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This content is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide legal advice.
It is not uncommon for the divorce process to include some degree of anger and resentment from both parties involved. However, allowing emotions to take over the process will only make things more expensive for both parties.
Some couples can avoid the negative consequences of a drawn-out, hostile proceeding by taking advantage of divorce mediation services. However, there are a few things you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse should consider before deciding if a mediator will work for you.
Divorce Mediators
A divorce mediator is a neutral party who possesses special training that allows them to help divorcees resolve differences as amicably as possible. Mediation is often faster and less expensive than a divorce trial. Couples also retain the right to a final say on matters when choosing mediation instead of a courtroom.
How to Choose a Mediator
Each divorce presents its own set of problems. Possible points of contention during divorce proceedings include:
- Child custody
- Child support
- Family home
- Retirement assets
- Personal property
The best mediator for your situation will possess experience dealing with the factors specific to your divorce. Your mediator should also demonstrate the patience to communicate with divorcing parties in a way that uncovers the best solutions to the issues that are important to them.
It is important to remember that a mediator will not make decisions for divorcing parties. Nor will a mediator apply pressure to one spouse for the benefit of the other.
The Mediation Process
The mediation process can begin as soon as the divorcing parties decide this form of dispute resolution is right for them. The mediation process is completely voluntary in most states, so the court will not attempt to influence divorcees to seek mediation when they prefer a trial. However, some jurisdictions require couples to try mediation before entering a courtroom.
A mediator may want to start the process by scheduling a meeting with both spouses. The meeting will give each party to the divorce the opportunity to voice the problems and concerns they possess. This initial discussion will allow the mediator to get an idea of how far apart the divorcing parties are on key issues.
No time limits apply to the mediation process. However, the divorcees will need to adhere to any statutory time limits set forth by their state. Divorcees should also note that the process will cost more money when many meetings are necessary over a longer time.
When Mediation is the Best Option
Mediation is the best option for many divorces. This method is more likely to bear positive results when both spouses are open to the process. Mediation works best when the following is true:
Both Parties Agree
Not all divorces are contentious. When both parties agree it is time to end a marital union, a mediator can help negotiate solutions for any unresolved issues.
No Domestic Violence History
Mediators often show reluctance to take cases that involve domestic abuse. One reason for this reluctance is the struggle to keep proceedings on track when a violent history exists between the parties. It is also difficult for mediators to know for sure if the spouse who has been victimized by past violence genuinely accepts the terms of a divorce. It is just as likely they are still in fear of the other spouse.
Honesty Regarding Finances
The division of financial interests represents the most complex part of most divorce proceedings. Both parties must be forthcoming regarding things like bank accounts, pensions, stocks, and other assets. The equitable division of property after divorce is an important consideration, and mediators can help with this task only when there is complete honesty from both parties.
The Absence of a Custody Dispute
Custody and visitation rights are another part of divorce proceedings that can become complicated. Mediators are great for negotiating agreements regarding child care, the specifics of child support, or other things involved with co-parenting. But the services of a mediator are more beneficial in cases that do not involve custody disputes.
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This content is brought to you by Cheryl Roy.
Photo: Shutterstock
