We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.
Albert Einstein
This was a comment left on one of my social media posts.
I get it. It can seem counterintuitive to reach out to a woman when you’re having problems with one.
The problem isn’t “listening to a woman.” It’s “listening” to your wife. Not only does she have a vested interest in what you do and how you do it, she also has some responsibility in what your marriage looks like.
In other words, she is not objective.
And you can’t be objective when interacting with her.
That’s what causes the issues.
The answer isn’t to pretend these issues don’t exist. Or to hope they will get better on their own.
Sometimes, if things are happening because of outside challenges, waiting it out might help.
But if the issues are due to what’s happening in the marriage, waiting usually will make things worse.
You know that things aren’t great. But, if you’re like a lot of husbands, you don’t think they’re “that bad.”
And I don’t want you to be one of those husbands who get slapped by reality when their wife asks for a divorce.
So, who would know what’s going on with your wife better than someone who is one? Add to that, someone who is trained in what makes marriages work.
It’s like finding someone in a foreign country you’re visiting who speaks your language and wants you to have a great time.
A lot of men feel comfortable opening up to their female friends. But that can be threatening to your wife. And you don’t want to add that to the challenges you’re already facing.
But if there are ongoing challenges in your marriage—finances, intimacy, communication, whatever is making you uneasy and your wife unhappy—it’s better to be proactive instead of waiting for the divorce shoe to drop.
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Previoualy Published on The Hero Husband Project and is republished on Medium.
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Photo credit: iStock
