Wisdom for Good Loving

We’re all looking for ways to make our relationship/marriage work. This is even more true given the stats that surround marriages and relationships today.

Coaches and relationship experts publish books on a regular, to share ideas that could help in any little ways they can.

And we must admit, they aren’t all bad. We’ve learned a thing or two from their wealth of experience and wisdom. And we’ll keep learning.

But I believe, there are other ways we can learn. One of them being from our own experience and the other being, from the Bible.

It’s from these two sources, that the three wisdom you’re about to read is gotten.

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Allow space for self-expression.

Allow people to be themselves. In so doing, they reveal their true nature.

Give them freedom.

Take off the rein, the leech and let them roam. There’s no other way to find out who they are.

People need, and ought to, find themselves by themselves. Only then can they know what they truly want.

Let em all go! See who stays! — Unknown

And the love that stays, that is trustworthy, is the one that, without a doubt, knows what it wants.

And at the end of the day, you want to be with someone who chooses you from not just a place of fickle emotions but of a sound decision.

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Realize love is a vow.

Asa young man, I frowned on the idea that love is a choice. It didn’t sound powerfully mysterious enough. Nor the magic that sweeps me off my feet against my will.

Indeed, love is as beautiful as a field of lilac. And the emotions it stirs, sweet as honey. That is true of love. However, we err to ascribe these as the complete ideal of love.

To assume love is that which happens — beyond our will and control, I’m afraid, is flawed.

“A love story is not the magical thrills of how we met; but the unrepentant passion of how we continue to meet in this journey of you and I.” — George B. Kelly

Love goes beyond the feelings — past even the romance and into the challenging plains of commitment, discipline, and selflessness. Whether it’s a hearty romantic Sunday in MacDonald or the teary emotional breakdown in the bathroom, we enjoy every bit.

Love is fun, but it is also work. Can be exciting, but can also be boring.

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You’re a helper and a servant.

I’ve had my perception of love misconstrued. It’s only through His grace and giving myself to His words that I came to find the truth of marital bliss.

We’re not only meant to enjoy our partners, but also to help and serve them. Are you the man of the house? Great for you. But you’re to serve — to minister unto her.

Likewise, the woman. It’s great you’re the Queen and mother of the house, but you’re also called into service.

As men, we’re called to lay down our lives for our partner, just as Christ laid His for the church. For the truest act of love is in service. It’s why, the scripture teaches in John 15:13, “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”

If we, therefore, claim to love, we must see our partners as an extension of ourselves. One, we must submit to — cherish and protect.

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We must eat the fruits of our beliefs — one way or another. I share these ideas with you, not as a low, but as another way to look at love — to try a different approach in your relationship/marriage, and taste of its fruits.

We’re all learning. Learning how to live. To love. And to be happy.

And if a tiny shift in paradigm like these can give us that, why not?

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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