Q: What happens when a man puts a fresh roll of toilet paper onto the holder? A: Nobody knows; it’s never happened. Or, if you don’t like that joke, there are about a fucking billion exactly like it. Turn on your TV to check if you want: three seconds should do it. It’s taken as…
Straight Cis White Male Protagonists
An interesting issue has come up in the comments to that 101 101 post, one that I think deserves its own thread to start unpacking its stuff. Indefatigable commenter typhonblue linked to this article from OnFiction, and elaborated on its thesis: What the article talks about is the Actor/Observer bias. We attribute to ourselves that…
101 101
The title of this post is not a dirty joke in binary, it’s just the best a very tired man can do. It has recently become apparent to me that 101 essays such as ours, while helpful and no doubt useful to many people, are not quite sufficient. Here the 101 analogy is useful. It…
What feels masculine to you?
One thing we’ve talked about on this blog a lot is that there’s different approaches to and ideas of masculinity. I thought our readers would have some interesting experiences to share. What makes you personally feel masculine, folks? Or if not you personally, what do you perceive or experience as masculine? Me, I confess, some…
Interesting post on bullying and masculinity
In reeling drunkenly from one blog to another, I stumbled across this charming post over at Post-Modern Enlightenment, in which the author takes down a pro-bullying article by a right-winger. Yes, people write pro-bullying articles. Yeah, I don’t fucking know either. Anyway, it’s a good read, go enjoy.
Rejection, part two
As pointed out in the comments to part one, my first post about the rejections inherent in the men-approach-women-wait model was focused entirely on how bad it hurts for men to suffer the inevitable multiple rejections inherent in that model. That’s true, and it’s part of why it was titled “part one”. A word to…
Rejection, Part One
Two quotes about men being rejected by women, one of which meant a lot to me growing up, and one of which moved me more deeply than I expected. The first, from Stephen King’s classic horror novel Christine, in which the unpopular and awkward Arnie discusses how he found the nerve to ask out the…
Well hi, Mr. Sullivan.
I was startled just now to check our incoming links and discover that Andrew Sullivan likes my piece on beating one’s meat. I’ve been arguing about Mr. Sullivan’s work for years, and I’m pleasantly surprised to learn that he now knows mine. Or at least the bit of it that’s about wanking…
Blog Heads-Up
A minor point: the two owners and most popular authors on this blog have informed me that they’re both going to be busy and away from the blog all weekend. As the only contributor who’s such a sad bastard that I sit around reloading the comments and stats pages, it falls to me to keep…
Boys Got It Even Worse Than Men
Just got alerted to this lovely post over at Jezebel, a man musing on the difficulty of raising a boy amid the gender-policing traps that lurk everywhere. The author notes that there is a serious disconnect in how we look at kids who fuck with their assigned gendered activities. Yeah, unspoken cultural pressures mean that…
Emotions: Threat or Menace?
Dozens of posts on this blog so far, and we haven’t talked directly about what I see as the most pervasively damaging issue affecting men in our culture. It’s the one at the root of many of the other problems we suffer, and is perhaps the most intransigent and resistant to change. Depicted: adorable kitten,…
What If It’s All Just Made Up?
Imagine for a minute that you’re a medieval European peasant. If it helps, I can wait here while you cover yourself with shit, have several children, and watch half of them die. All set? Great. Now, I’m not asking you to be stupid here. You’re one sharp peasant. You know all the prayers and hymns…
How Revenge Of The Nerds Ruined My Life
Trigger warning for discussion of rape. Also, this gets a bit personal and ranty. You might want to get comfortable. I first saw Revenge Of The Nerds on home video, back when you could rent a VHS player in a big plastic case to watch your movie on. It came with instructions on how to…
Advertising Sins: Summer’s Eve
Tireless commenter typhonblue suggested someone do a post on this ad for the Summer’s Eve line of vaginal cleansers: Shit, how can I resist a big, slow-moving target like that?
Sports: Talk Amongst Yourselves
As a man, I am supposed to like sports. Specifically the subset of sports designated “manly”, but especially American football, as I am an American. I am assured of this fact by every commercial, every movie, every stand-up comedian’s laziest joke. Indeed, when a TV character needs to be flagged as a Man it’s often…
Media Gender Roles: WTF?
There’s an interesting disconnect in perceptions of how men are presented on TV. Feminists look at TV and see that the heroes and most of the other characters are overwhelmingly men, and say “That’s misogynist!” Sensitive men look at TV and see that the defining qualities of maleness are crudeness, stupidity, and irresponsibility, and say…