Watch Out for That Hot Guy

A young woman was minding her own business at a park when a gorgeous man showed up. He’d just had a run in the heat and stopped a few feet away by his truck, to wipe himself off with a towel.

Then to her shock, he peeled off his shirt, right in front of her. With a grin, he grabbed a bucket from his truck and slowly dumped ice water over his head. She tried not to look as the water streamed down his muscular body. But she couldn’t stop.

It was like a scene out of a movie. Yes, this is the kind of guy many of us dream about — tall, handsome, and muscular. But does he truly make a great boyfriend?

Once a woman sets her sight on a man like this, she’s in for some serious competition. Because if he’s good-looking and knows it, be assured he has a harem of women surrounding him. And a guy like this is going to expect his girl to be as hot as he is. A woman who loves him is going to feel insecure because he will always have the upper hand.

Unless they were only looking for a one-night stand, an off-balanced relationship is a recipe for disaster.

A study from Florida State University showed that women who weren’t as attractive as their partners spent a lot of time trying to lose weight. They felt insecure by their partner’s better looks and tried dieting to become more attractive.

Why did these women think they needed to lose weight to become more attractive to their partners? Studies conclude that men prefer thinner women. One study showed that a woman’s peak attractiveness to men is when their BMI is between 18.4 and 21.4. For a 5 foot 2 woman, that means her weight range would have to be between 101 and 117 pounds. That’s a lot of pressure and unrealistic for women, especially ones that have born children.

If you want to this bias against overweight women in action, check out this video on YouTube. Jordan is clearly a beautiful girl, but she’s overweight. The girls ranked her higher, but when the men came to rank her, they moved her to the least attractive position.

Who needs all that pressure to be perfect? Is being with the most good-looking guy worth all that pressure?

Women don’t have to jump through hoops to be happy in love. There are plenty of men out there that aren’t drop-dead gorgeous. They have a nice smile, they’re smart, and they have an average physique. Those are the guys that shouldn’t be overlooked.

These guys don’t expect a runway model for a girlfriend. They’re attracted to the pretty girl next door — like many of us. They’re looking for someone that they can build a life. They’re looking for someone real.

When women chase after these perfect men, they’re going to spend a lot of lonely nights. Ideally, they should wait for the one who is into them. Of course, we should never date someone we have no attraction for — but we shouldn’t hold out for perfection either. Our ideal match is a little less perfect, a little more human. But he’s the perfect one for us.

And in the case where a woman snags the hot guy that everyone wants, who is into her? She should watch out. She should make sure he isn’t full of himself because that will never work. Better a handsome guy who doesn’t know how amazing he really is. He will be a better partner because he’ll feel lucky to have his woman in his life. And that will make her feel beautiful.

Both people in a relationship should be evenly yoked, and secure in their feelings for each other. If they are both stunningly gorgeous human beings, then they’ll be a match. One of them won’t feel insecure because they know they are just as hot as their partner.

It’s the same for men too

This same scenario goes for men who date gorgeous model types. If she is a raving beauty and knows that she’s hotter than him, she’ll be a nightmare to deal with. He’ll always feel insecure, thinking the next guy with more muscles or a larger bank account, will steal her away from him.

That being said, still many men would prefer to have a more attractive partner. They’re willing to take the risk. Yet this beautiful partner will always keep him on his toes. He’ll have to treat her very well to keep her. He’ll always know he’s lucky to be in her life. And maybe that just might be a recipe for a happier union — especially for the woman in that scenario.

I know stunning women with average partners who treat them so well, they’re always smiling. One of them has a boyfriend who gives her beautiful jewelry every year on her birthday, that all her friends drool over. Another’s husband used to send a magnificent bouquet to her at work. All the other women were jealous. They secretly wished they’d get flowers too.

Yet, the woman who dated the hot guy was cheated on and treated like she was easily replaceable. He would have never even thought to tell her how beautiful she was, or how much she meant to him. He never took her out to a beautiful restaurant or surprised her with flowers. He made her feel like she was nothing to him.

Don’t choose someone who makes you feel inferior

Dating is hard enough on us. We shouldn’t make it worse by aiming for people that will make us feel inferior to them.

Let’s keep our hearts open to those less than perfect human beings who love being with someone like us. Let’s choose someone we have an equal and mutual attraction with.

So the next time we see a perfect 10 showing off his handsome and incredible physique, let’s not feel guilty for taking a long look. Yet, for our own good, we must be realistic and let the hot guy remain an indulgent fantasy.

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This post was previously published on Medium.

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