Portraits of the Patriarchy
Father Time examines the progressive shift in modern fatherhood
Part 3
Books are big in our house. We read a few every night, a few after naps, or first thing in the morning. We’re starting to see tastes emerge. Big bro like Curious George, Little Golden Books, and anything science related. Little bro likes animals and construction and anything automotive. I love that they’re taking their first little dives into literature. They’re learning the plot twists, what comes next, and whether Daddy skips a page to get to “lights out” faster.
For me, reading to them reinforces my passion for books, and reminds me how powerful literature is, regardless of age. In the 30 or fewer pages that make up a story book, so much can be communicated and taught.
Stan and Jan Berenstain, authors of the numerous Berenstain Bears books, are well-aware of this, and they’ve mastered the ability to turn the simplest plots and life situations into deeply valuable life lessons. It was one of their books, “The Berenstain Bears Forget Their Manners,” in which I was taught my own valuable life lesson, one I didn’t expect to find in a story book.
In “Forget Their Manners,” Brother and Sister Bear can’t stop fighting, taking toys, and calling each other names. Mama Bear attempts to course-correct with a politeness chart, but in the process, she realizes the root cause: Papa Bear. Whether he was chiding a driver on the road or being short with a store clerk, it was he that needed the attitude adjustment. On my first read of this book, I was shocked. How could Stan and Jan do this to me? Father? Don’t I set the emotional tone in my home?
Yes, I absolutely do. That was their whole point. It’s not the kids just being brats for brat’s sake. It’s kids modeling the behavior they see, trading in the emotional currency their allowed every moment of every day.
That, my fellow fathers, is what learning is all about. After a long day, ask yourself, “Did I set a good example of behavior for my children?” If the answer is no, forgive yourself first, and then try again the next day.
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Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash