8 Unexpected Ways To Keep the Spark in a Relationship

Doesn’t it feel like every one of your relationships eventually heads towards the same trajectory? First, you can’t get enough of the other person. Each time you break through another barrier of theirs, you feel a sense of trust and bond. Then the excitement calms rapidly. You get used to or even repelled by one another. No matter how much in love you two were, proximity and familiarity eventually wear you two down.

Similar to Mr. & Mrs. Smith, a little danger within a relationship can open up a whole new world. So I’ve compiled 8 different ways to wake up slumbering old couples below. Let’s see.

Uncertainty

You hate not knowing if your partner is falling out of love with you or if they’re doing anything shady behind your back. But it’s this very anxiety that makes you feel like there’s something on the line. Uncertainty breeds attraction. This reward/punishment drives you insane but also excites and motivates you.

Fighting

Arguing about everything and nothing is problematic. But a moderate amount of confrontation is necessary for a relationship. It means there’s open communication. The two of you can express your thoughts and frustration truthfully. A good balance of affection and disagreement serves as Yin and Yang.

Jealousy

Too much jealousy will ruin a relationship. But a little shows that not only do they care about losing you, but that you have options and they have no leverage to take you for granted. You would desire your partner more if you found out others also want them, wouldn’t you?

Distance

Distance creates beauty. The pandemic has shown us how the lack of personal space can destroy personal relationships. It’s nice to hang out with the other people in your life. To do things and go places by yourself. To not only have a life of your own but also withdraw from your partner a bit so that they’ll feel the void you leave when you aren’t present in their life.

Rejection

Relationships get old really fast when someone takes you for granted. Say no more often. Leave them feeling like they still have to put in the effort to earn your love and respect.

Mystery

Your partner knows too much about you already. You’re becoming more boring by the day. It’s okay to keep little secrets about your daily life here and there. You don’t have to tell them exactly what’s on your mind 24/7. Keep them guessing.

Drama

This is the lifeline of any relationship. Without the ups and downs and unexpected events, the relationship becomes nothing but two people marking time together. I don’t condone cheating, betrayal, or selfish behaviors. However, stability turns into staleness. It’s the bad days that give value to the good days. It’s the tears that give joy to the smiles. Drama makes a relationship less bland.

Newness

This goes without saying. What new faces, places, or activities can you add to your relationship from time to time to keep things fresh? The two of you will change as individuals. The dynamic will shift. So everything surrounding you two should be refreshed as well.

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Think about romance movies. The more conflict, the harder the couple falls in love. It’s this feeling of not firmly holding on to a person and relationship that raises your interest level — as long as it’s done in moderation.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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