Enchanted by Encanto

In case you have been living under a rock or assume that this runaway hit Disney movie is just for kids, you may not have watched the film Encanto. If you have access to the Disney + streaming channel, you can see and hear the tale unfold of the ‘Family Madrigal’, which consists of a clan with a secret and sad origin story. At first, it seems like lighthearted fare with vibrantly colorful imagery of a mountainside community in Columbia. Knowing that Lin-Manuel Miranda wrote the music, was a ‘you had me at hello,’ moment. From all I had heard, the culture, the food, and the artistry were accurately portrayed. What I was not prepared for was just how deep this film goes into family history, multi-generational trauma, and expectations for what makes people heroes and villains, or simply misunderstood.

According to Collins Dictionary, Encanto means “the allure of something or someone is the pleasing or exciting quality they have.” It reminds me of the word ‘enchanted’. They live in an enchanted Casita (little house) which is not so little, but seems to have a mind of its own.

One of the coolest things I have read about this film is how many children are seeing themselves visually represented by the characters. Curly hair, skin of various hues, brown eyes, and glasses are now viewed as desirable attributes. A big change for Disney characters. Art imitating life.

Since watching it, (both times with my two-year-old grandson who delightedly danced and sang along), I have viewed it through the eyes of the psychotherapist that I am. I have suggested to many of my clients that they watch it as well. It is, in some ways, an unofficial diagnostic tool. If they have seen it, they have let me know which of the characters they most identify with. Are they hold it all together and carry the weight of the world on their shoulders Luisa? Are they family secret Bruno who has highly honed psychic powers but is blamed for predicting (not causing) what might be unpleasant outcomes?  Are they Abuela who is the repository for the deep grief of the family that is left unspoken until the end of the film? Are they seemingly perfect Isabella who scatters flowers in her wake? Are they Maribel who seems ordinary but is really the one who co-creates a miracle and ultimately saves the family from doom?

The first time I watched I had a holy sh*t moment. Even though I don’t carry the physical burdens of Luisa, who can hoist half a dozen donkeys on her shoulders with the best of them or toss a piano into the air, I most definitely feel the pressure to be all things to all people.

[Luisa:] Singing Surface Pressure.
I’m the strong one, I’m not nervous
I’m as tough as the crust of the earth is
I move mountains, I move churches
And I glow, ’cause I know what my worth is
I don’t ask how hard the work is
Got a rough, indestructible surface
Diamonds and platinum, I find ’em, I flatten ’em
I take what I’m handed, I break what’s demanded, but

Under the surface
I feel berserk as a tightrope walker in a three-ring circus
Under the surface
Was Hercules ever like, “Yo, I don’t wanna fight Cerberus”?
Under the surface
I’m pretty sure I’m worthless if I can’t be of service
A flaw or a crack, the straw in the stack
That breaks the camel’s back
What breaks the camel’s back? It’s

Pressure like a drip, drip, drip, that’ll never stop, whoa-oh
Pressure that’ll tip, tip, tip ’til you just go pop, whoa-oh-oh-oh
Give it to your sister, your sister’s older
Give her all the heavy things we can’t shoulder
Who am I if I can’t run with the ball?
If I fall to
Pressure like a grip, grip, grip, and it won’t let go, whoa-oh
Pressure like a tick, tick, tick ’til it’s ready to blow, whoa-oh-oh-oh
Give it to your sister, your sister’s stronger
See if she can hang on a little longer
Who am I if I can’t carry it all?
If I falter

Under the surface
I hide my nerves and it worsens, I worry somethin’ is gonna hurt us
Under the surface
The ship doesn’t swerve, has it heard how big the iceberg is?
Under the surface
I think about my purpose, can I somehow preserve this?
Line up the dominoes, a light wind blows
You try to stop it topplin’, but on and on it goes

But wait, if I could shake, the crushing weight
Of expectations, would that free some room up for joy
Or relaxation, or simple pleasure?
Instead, we measure this growing pressure (pressure)
Keeps growing (pressure), keep going (pressure), ’cause all we know is

Pressure like a drip, drip, drip that’ll never stop, whoa-oh
Pressure that’ll tip, tip, tip ’til you just go pop, whoa-oh-oh-oh
Give it to your sister, it doesn’t hurt and
See if she can handle every family burden
Watch as she buckles and bends but never breaks
No mistakes, just
Pressure like a grip, grip, grip, and it won’t let go, whoa-oh
Pressure like a tick, tick, tick ’til it’s ready to blow, whoa-oh-oh-oh
Give it to your sister and never wonder
If the same pressure would’ve pulled you under
Who am I if I don’t have what it takes?
No cracks, no breaks
No mistakes!
No pressure!

To be fair, this was not pressed upon me by my parents. I took it on myself for many reasons. The caregiver persona developed after my grandmother died around my fourth birthday. She was like a third parent who helped care for my sister and me. Without her extra hands and heart, and grieving her passing, I decided to make life easier for my parents by being the proverbial good girl who didn’t kick up a ruckus and who got good grades and became an approval-seeking co-dependent. A little Luisa in training. It translated to being the go-to person for family and friends, as a resource and repository for information. It meant, as an empath, being a sponge who would soak up the emotions of others. It meant keeping on keeping on so as not to disappoint or let anyone down. It meant being a chameleon and an emotional contortionist who would bend over backward to please people. It has taken many years of treatment and attending CODA (Co-dependents Anonymous) meetings for me to put down the boulders.

A reminder: “Even in our darkest moments, there’s light where you least expect it.” –Mirabel

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Image courtesy of Disney