4 Signs of a Relationship Burnout You Should Never Ignore

Next month on February 15th, my relationship will hit the 6th-year mark. And I think I have burnout.

I’ve had this feeling couple of times during our relationship, so I knew what’s the right action to take in order to put me back on track. I also knew what not to do because the last thing I wanted to happen was to make things worse.

Just like anything else in career life, there’s also such a thing as relationship burnout, and ignoring it won’t make the situation better. In fact, it’ll make you lose the connection you have with your partner slowly.

Here are some signs you need to watch out for, and always remember that these things aren’t going to be forever.

Consider it as a hard phase in your relationship, and it shall pass soon.

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1. You have more disagreements and unnecessary fights.

Oh, your partner doesn’t put the toilet seat down? That’s a fight.

Do they take 30 mins longer to get ready this weekend? That’s another thing to complain about.

They don’t want to spend time with you because they have their own project to do? You surely do have a reason to get upset tonight.

Just like having burnout at your work, the feeling is pretty similar; you don’t feel like seeing the big picture with your partner all the time like you usually do, you complain about the little things, and you aren’t being “productive” at showing your love to your partner.

So it’s expected to have unnecessary fights during this time because you feel like things don’t go your way, but you still don’t know what it is exactly. That’s why having some alone time in your relationship is crucial to avoid this kind of burnout.

2. You find it hard to look at the positive side of your partner.

This should be expected. Once you looked at your partner’s personality traits as something cute, now every small flaw they have seems very annoying to you; you hate the way they chew their food or how they always take forever to get ready.

All of a sudden, those little things get into your nerves, and it becomes hard to see the good side of them. So you start complaining a lot about what needs to be changed in them but overlook the fact that you have your flaws too.

At some point, when you’re in a relationship long enough with someone, things can get serious, and you start to feel like “settling down,” which can be shocking to your mind if you aren’t ready yet. So the easiest way is to try escaping from the current reality that gives you that burnout feeling, but this way doesn’t necessarily solve the problem.

The best way to handle this situation is to talk to your partner about how you really feel but never make it look like it’s their fault for you to feel this way because overall, it’s an adult relationship, and both you and your partner are responsible for your own emotions.

3. You get caught up in your relationship “problems.”

Because of all the disagreements that have happened lately, you become this emotional person who revolves your day around your relationship only. That’s all in your head and all the problems you have with your partner.

Most times, when this happens, I’d be so grumpy at work and overall not in a good mood. I also tend to neglect other areas of my life — which is really bad.

However, when this feeling is over, I usually look back and reflect. One thing I noticed is that those problems that I thought were so big are actually not a big deal at all. It was mostly just a misunderstanding and could’ve been solved by having one conversation with my partner.

So pay attention to how you feel and analyze whether there’s a real issue in the relationship or it’s just the result of your overthinking.

4. You think of the worst scenarios.

I don’t buy those couples who say they never even once think of life without their partner. We all know the relationship isn’t all roses and butterflies in your stomach. There are some arguments and disagreements, and they sometimes can push us to the edge.

When you’re going through burnout in your relationship, it’s normal to think of the worst scenario; a breakup. Thinking about it isn’t the same as actually proposing the idea to your partner.

However, this kind of thought should have its limit. If you think about it every time you have a disagreement, then it’s not a good sign, and you mostly have a deeper issue than just feeling tired in the relationship.

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Parting Words

“Spending time alone in your own company reinforces your self-worth and is often the number-one way to replenish your resilience reserves.”― Sam Owen

Most times, when you have a relationship burnout, you’d notice that there’s no significant problem in your relationship. Burnout happens because there’s a lack of space between you two.

Maybe you always spend time together 24/7, or maybe you don’t do your hobbies or work on your other personal life for so long. The truth is, a relationship can’t fill all those voids inside you. You gotta look for other things in life and incorporate all of them into this one bottle that can fulfill you.

So depending on your relationship to make you feel happy isn’t practical. Having this burnout feeling can also leave you with a good lesson that even if you love each other so much, you still need to take a break.

So go out there and take that alone time. Don’t feel guilty — you’re doing it for yourself and the future of your relationship.

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I write about all things that you might struggle with within your love life. My main goal is to make you feel less alone on your journey. If you resonate with my stories, stay in tune by becoming a Medium member here, or you can buy me a coffee here 🙂

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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