“You Don’t Know Nothing”

I am the mother of a high-energy, high-impact 3-year-old. There is always something going down in my house. I am going to disclose a couple of secrets to you guys, only because I feel like our relationship has made it to the point where I can take my shoes off in your presence. I am 40 years older than my child. However, she thinks she is the one with all the life experience. She is not fully verbal and as she learns to articulate her words, we spend many days debating. This is because she knows all things, and mommy knows nothing.

One of our most recent debates was surrounded by counting numbers (natural numbers vs whole numbers). Up until recently, according to Lady J, the counting numbers started at 2 and the next number was 5, no matter what I said. This great debate went on for DAYS, with me informing her that the order was 1, 2, and then 3. Oh, and when I asked her, “how old are you?”, she said that she was two even though she had her 3rd birthday last April. In March her daycare teacher told her that she was two, so that meant that she was (literally) two, and momma couldn’t possibly know when she was born.On Day 4 of arguing with her about the number 1, momma got smart and realized that Lady J trusted only legitimate sources to validate her thoughts. Lady J was not going to change her mind simply because I said it to be so. She needed source material and citations to validate her belief system. In all of my wisdom, I went to one of her trusted educators and resources: Akili and me. Lady J trusted that if Akili, Hippo, Little Lion, and Bushbaby confirmed that the numbers in sequential order are 1, 2, 3, and that she can now trust what mommy said and that the information has been verified.

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I was highly annoyed for the first few weeks after these incidents. This was because she was starting her numbers with the number one and she’s now stating that she is 3 years old and not 2. However, my little one is like this on everything, as she does not just take your words at face value. If you want to prove to her that the color is red, you must show it to her in many different formats and mediums. That might be physical items, like showing her multiple things that are red. Reading books that show the word red with red items. Painting and coloring with red paint and crayons and showing her that her favorite television educators (Akili, Gracie, Jools TV, and Sesame Street) confirm that my words are true.

My life partner lives in the world of high education. He taught college anatomy & physiology for over 15 years and is currently working on his Ph.D. in animal science & food microbiology. In his world, you don’t take anyone’s word at face value whether verbally or in writing. The research methodology is fully on display in my house. NOTHING is just so because momma said. And If momma tries to say that it is true because I said so, there will be fighting and frustration. So again, I let go and flow and let her learn with the methods that she trusts.

“Research findings must pass validation & reliability tests before they are accepted. Researchers use qualitative, quantitative, & mixed methods to carry out their studies. In all the methods, researchers will collect data, analyze it & interpret it. For a research interpretation to be credible, it must be transferrable to other contexts and settings. Thus, researchers must inform their target audience of the context of their research to facilitate transferability.” William M. K. Trochim

“Qualitative research measures an ever-changing context. Thus, the researcher has to explain how any change in the research environment affects the research results. With every new research, some new facts appear. It is the task of the researcher to present the findings in ways of corroboration with other studies.” William M. K. Trochim

Qualitative — Relies on data obtained by the researcher from first-hand observation, interviews, questionnaires, focus groups, participant observation, recordings made in natural settings, documents, case studies, and artifacts.

Quantitative — Quantity or amount is a property that can exist as a multitude or magnitude, which illustrates discontinuity and continuity. Quantities can be compared in terms of “more”, “less”, or “equal”, or by assigning a numerical value multiple of a unit of measurement.

Mixed Methods — Multimethodology or multimethod research includes the use of more than one method of data collection or research in a research study or set of related studies. Basically it is mixing qualitative and quantitative methods for one study.

Transferability — is established by providing readers with evidence that the research study’s findings could apply to other contexts, situations, times, and populations.

Toddler Example: Counting to the number 3: we count to the number 3 by counting to 3 on our fingers, seeing Akili count to 3, three rocks while walking in the park, three people getting in the car, three books on my table, the number 3 written out in the book and 3 pieces of candy. See research methodology at play in the toddler world.

We read about things, we go explore them, and then while reinforcing this knowledge with her trusted sources she can feel confident in the information that she chooses to take as truth.

Even though it annoys me I love this trait in her, because no one will be able to manipulate her into believing something simply because they say so. She will do the work to confirm her truth and the truth. What I now realize is that she is not the only one who does this. Little people naturally are researchers, it can be the parents that stifle this growth. When children experiment and it fails, we end up with a hot mess to clean up. When they test out their hypothesis and they use your favorite fill-in-the-blank to test out their theories, they either destroy it or lay claim to it. Then we go off and say NEVER do that again. We are stifling their natural curiosity and exploration skills. We are also stifling some of that instinct to wonder, dream and be. OUCH!!!

I think I just stepped on my own toes with this one. I am challenging myself to continue to nurture those desires while setting appropriate boundaries. I look forward to seeing what kind of researcher my little one grows to become.

These are my Thoughts,