.
.
Chanel White was only 19 years old and planning her wedding when she started noticing odd pains. She thought it was just wedding stress, but by her honeymoon she was having full symptoms of severe scleroderma, systemic lupus, polymyositis, and mixed connective tissue disease. After years of living off a feeding tube, Chanel received a successful bone marrow transplant and is now enjoying her “bonus life”.
Shannon Sylvian was diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer at 31. Determined to find the solution, Shannon and her physician discovered that many -if not all- cancers thrive in sugar-rich environments. Her organization, Brown Sugar Rehab, provides education and financial resources so that others can have access to a longer, healthier life.
In collaboration with Wayfarer.
Transcript provided by YouTube:
00:04
we’re doing things a little bit
00:05
different
00:06
this year we’ve decided to allow you
00:07
guys to actually meet
00:09
and to watch your documentaries for the
00:11
first time
00:13
here we go i’m gonna wake up it’s gonna
00:16
be okay i’m gonna wake up
00:17
you can win with love every time
00:22
[Music]
00:23
every time dave came out of the bedroom
00:26
and said i’ve got really good news he
00:28
said i finished filling out the
00:30
registration for the handicap sticker
00:32
it’s like why is that good news because
00:34
i don’t have to do it until 2022 and i’m
00:36
not going to be alive then
00:37
oh my god i guess that’s a big part of
00:42
the situation you guys are all in is
00:43
finding the humor or is
00:45
you know dark humor well what’s nice
00:47
tonight is that
00:49
we get to experience chanel’s story and
00:51
shannon’s story
00:52
and speaking of going to some dark
00:54
places it’s the first time we’ve ever
00:56
smashed and broken things like crazy in
00:59
an episode of my last days
01:00
i’ve been so excited to actually watch
01:02
this like this piece
01:04
just for that i’m like all right guys
01:06
this is
01:08
chanel’s story
01:13
well i’m just amazed that you’re able to
01:14
walk up a hill
01:16
oh that’s true no no oxygen is that
01:18
weird
01:19
i feel like we were that’s what our
01:20
whole marriage was oxygen strapped to my
01:22
back running to your nose and
01:24
a feeding tube running from my back to
01:26
your stomach and
01:28
it’s pretty crazy i don’t know before it
01:30
was like
01:31
we were at like the door and now it’s
01:34
like
01:36
the door’s been closed but the door is
01:37
still there and like do me
01:39
take the chance to like walk away and do
01:41
our own thing or do we
01:43
like i don’t even know wait for a ball
01:46
to drop like
01:47
live life do what you can don’t deny
01:50
ourselves anything
01:56
should probably get like 80 cats too
01:57
since we’re not denying ourselves
01:58
anything yeah right
02:10
it’s weird though isn’t it it’s weird to
02:12
go from like
02:14
actively dying to getting this miracle
02:16
to like
02:18
just expecting to just
02:22
i don’t know live like nothing happened
02:24
and it’s this thing of always knowing
02:26
like
02:27
[Music]
02:30
at any moment that could be our lives
02:31
again and i’m just so
02:33
ecstatic that we get this yeah
02:36
this whatever this is i’m just
02:41
super happy about it this is perfect
02:46
this is good this is all i need in life
02:51
it’s true
02:56
my name is chanel white and i’m living
02:58
with systemic sclerosis
03:00
a few weeks after my wedding i was given
03:02
10 years to live
03:03
but thanks to a miraculous bone marrow
03:06
transplant
03:07
i have a new lease on life now my only
03:10
focus
03:10
is enjoying each and every moment of my
03:13
beautiful
03:14
uncertain and very imperfect existence
03:20
[Music]
03:23
interview with chanel take one common
03:25
mark
03:26
b hi
03:31
i was that kid that would just go up to
03:34
people
03:35
and be like hey you’re my friend now
03:37
this is calliope
03:40
oh there she goes well that was goliath
03:42
i was extremely awkward as a kid as well
03:44
i was basically this but as a smaller
03:46
human
03:48
[Music]
03:50
from the time she was little i was proud
03:51
of her just how she always persevered
03:53
through
03:54
everything she ever did between riding a
03:56
bike doing her first cartwheel
03:58
she had no trouble just getting out
04:02
there and belt in a tune
04:03
and she was rainbows and butterflies
04:06
we met in high school because both of
04:08
our homecoming dates fell through
04:11
and a mutual friend set us up on a date
04:14
he did the sprinkler and it stole my
04:16
heart oh my gosh
04:18
do you have to bring that up no he was
04:20
over here doing this like yeah like
04:22
very unfortunate that was captured on
04:24
camera in our high school yearbook i was
04:28
there
04:28
on their very first date i knew he was
04:31
going to be part of my family that first
04:33
night i knew
04:33
we should get another dog and name it
04:34
spaghetti
04:36
spaghetti and meatball that’d be awesome
04:38
great would that be like you’re the dog
04:39
i thought i wasn’t going to get married
04:41
till 30. like i
04:43
definitely did not think i was gonna get
04:44
married at 19.
04:47
age is just a number right like when
04:49
you’ve found that person
04:51
your whole world suddenly shifts from
04:53
it’s not yours
04:54
it’s it’s hours
04:58
[Music]
05:00
so during our wedding planning i kind of
05:02
noticed some weird things i had very
05:04
swollen hands
05:05
i was kind of losing hair and just had
05:07
like hives a lot and was exhausted my
05:09
joints hurt
05:10
and my fingers started turning really
05:12
purple
05:14
we were married in august and i started
05:16
doing all my kind of testing and
05:17
evaluations in like september
05:19
and then october is when i actually met
05:21
with a rheumatologist and they just
05:22
diagnosed me on the spot with
05:23
scleroderma
05:25
systemic lupus and polymyositis i’m
05:28
thinking like
05:28
[Music]
05:30
maybe a few pills or maybe cut out
05:32
something from her diet
05:33
but nothing’s severe
05:36
and they just kind of laid it on us real
05:38
thick and um
05:41
i mean just straight up looked at me and
05:42
was like your case is extremely rapidly
05:44
progressive
05:45
and we expect about a 10-year life
05:50
expectancy
05:52
[Music]
06:01
gosh i mean it was it was odd because
06:03
it’s we’re ready to like start our lives
06:05
together and found out that my life was
06:06
ending
06:07
[Music]
06:10
the ground was taken out from underneath
06:12
our both of our feet like
06:14
we had a plan and it just got crumpled
06:17
up and thrown in the trash
06:20
you don’t you don’t think it’s real it’s
06:22
like this can’t be happening to my kid
06:25
you know you take this healthy kid and
06:26
all of a sudden sorry you’re not gonna
06:28
eat you’re not gonna jog move run
06:30
you know you’re gonna be in the hospital
06:32
non-stop you’re gonna have tests run on
06:33
your needle’s put in your body it’s like
06:35
her whole life had just turned upside
06:37
down
06:38
[Music]
06:41
my digestive tract was the first thing
06:42
to really just fail
06:46
the first night i came home on my
06:47
feeding tube it’s like this big like
06:49
elephant trunk jetting out of my stomach
06:52
i had accidentally popped the top open
06:54
and just stomach acid was spewing all
06:56
over our kitchen like
06:58
it smelled and it was everywhere and it
06:59
was just a mess
07:01
i was crying and just like very
07:04
upset emotionally just not in a good
07:07
place
07:07
and noel just like walks up and it’s
07:09
like boop and just like closes it and
07:11
was like
07:13
it’s not okay we are okay
07:32
[Music]
07:35
being just like the unlucky health
07:37
individual that i am
07:38
um i uh ended up with guillain-barre
07:42
which is a nerve condition that just
07:45
demyelinates
07:46
the nerves in your body one minute
07:48
you’re up and the next minute you’re
07:49
down and you don’t get back up for
07:51
months
07:53
paralyze your entire body they’re
07:55
breathing for you they’re doing
07:56
everything you
07:57
can’t open your eyelids you can’t
07:59
swallow your own spit
08:01
like there’s no word to describe that
08:03
but horrifying
08:05
[Music]
08:10
this is the woman i love
08:19
she’s lying there and there’s nothing i
08:21
can do
08:27
i think that was the first
08:28
hospitalization that we realized like
08:30
how unprepared for death we were
08:34
that was the reality of our situation i
08:37
was not gonna make that 10-year mark
08:39
doctors basically said hey you know we
08:42
can wait
08:43
for life to take its course or you can
08:45
go out
08:46
swinging and they said you know there is
08:49
an individual who’s doing
08:50
stem cell transplants on autoimmune
08:53
patients
08:54
and so i signed my life away and by that
08:57
i
08:57
literally mean i signed my name on a
08:59
piece of paper handing over my life into
09:01
this doctor’s hands
09:02
getting my dnr my will like all these
09:05
things
09:06
ready and just saying okay like whatever
09:09
happens happens
09:17
i remember when you were a kid i used to
09:18
bring you down here to
09:20
feed the ducks yeah and i repeatedly
09:22
fell off the rock
09:23
into the water trying to get to the
09:24
ducks all the time do you remember your
09:26
first thanksgiving when you had your
09:28
feeding tube
09:29
yeah and i made birdbath bird bags so i
09:32
could chew everything up and spit it out
09:34
i still can’t fathom having that taken
09:38
away
09:39
you know when you’re sad you want to
09:40
like drown your sorrows in a tub of ice
09:42
cream and like you can’t
09:43
i mean your basic human function is just
09:45
ripped from you and it’s
09:47
literally what’s giving your life and it
09:48
goes from this very hated apparatus
09:50
to so scary yeah this is literally the
09:53
only reason i’m alive right now
09:54
who would even think eating would be
09:56
such a celebration
09:59
when i was sick she just full-on was
10:01
like whether you need a mom
10:03
or a friend or a nurse or hey
10:06
we need to live in chicago for three
10:08
months while i undergo a bone marrow
10:09
transplant
10:11
she was ready i trucked
10:14
everything around chicago yeah
10:16
flip-flops
10:17
and it was december 31st it was new
10:18
year’s eve everybody was buying
10:20
okay
10:21
i’m like i’m blind
10:25
even though that was literally the worst
10:27
few months of my life
10:28
you brought a lot of moments of joy to a
10:30
very dark place so
10:32
thank you baby yeah
10:40
like man if i can even have a shot at
10:42
life again
10:44
it’s okay so we went into this
10:46
transplant knowing like
10:48
your heart may not be able to pump out
10:49
the amount of chemo we’re gonna give you
10:51
they’re destroying your immune system
10:53
your bone marrow you are you’re done
10:55
but my family was there and they
10:56
reminded me you can do this come on you
10:59
can do this like we can do this we’re so
11:00
close
11:02
she keeps getting this close to dying
11:05
and this may be the one
11:11
i got discharged from the hospital
11:15
but i’m so excited that i did it and i’m
11:17
done and i really believe it was
11:19
successful
11:20
and only time will tell um but i got out
11:23
of the hospital
11:24
and had a subway sandwich and it was so
11:26
good i had some
11:27
chips and a powerade and i can eat
11:31
and i don’t regret my decision i just
11:34
would never do it a second time
11:42
to come home eating
11:46
breathing somewhat functioning
11:51
was surreal
11:58
[Music]
12:00
cooking together is especially fun
12:03
because
12:03
[Music]
12:06
oh yeah the last three years i literally
12:08
just watched him eat like a creeper i
12:09
was like hey no
12:11
go eat that cheeseburger real slow for
12:13
me
12:14
hi oh good girl
12:18
so it’s an it’s an odd feeling um nolan
12:21
and i didn’t
12:22
we didn’t plan for a future there was no
12:24
thought of future
12:26
chanel and um suddenly we were given
12:29
this
12:29
we were given this bonus life that we
12:32
call it
12:33
and i have i have no idea how long i’ll
12:36
have it for
12:40
you conquered certain death now it’s
12:43
time to live
12:45
uncertain life
12:52
you go from this one person and then
12:54
this disease
12:56
this condition and the treatments used
12:57
to keep you alive turn you into this
12:59
other person
13:00
and a lot of times it’s good you
13:02
appreciate things more
13:04
but because of the amounts of of
13:06
chemotherapy that i’ve endured in my
13:08
lifetime
13:09
my memory has taken a hard hit
13:14
people call it chemo fog and mine just
13:16
never went away
13:17
um it’s hard to go from feeling this
13:20
very educated very poised woman to
13:22
someone that has trouble with stringing
13:24
a sentence together or has trouble
13:26
remembering their cat’s name
13:28
i feel very incompetent and i feel
13:35
i feel very um
13:43
there’s a word and i can’t think of it
13:48
[Music]
13:55
i’m in the woods
14:03
it’s scary because i think
14:06
what am i gonna forget in the next year
14:12
i got to meet his parents and he met
14:14
mine
14:15
and we had events together um
14:18
and how do i say i didn’t finish law
14:20
school right without saying i was sick
14:23
and am i enough for someone’s kid
14:25
because i just said you were
14:26
great i mean
14:30
when you’re going through a situation
14:32
it’s very
14:33
typical to surround yourself with people
14:36
who understand you
14:37
and i had surrounded myself with a lot
14:40
of online friends
14:41
that actually had the same condition as
14:43
me i met chanel
14:44
through a group she had created called
14:47
the seattle spoonie meetups
14:49
chanel had all the medical devices i had
14:51
feared for years
14:52
and she didn’t hate them she was
14:56
grateful for them
14:58
it opened my world to how to live with
15:00
illness instead of in spite of illness
15:03
i was telling an old the other day that
15:04
i feel like clark again
15:07
clark can’t i’m like i have this big
15:09
secret yeah you do
15:10
but i mean i’m like look at my second
15:14
belly button
15:16
right here i know it’s weird though
15:18
because i’m like you know like i’m not
15:20
where a normal
15:22
i feel like where a normal like 26 year
15:23
old would be and it’s like having to
15:25
explain
15:26
yourself is like odd but also empowering
15:29
and like i am enough we are enough
15:31
we are awesome can i say kick ass on tv
15:34
individually i hope so
15:38
i lost three
15:41
of those friends um in the past
15:44
year and a half ashley alyssa
15:48
and shelby
15:51
like i would often think like why did i
15:53
live and they didn’t
15:55
um because they deserve to live just as
15:58
much as i do
16:01
this is why i do this
16:05
this is why i participate in clinical
16:06
trials is because maybe someday
16:08
people won’t have to lose their friends
16:10
to this disease
16:17
i i love creating something
16:22
i can take with me like this
16:26
it’s just your memories your experiences
16:30
are what you take with you that’s the
16:32
only thing you get out of life right
16:34
and it’s just really cool to experience
16:38
things with the people you love and and
16:40
know that
16:41
that’s yours
16:44
hi hi hey
16:49
looks like a masterpiece oh
16:54
i feel like i never let myself feel that
16:56
frustration and just like
16:58
it just stays you know i think it is
17:01
gonna be
17:02
really nice to get out some aggression
17:24
[Music]
17:26
for just so many years we just we
17:27
couldn’t control anything we couldn’t
17:30
control
17:31
where we lived we couldn’t control what
17:34
we did
17:34
it was all just dictated for us by this
17:37
disease
17:42
we were stripped of everything and
17:46
i was worried about that final thing
17:47
that would be taken from him which was
17:58
me
18:00
[Music]
18:05
he’s my calm in the storm
18:09
there are particular instances when i
18:12
just can’t be strong anymore
18:13
he knows what to say he knows what to do
18:15
he knows how to remind me
18:19
this is worth it we’re worth it
18:24
she’s the one i chose to be with and i
18:26
don’t take that lightly
18:32
i probably laugh at things i shouldn’t
18:36
i say silly things i trip over my own
18:38
feet
18:40
but damn i love my life i have so much
18:42
fun
18:45
every emotion you feel is valid whether
18:47
that’s excitement
18:48
terror fear frustration but it’s
18:51
important to remember to not
18:52
bask in them
18:56
just experience the love and the beauty
18:59
in this life
19:05
just live just live and just enjoy it
19:16
what was that like for you watching
19:20
that was beautiful my existence
19:24
is so perfect in a totally
19:27
imperfect situation and i am so grateful
19:30
for everyone
19:32
in it because they they make it bad you
19:34
are so free
19:36
yeah even when it was hard like
19:40
just even the things some of the things
19:42
that you talked about
19:44
i relate to just because i’ve been
19:45
through them but it’s like you put on
19:47
boxing gloves and you kept going in the
19:48
ring
19:49
like no matter what your story has to be
19:52
told cause you’re so beautifully free
19:54
as does yours and i’m really excited for
19:57
everyone to see it
19:59
you guys ready yeah this is
20:02
shannon’s story
20:10
for you
20:12
[Music]
20:14
gonna get the black seed oil down
20:17
medicine time
20:19
okay let me take a sip of water please
20:22
just even
20:23
looking at it makes my body nervous
20:26
here we go hold up
20:30
now we gotta do it together and feel
20:32
like real sad like each other and yes
20:33
boom ready
20:34
one two three mmm
20:37
[Music]
20:39
wow it’s so dude i can’t even say
20:42
delicious it’s so bad
20:44
[Laughter]
20:46
but it’s good for you it’s bad but it’s
20:48
good baby
20:50
it’s good good bad
20:53
i’m getting i’m getting used to it a
20:54
little bit better oh my god
20:58
you pour it too much let me smell it
21:03
did you smell it it’s like it smells
21:04
like raisin juice
21:07
so scared honestly just right i’m really
21:10
scared
21:10
it’s gonna be fine i promise you okay
21:14
okay
21:16
yeah it’s horrible you’re not gonna like
21:18
it
21:25
you’re not gonna like it oh my god
21:29
what’s worse this or black seed oil
21:31
black seed is definitely worse
21:33
but this is not that far off
21:37
all right i got you just cluck
21:40
dear lord after this please let my
21:42
cancer be gone thank you
21:44
ready one two three
21:47
[Music]
21:49
my name is shannon sylvain and i’m
21:51
living with stage four colon cancer that
21:53
has metastasized to my liver
21:56
four months ago i was given six months
21:58
to live
21:59
but i know i have a lot of life ahead of
22:01
me
22:02
i want everyone to know that you do not
22:05
need permission
22:06
to live your life on purpose
22:14
growing up my youngest memory is
22:16
probably going to the park
22:18
and riding my bike with my dad he took
22:20
me out every
22:22
single day every day we didn’t miss a
22:25
day
22:26
she made life fun she was my caretaker
22:31
she was shannon was 12 years old when i
22:34
had
22:34
brain aneurysm i remember that night
22:38
um my mom was laying on the floor
22:42
and my dad was um on the phone
22:46
talking to 9-1-1 telling them that she
22:49
was unresponsive but i remembered her
22:51
eyes were open
22:52
and she looked at me but i could tell
22:54
she didn’t know who i was
22:56
it’s so hard to
22:59
i hate talking about it
23:04
my mom lost her memory
23:07
until i was 17. like she doesn’t know
23:11
that
23:12
i became the glue in my family
23:17
she cares very deeply for her friends
23:19
she cares very deeply for
23:22
what people are going through um she’s
23:24
kind of like a mother figure
23:26
if she has her mind set on taking care
23:27
of something she’s going to take care of
23:29
it and she’s going to see it all the way
23:31
through
23:31
don’t think you’re not going to respond
23:33
to her don’t think you’re going to
23:34
ignore her
23:35
she’s gonna make sure this thing is done
23:38
i would describe
23:38
shannon as a producer
23:42
which is code word for controlling um
23:44
and i can say that because i’m the same
23:46
way
23:46
uh so genuine
23:50
so loving so kind uh when she’s not
23:53
being bossy
23:54
and controlling and when she met bashir
23:57
mmm there’s some magic
24:01
in the air
24:06
the way that things just happened it was
24:10
a miracle it might have been that night
24:12
on my birthday
24:13
they were dancing together so what
24:15
you’re saying is you are the single
24:18
reason why that happened duly noted
24:22
duly noted she
24:25
ran this program an nbc called uh
24:27
shortcuts film festival i’m in new york
24:29
and i’m producing it
24:31
she was in her zone so she didn’t even
24:33
pay attention to me and beshear comes
24:34
out
24:35
mr smooth and he’s like do you need any
24:37
help and i’m like oh no my god please go
24:39
back inside and enjoy the festival like
24:40
this is for you because i
24:42
i don’t care anything about this
24:43
festival do you need any help
24:46
and i’m like i guess for him
24:49
that’s when he first realized like
24:53
who was this girl
24:56
he is the perfect guy for shannon i’ve
24:59
always been like i need a guy like
25:00
that yeah i remember we went to an after
25:03
party
25:04
and everywhere shannon went but she was
25:07
like
25:08
and then shannon would go and bashir
25:10
after the competition i took her out
25:12
to think her right
25:16
with a big bouquet of flowers and bless
25:18
his heart he has so much cologne on and
25:20
i was like oh my god is this
25:22
that’s the day in his mind i was driving
25:24
literally five miles an hour and she’s
25:25
like why are you driving to slope and i
25:27
was literally just trying to have more
25:28
time with her
25:29
it’s feeling like a date like i’m
25:30
laughing and i’m like stop laughing so
25:32
hard at these jokes
25:33
and then i remember that day when she
25:35
told me and she was just like
25:36
oh i’m so sorry but i just want to let
25:38
you know i have a boyfriend i think
25:39
you’re a great guy but you know
25:40
give me buds he was like no all right
25:43
cool
25:43
but we’re not friends because i did not
25:46
want to fall into the friend zone
25:49
he was in the friendship for a while let
25:50
me tell you i remember that we had this
25:53
flight
25:54
i was taking a trip to go to boston but
25:56
then i had a stop in minnesota for five
25:58
hours
25:58
it so happened that our flights were
26:01
synced up
26:02
so we had about an hour together in the
26:03
airport and so i was like oh this is a
26:06
sign
26:06
i said this is a sign as i’m landing he
26:09
calls me and he’s like you know
26:10
listen i gotta take off and as he’s
26:12
saying this to me
26:14
my name is being called by the um
26:16
stewardess on the plane
26:17
she’s like wait did you say my name did
26:19
you just did you just send my name on
26:21
the plane so i head to the desk
26:22
she’s two flight attendants like gushing
26:24
over this big bouquet of flowers and so
26:26
i’m like
26:27
excuse me ladies they said my name on
26:29
the plane was shannon chambers and
26:31
they’re like
26:31
oh my god your boyfriend oh your
26:34
boyfriend is so
26:36
sweet what i was like i don’t have a
26:38
boyfriend and they were like
26:41
he said you would say that and she was
26:43
like who told you no they told me why i
26:45
said who told you
26:46
i was out of my relationship he was like
26:50
nobody
26:53
i went through a lot with my mom and her
26:56
illness
26:57
and ever since i was 11. i would always
27:00
say like
27:01
i i have to marry someone that if if i
27:05
something happened to me and i didn’t
27:08
look how i look or wasn’t the same that
27:12
they’re not going to just
27:13
bolt out the door that’s been so
27:15
important to me
27:21
bashir is
27:25
more than i could have ever dreamed of
27:28
when it came to marrying someone
27:34
october of 2015 was when we had our
27:36
wedding and i was diagnosed in february
27:38
of 2016.
27:39
i went to the doctor for my annual
27:42
physical
27:43
as i was leaving she was like shannon’s
27:44
there anything else that you’re going
27:45
through
27:46
feeling i was like oh i mean every now
27:49
and again i see blood in my stool but
27:51
i saw a doctor about that like seven
27:53
years ago and she said you know it’s
27:55
probably because
27:56
i was eating poorly and she was like we
27:58
need to do a colonoscopy
28:01
so the next day my phone rings it was my
28:03
gi doctor
28:05
and she told me it was determined that
28:07
you have colon cancer
28:09
you’re at an advanced stage of it we
28:12
have to get you into emergency surgery
28:14
right away
28:25
[Music]
28:31
i acted as if everything was normal we
28:33
had dinner
28:34
we watched tv until like two o’clock in
28:36
the morning
28:38
and then it all started to hit me you
28:40
know
28:42
[Music]
28:43
if i’m gonna die i gotta tell him
28:49
uh it’s it’s one of the toughest things
28:52
i’ve ever had
28:57
[Music]
29:06
there have been many nights that i just
29:07
pretended to be asleep listening to
29:09
sheer cry
29:13
sucks because i you know i i didn’t know
29:16
i didn’t know
29:17
if i’d wake up there were some days my
29:20
pain was so
29:22
intense that i thought i was dying
29:26
you know and it was just hard because i
29:28
was like
29:28
[Music]
29:32
i wish i could you know have some more
29:35
time
29:39
i just wanted more time
29:41
[Music]
29:47
[Music]
29:49
it was a shock to our family we
29:52
we took that day after we heard from
29:54
shannon to sit
29:56
and pray and cry
29:59
we went out to california to go to the
30:03
surgery
30:05
and so when we got to the day of the
30:07
surgery
30:08
there was probably about 30 people at
30:10
the hospital
30:12
i had never really just seen her weak
30:15
and really going through it you know
30:19
and i was sitting in her living room and
30:22
then she was
30:22
literally ran to the bathroom and was in
30:26
there for a minute and i was like what
30:27
is going on and i just i opened the
30:30
bathroom door and i had never seen her
30:33
so
30:34
weak like like just frail and just
30:39
[Music]
30:41
like a fraction of who she
30:44
is
30:45
[Music]
30:48
it’s been hard there was a picture that
30:50
i had taken
30:52
of uh she and bashir in the hospital
30:55
where he was hugging her and just
30:57
even the amount of weight that she’s
30:59
lost and the pain that she’s been in
31:01
after some of the surgeries like i just
31:03
remember
31:04
praying and asking god like
31:07
give me the pain because she can’t take
31:10
anymore you know
31:13
i’ve never seen someone go through so
31:15
many procedures
31:16
back to back and then right after that’s
31:19
done
31:20
um we she goes into remission and we’re
31:23
celebrating for
31:24
that week all excited
31:29
and she’s like it’s back
31:32
[Music]
31:34
first thought that came to my head
31:39
burst off i get to love with my wife
31:43
again
31:45
that’s the first thought that came to my
31:48
head
31:51
i get to love her
31:55
i smiled i said baby
31:58
i got you it’s cool don’t worry about it
32:02
we’re gonna do this like yeah i get to
32:05
do this
32:05
right this time because last time it was
32:08
rush and i didn’t have no time to be
32:10
caring and loving it was mark get it
32:12
done get it done get it done
32:14
i get to go hey baby how was your day
32:16
you doing good
32:17
yeah i love you you want this or you
32:20
want this
32:22
no you don’t want that right now it’s
32:23
cool i’ll rub your feet
32:27
i get to do that
32:32
thank you god
32:36
yeah we can’t on each other’s nerves
32:38
yeah we have these moments where it’s
32:39
just like
32:41
but to truly allow yourself to love
32:46
this way to to truly allow your heart to
32:50
open up that much for somebody else
32:53
and mean it and that pure unconditional
32:57
love i don’t think i would i would have
32:59
known
33:00
[Music]
33:02
the way i love her now if this didn’t
33:04
happen
33:05
god what a beautiful way to start a
33:08
marriage dude what a beautiful way
33:10
i was like okay god if i do die let me
33:13
come back
33:13
and let me be like an angel that like
33:16
calms their spirit
33:17
it kills me to think of anyone being sad
33:20
because of me
33:21
especially bashar i was like guy you
33:24
can’t take me out
33:26
unless you got another wife for him and
33:28
then who is that
33:32
[Music]
33:36
dude
33:39
this does look like the tree like the
33:42
scene from harry when harry met him
33:45
oh my god yeah we should watch that i
33:47
haven’t seen anything very
33:48
that’s a classic i watched it because
33:50
i’m old yeah
33:52
now you know what would be hilarious if
33:53
this branch just broke
33:55
and no it wouldn’t be hilarious at all i
33:57
mean it would it wouldn’t be
33:59
i mean i wouldn’t die but i’d be
34:01
severely wounded
34:02
the day after my surgery dr chen told me
34:05
that specifically african americans die
34:07
from colon cancer more than any other
34:09
ethnic group
34:10
when i was small they didn’t call it
34:12
cancer they just said she had a real bad
34:14
illness come to find out many many years
34:17
later
34:18
it’s hereditary in our family at 23 i
34:20
don’t know anything about a colonoscopy
34:22
i didn’t know about my family history
34:24
she was like how many people especially
34:27
minorities
34:28
don’t know any of this you know you
34:30
don’t go
34:31
to family gathering or friends and be
34:33
like yeah let’s talk about prostates man
34:36
we have to stay informed people needed
34:39
to understand
34:40
that colon cancer is out there it’s
34:42
linked to our diets
34:46
a day out of surgery from having part of
34:49
my colon resected
34:51
i started looking up how to start brown
34:53
sugar rehab
34:56
brown sugar rehab has
34:59
taken off in a way that i didn’t see
35:01
coming we’re getting healthier and
35:03
learning new things
35:05
and feeling accountable because of the
35:07
strength that we see her
35:08
in the fact that something that is set
35:11
out to kill and destroy
35:13
brought new life out of her and has
35:16
inspired and empowered people around her
35:19
i feel like shannon has that purpose now
35:22
she has that passion and she
35:24
has exhibited a strength that i don’t
35:26
think she knew she had and i definitely
35:27
didn’t know she had
35:31
[Music]
35:34
my last mri with my doctor he
35:38
told me that i’m in the beginning stages
35:41
of liver failure
35:42
he feels like i have a month my stomach
35:46
is distended
35:47
um it’s it’s you know
35:50
the tumors have nowhere to go so they’re
35:53
like pushing around i have a lot of air
35:55
in my stomach
35:56
it’s been interesting walking down the
35:59
street
36:00
and you know you’ll see women like we’ll
36:02
see what ladies like
36:03
smiling at us and congratulations and
36:06
we’re like
36:08
thanks and that could be emotionally
36:11
scarring because you know one day we
36:13
would love to have children
36:14
and not to say that we won’t but you
36:16
know
36:18
that is part of the all the life the
36:21
ultimate life that we want to achieve is
36:23
to to have kids and to love on them
36:29
so we’re going to have to get a big
36:30
house because i want that room
36:32
with all your medical stuff like on the
36:34
wall so every time
36:35
we punish them we take him to that room
36:37
make him memorize it
36:39
yeah recite the definition of a
36:41
colonoscopy
36:45
[Music]
36:48
i’m at a point where i’m tired of fear
36:51
i’m just tired dude
36:52
like i’m being very honest
36:56
fear is tiring and now i’m really
36:59
learning
37:00
true true love when you’re wanting to
37:03
love unconditionally
37:07
no matter how good or bad somebody
37:09
teaches you that
37:10
it’s
37:13
it’s overwhelming if you really think
37:16
about love how
37:17
love works that’s why they say forever
37:21
you go oh yeah
37:22
it would take forever for me to love
37:24
every aspect of you
37:26
while you’re growing
37:29
[Music]
37:31
there is not anything that i wouldn’t do
37:33
for beshear
37:34
if he went blind and he needed my eyes
37:37
and that was the only way he could see
37:39
i would be blind for the rest of my life
37:42
and that’s how i feel about beshear
37:50
[Music]
37:52
i want to spend as much time with my
37:55
husband that i can
37:57
taking in just moments regardless if i
38:01
beat cancer or not because you don’t
38:04
know
38:05
it doesn’t have to be cancer it could be
38:07
anything
38:08
so just love is what i would tell people
38:13
and love without fear
38:20
first off you’re just beautiful you’re
38:23
so beautiful
38:25
like everything about you like you’re
38:27
gorgeous in every possible way
38:28
thank you so are you
38:33
your story was everything i needed to
38:36
hear in this moment
38:37
two fridays ago they told me i had 30
38:39
days
38:41
and i’m just not worried you know living
38:44
in fear will kill you
38:46
mm-hmm you just live that’s what will
38:48
kill you
38:49
there’s living in fear and unforgiveness
38:54
so
38:58
i don’t i don’t think it makes sense to
39:00
watch dave’s
39:06
i look at shannon
39:09
and she was she’s going through what
39:11
dave went through
39:15
it’s not like watching dave’s story is
39:17
going to tell you something that you
39:18
don’t
39:19
already know i guess
39:22
but i still don’t want to resent you
39:25
i i want to see dave’s story
39:30
but shannon he died of metastatic colon
39:32
cancer that went to his liver i mean i
39:34
don’t know that i could do that
39:38
if you can’t then i respect that i just
39:41
don’t want you to
39:43
think about what it’s going to be like
39:45
for beshear based on what my reaction is
39:49
i don’t want that to bring you pain
39:52
i would love to see dave’s story
40:00
[Music]
40:10
[Music]
40:16
[Music]
40:22
okay
40:29
makes me want to be like you it makes me
40:31
want to be like dave and like travis
40:36
you know in you but there is a gift
40:41
in that right at least for the three of
40:45
us
40:47
and that when i went back to the
40:49
superhuman powers of your husband
40:51
and these three this is what
40:55
this is why we do this show
40:59
we we tell real stories
41:01
[Music]
41:03
of life of humanity right
41:06
we all have the same future every single
41:09
one of us
41:12
and it’s you guys that get to wake up
41:15
the rest of us
41:17
and i can tell you something i told my
41:20
husband
41:21
he had a way harder job than i did
41:24
watching the person you love go through
41:26
something knowing there’s nothing you
41:27
can do
41:28
we have to fight you guys choose to
41:31
fight
41:31
that is a battle that is so honorable
41:34
and you deserve to
41:36
to feel everything because it’s all
41:38
valid
41:39
you have the hardest job let’s just take
41:42
a few minutes
41:44
yeah of course it’s like a breather
41:48
because that’s what we need right yeah
41:50
and um
41:51
and we’ll come back tomorrow night and
41:53
watch uh
41:54
dave’s episode awesome all together
42:37
you
—
This post was previously published on YouTube.
***
You Might Also Like These From The Good Men Project
 |
 |
 |
 |
Join The Good Men Project as a Premium Member today.
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.
A $50 annual membership gives you an all access pass. You can be a part of every call, group, class and community.
A $25 annual membership gives you access to one class, one Social Interest group and our online communities.
A $12 annual membership gives you access to our Friday calls with the publisher, our online community.
Register New Account
Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
