your best co-worker who moved to another city, a cousin you grew up playing with; reconnect with people you are familiar with. Talking to a long-lost friend can be therapeutic and they remind you of all the reasons why you are loved. Talk about all the cherished and fun memories you have together. Plan on meeting up, go out for long lunches, take a vacation together.

All the while you are with someone you love, you forget the need to open social media and check someone’s account. You are meant to build happy and lasting memories with people that matter.

5. Get that closure and move on

Getting closure can be difficult. Sometimes, the other person doesn’t want to talk, they don’t want to have a final talk where you both come on agreeable terms. A lot of times you are left with questions unanswered. You look for an apology, you look for admittance of wrongdoings, you look for a word of concern from them, but you just yearn and are left with nothing.

Closures can be tough to achieve. But are not impossible. There is no one way to bring closure. Try writing letters to them detailing how you feel and then tear them apart. Try holistic approaches like meditation/yoga to clear your mind. Work on yourself, find your weaknesses, and improve them. Take a professional’s help. The more you are obsessed with improving yourself, the less you care about people who don’t matter.

Final Words

Social Media stalking can be toxic and self-destructive. The urge to constantly check on your ex can hamper your peace of mind. You finally stop the need to check when you have fully moved on. Moving on doesn’t always mean finding a new partner. Moving on can also mean you care less and less about people who are no longer in your life.

At the end of each day, remind yourself of just one thing. You deserve the best.

—

Previously Published on medium

***

You Might Also Like These From The Good Men Project

Compliments Men Want to Hear More Often

Relationships Aren’t Easy, But They’re Worth It

The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex

..A Man’s Kiss Tells You Everything

—

Photo credit: by Jackson David on Unsplash