Onomástico

you asked me for my name and I say it’s
pronounced Mendoza and again the
Spaniard spits it out my throat Pat’s me
on the tongue tells me I have been a
good subject and again I have traded
this empire back for my former one I’m
sorry I didn’t mean to confuse you I too
would like to proudly bestow a heritage
they said I do not know what whole mites
tell my children to go to I speak
English my Abuela’s cane shakes I speak
Spanish and an Aztec priest hugs the
smallpox of his lungs I say now I’ll
know which I think a mother asked for
her daughter back when I say home whose
mother am i referring which war am i
praying to flee ask me of my name and I
will tell you of the first men who
brought it here are they done leash dogs
upon children and clothes entire
villages and flames asking me of my name
and I will tell you how I only have it
because a Spaniard stamped it into a
cache man a woman with his teeth I’m
sorry I did not mean to bring my blood
into the room I too would like to state
my presence as not Hawk up a genocide
I’m sorry I would have known my
indigenous parts first but I searched
for my kin in a school book and learned
only of them as the Europeans casualty
and that I asked for a history and was
handed a cup of blood I’m sorry I
reached back across the border to find
anything that has not already been
buried but most times I find America
imperialized and already colonize nation
most times I find colony stacked atop
another colony repeatedly a birthday
cake of mass graves so when you ask how
do you must I go to find my origins this
is not a metaphor I mean there’s most
likely a Walmart plot upon my ancestors
I mean in the shoveling for identity I
must unearth all the shopping malls and
pipelines that have crushed
I mean the Spanish literally built the
Mexican capital over the apps tech city
and broadened it to swallow the entire
lake that each year the city sinks hole
feet into a cavity of its own making
I mean bedrock becomes untrustworthy
when it was someone else’s home ask me
of my name and I’ll tell you I do not
know how to honor my existence and the
Holocaust that caused it in the same
mouth ask me of my name and I’ll say
it’s still a last thing I have left to
pride in the country that does not want
it here ask me of my name you know say
it’s pronounced Mendoza but we chatting
a woman at the top of my neck sings and
cries in the same tone it’s okay love
you’ve survived
now dig deeper find me
you

—

It’s never too early to start talking about Father’s Day on The Good Men Project. We’re looking for sponsors and contributors for our #ModernDayDad campaign. https://t.co/WJvKqq2kTe pic.twitter.com/j66LNCY0VG

— The Good Men Project (@GoodMenProject) March 11, 2019

—

We celebrate Gay Pride all year long. But this year, we’re doing some special programing for a large-scale campaign #LoveEqually. We’re looking for both sponsors and contributors. Check it out! https://t.co/tkraXFPxLL pic.twitter.com/X2FlBEZb8Y

— The Good Men Project (@GoodMenProject) March 11, 2019

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