This is a comment by Mel on the post “Rihanna’s a Daughter and a Human and Loves a Man…And We’re Surprised“.
Trigger warning for sexual abuse.
Mel talks about how childhood trauma lead to unhealthy sexual experiences and self-hatred later in life.
Furious George commented:
“Trauma in youth becomes attraction in adulthood.”
Mel said:
You just shook my world with the veracity of that statement. When I was young I was molested repeatedly by my uncle, and when I was 18 as well as 20 and 21 I placed myself in situations where men violated me. Part of me hated myself and the other part of myself felt like I could never have as heightened a sexual experience as I did with someone who abused me. Even though I would go through the steps of post-trauma repeatedly, a part of this experience became alluring and attractive.
I know I’m a stranger, but I wanted you to know how powerful and insightful your words actually were.
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Photo credit: Flickr / sydney g
What you say here is true Mel, but like the earliest experience of a Meth-head, or Cocaine user, those world-rocking experiences are perused with dire consequences. i’ve seen too many men and boys die hunting for that ultimate high that will never return. When your first 100 – 100 orgasms are by illicit means, there some serious imprinting that takes place. The boy or girl is not just imprinted, but branded as “wild meat.” But I KNOW there are pedophiles and rapists reading this right now. I will tell you this in clear, indisputable terms: They will cite this phenomenae… Read more »
“Rocked my world” = good connotation. “Shook my world” not so much. Why, if you put it in quotes, did you change what Mel actually said? (FYI I am not THAT Mel)
And I agree with Mel. I was assaulted by a stranger in my 20s. Subsequently it took risky sexual behavior to get me off; I am sure something happens chemically when you are abused or assaulted that impacts your ability to experience pleasure. It’s why many, many survivors become addicts.