“Being in a Relationship Is So Overrated”

We’re in this era now where you’ll see more content about people’s being childfree and single forever.

I’m happy for them — no doubts about that.

But on the other hand, it becomes harder to find content where people aren’t skeptical about relationships.

When you finally find a couple who shares their journey, the comment section is full of “cringe” or “no one cares” types of responses.

And to be honest with you, even in real life, it’s hard to talk about your relationship without being seen like you’re flexing.

Is being in a relationship really overrated now? Does wanting to be with someone and share the bed makes us “less cool”?

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No relationship status is better — they’re just… different

In one gathering back in February, I didn’t share anything about my love life.

Not because I wasn’t proud that I have a long-term partner, but it’s the ladies that are so hyped in this idea of “I don’t need a man ever”.

Who we surround ourselves with can impact highly on our mindset.

That moment during the gathering made me question if I made the right decision about my love life.

Is being one remove my freedom to do whatever I want?
Do I really need a man to be happy?
Why share financially when you can enjoy all of them for yourself?

Sadly, this is the same vibe you got when you’re on social media right now.

You’ll see more people believe in the idea that being in a relationship is a nightmare and then they’d find more reasons to stay single.

It’s a different case when these women have had bad experiences with men in the past or have figured out that they’re happy on their own.

But it’s too early to judge that a relationship is bad for you when you haven’t even been in one.

No relationship status is better. Being in a relationship doesn’t make you a more “successful” human being and so does being single.

It’s just finding what works for you.

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Is it the market that’s trash or is it just your unresolved past trauma?

Sometimes we need to admit that our ego got the best of us. Self-awareness is key if you want to grow to be the best version of yourself.

A lot of people like to complain about how sucks the dating market is right now. While it might be true to some extent, do you truly believe every single person out there is trash?

It doesn’t help either.

You can complain all day long and be skeptical, it changes nothing.

I know this is true because I was that person. I hated all men because I thought every one of them was just gonna cheat on me — just like my father.

Looking back, I let my past trauma control the future of my love life.

Instead of working on it as early as possible, I kept repeating the same mistake over and over again. And then telling myself, “See, that’s proof men just suck”

It’s an endless cycle. Unless you’re aware of your own bad pattern, things will only go downhill from there.

A Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Teyhou Smyth Ph.D., LMFT on Psychology Today confirms this,

“Trauma can take a major toll on one’s relationships, especially if the original trauma involved a betrayal of humanity or risk of harm by people who were supposed to be loving and nurturing.”

So instead of complaining, put the time and energy to work on your past trauma instead.

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Parting thoughts

Just like how you chose to be in a relationship, being single also needs to be a choice you make on your own.

Not because it’s a cool thing or because you see everyone’s doing it.

This whole “stay toxic and stay single” trend tends to forget that the right relationship can actually enhance your life on so many levels.

So it’s not all bad. And certainly not overrated.

If you want to be with someone to share your life moments, go for it. Don’t think too much about what others think — especially those who have never been in a healthy relationship once.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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