After a breakup, many people go through the same emotions and phases. This is an opportunity for you to learn more about yourself and what you want in life.
It’s also the perfect time to take some personal time for yourself while you heal from your past relationship. Here are ten things that you should do after a breakup:
“Don’t cry when the sun is gone because the tears won’t let you see the stars.” — Violeta Para
Part I: The Process
1. Throw away anything that reminds you of your ex.
Although this isn’t easy to do, it’s necessary. You don’t want anything reminding you of them or holding onto the past relationship. Possessions are one thing, but if any photos need deleting, now is your chance.
You’ll thank yourself later for doing this step because it can be painful at first since memories might still be fresh in your mind.
It doesn’t have to happen immediately after a breakup, just when you’re ready and feel up to facing all those feelings again.
This way will give you more closure on the situation as well, so keep that in mind whenever throwing away items becomes too difficult emotionally speaking.
2. Talk to someone you trust — a friend, therapist, or hotline.
Talking to someone who understands and listens is very important after a breakup.
You may not want to talk about it, but there’s no better person than someone you know who has been through their own breakup; understand what you’re going through and how you feel. This can be your best friend or family member as well.
If talking doesn’t work for you, then therapy sessions are the next option. If this still isn’t an option, try reaching out to a hotline number that is dedicated to helping end relationship abuse for good.
3. Allow yourself only to spend one day dedicated to grieving if you decide to.
This is a complicated rule to follow, but it’s necessary. Mourning the end of your relationship can take weeks, months, or even years if you don’t set boundaries for yourself.
It’s okay to cry, be angry, and feel all those negative emotions, but it would be best only to do it in one day; once that day is up, you need to start focusing on yourself.
It might be hard in the beginning, but eventually, you’ll find that there are other things in life that’ll make you happy too and weren’t possible while you were still hung up on your ex. Note to not grief excessively like using harmful substances or isolating yourself from the world entirely.
4. Practice gratitude for the blessings you have instead of the ones you don’t.
Breakups are complicated, and it’s natural to feel down about yourself, but don’t dwell on your ex. Dwelling will not help you get over them any faster. It might be difficult in the beginning, but start thinking about all the good things in your life that you’re grateful for, even if they seem minor.
This could be anything from having a great group of friends, being surrounded by nature, or simply waking up each morning. When you have gratitude for what you do have, this will shift your focus off the negative aspects of your breakup and eventually make you feel better.
5. Take care of your physical health by eating healthy food and getting enough sleep.
A breakup can take a toll on your physical health, so you need to be sure that you’re taking care of yourself. Make it an even bigger priority than before by eating healthy, exercising, and getting enough sleep every night — this is especially important if you’ve been crying all day or dealing with stress!
Your body will thank you for this later when the depression has passed, and you still have plenty of energy to get things done in life. It’s okay to treat yourself once in a while, but remember what your mother used to say about everything in moderation.
6. Spend some time with friends who make you laugh.
It’s essential to be around friends who make you happy and forget about your troubles. Find activities that will bring out laughter and good memories — movie nights, game nights, dinners, etc.
These are the times when you’ll need them most, so don’t hesitate to reach out for help when needed. Just knowing they’re there waiting with open arms is sometimes all we need to feel better.
There will come a time where you won’t want to talk or see anyone, but that’s perfectly normal during the grieving process. Don’t push yourself if you feel like isolating yourself for a little while; just know that those close to you understand and are always willing to help when you’re ready.
7. Find a new hobby or activity to get into.
Breaking out of your comfort zone is a great way to start moving on from your breakup. This can be anything from learning how to cook, painting, hiking, biking — the possibilities are endless.
Not only will this help you fill up your time, but it’ll also give you something new to focus on and look forward to. It’s a great way to meet new people as well who might share the same interests.
Doing something completely different than what you’re used to can sometimes trigger happy memories of when you were with your ex, so be aware of that possibility before starting any new hobbies.
8. Stay productive and focused on your goals.
It’s easy to slip into a mindset of complete laziness when you’re going through a breakup, but that will only make things worse for yourself. Keep focusing on the future by staying as productive as possible, whether it be working, studying, or even just organizing something around the house.
This is also an excellent opportunity to try new hobbies because now you have all this free time, so don’t hesitate to try out something new if there was anything from before that interested you enough.
Keeping busy might not seem like such a great idea at first but trust me, having plenty of unproductive distractions makes those lonely days even more painful than they would’ve been otherwise working on your goals. This brings me to my next point.
9. Work on your passion or a purpose project.
Similar to staying productive, working on a passion project or something you’re really passionate about can help take your mind off of the breakup. This doesn’t have to be anything significant but simply something that brings you joy and happiness, even if it’s just for an hour each day.
It’ll give you a sense of accomplishment and make you feel like you’re moving forward in life, both things that are extremely important after a breakup.
If you don’t already have one, this is also an excellent opportunity to find your passion in life, so don’t hesitate to try new things until you find what speaks to your heart.
10. Go on at least one date with someone who doesn’t remind you of your ex-partner.
This is the final tip on this list. It’s challenging to move past a breakup when you surround yourself with reminders of your ex; it makes things even more painful than they already are.
Don’t think that going out for one night means you’ve moved on from everything but know that each day away from those memories will make them easier to deal with, as well as help mend your heart much faster.
It might take some time before you feel ready or able to do something like go out again for fear of getting hurt, which I understand entirely.
However, what matters here is taking action and not making excuses because, in order to heal, we need distance between our old partners and us, both physically & emotionally, so that we can start to see them for who they indeed were.
Part II: The Future
Eventually, once you’ve mourned enough and taken some time for yourself, it’ll be time to think about the future. What are your dreams and goals? What do you want to accomplish next with your life?
This will help motivate you, even if it’s just a little bit. It’ll also make the process of getting over someone easier because instead of focusing on all that was lost, now you can focus on what’s yet to come.
These ten things should be done after every breakup, whether it is recent or not. If this isn’t possible due to time constraints, then at least try making two or three points from above for more results.
The Bottom Line
A breakup is never an easy thing to go through. However, if you take the time to focus on yourself and do things that make you happy, then it’ll be a little bit easier in the long run. Surrounding yourself with loved ones will also help speed up the healing process, so don’t hesitate to reach out to them when needed.
The most important thing is that you take things one step at a time, and eventually, everything will fall into place. We’re all human, and we make mistakes but what’s important here is that we learn from them and move forward with our lives.
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Previously Published on medium
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