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How challenging is it to be a good father? What about being a good student? How about trying to do both at once, without the support of a spouse? Yes, indeed: being a single father in college is no walk in the park. But it’s not all doom and gloom: with the right support, attitude and access to tips for single dads, you can equip yourself to thrive despite the challenges that you’re facing. In this article, we provide some single dad advice for people seeking to do just this. Keep reading to learn about three major struggles faced by single fathers in college.
Finances
When you consider the expense of food, diapers, medical check-ups, extra care, entertainment and education, it’s no surprise that a middle-income family will spend nearly a quarter of a million dollars in getting their baby to the age of 18. So, what happens to single fathers in college, who aren’t able to draw support from a spouse’s income – or even a full-time salary of their own – the situation is usually far more taxing.
Here’s one piece of golden advice for newly single dads in college: explore the resources that are available to you – namely, grants for young fathers! Many universities offer scholarships for single dads and often these are needs-based, meaning that you don’t necessarily need exceptional grades to qualify. State-offered college grants for single dads may also be an option and frequently these are comprehensive enough to cover not just education costs, but housing and childcare subsidies as well.
Guilt
Do you feel guilty for pursuing an education instead of focusing all of your energy on your child? Or for the moments in which you feel angry, frustrated or intolerant toward the poor kid? Maybe you find yourself wishing you could indulge in all-day hangovers and Netflix binge sessions, like your fellow students?
This sort of guilt is undoubtedly a massive emotional struggle faced by many single dads in college – but this needn’t be the case. Keep in mind that by getting a degree, you’re making yourself more employable and better equipped to provide for your child later down the line. What about the momentary flashes of anger, resentment, FOMO and dreams of a more carefree existence? These are completely normal and acceptable experiences for any new parent.
Fatigue
Research reinforces the painful truth that so many of us are all too familiar with: new parents will lose approximately 44 days of sleep by the time their baby turns one year of age. This study assessed parent couples, so the amount of sleep deprivation may well be greater for single parents. This lost sleep might happen because of a colicky or restless baby; or perhaps you’re simply staying up late, trying to cram in that last bit of study that you didn’t have time for, in-between play, childcare, meal preparation and your other day-to-day responsibilities.
Whatever the case, sleep deprivation can have a real impact on your academic functioning, with research showing that anything less than six hours of sleep can seriously lower your grades and ability to focus. Fatigue can also affect the bonding process, making you more irritable, less energetic and less likely to play with your infant.
Here’s a tip for single dads who are juggling a study schedule with child-care responsibilities: take a look at these helpful pointers provided by John Hopkins Medicine. Finally, don’t hesitate to enlist extra assistance wherever possible – this might be in the form of a friend who could babysit occasionally; or perhaps a service such as Copycrafter.net which will free up some time by supporting you through your assignments.
Wrapping Up: The Stress of Being a Single Dad in College
Studying and parenting are both life challenges that bring with them the potential for experiencing stress. When it comes to single fathers in college, stress seems to be inevitable. Among the many challenges that you will face as a father in this position, financial difficulties, guilt and fatigue are three of the major struggles that are likely to spike your stress levels.
The good news, though, is that stress is not inevitably a negative thing: in healthy quantities and with the right support in place, the stress of being a single father in college can improve your motivation, mental alertness, and resilience. Furthermore, a stressor only becomes harmful when our challenges outweigh our resources for coping with them. The take-home message, then, is that for single dads in college, proper time management, self-care, and a good support network are potentially more important than they will ever be.
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