10 Things Women Really Don’t Want on a Man’s Online Dating Profile

I finally made an online dating profile.

I promised myself I’d take baby steps. I would tread lightly into the deep waters of dating those otherwise known as strangers. But I had to take the dating plunge. Too many friends have recently met unbelievably great people through online dating.

Their happiness is hard to ignore.

Not to mention, these online dates are withstanding the test of time.

So far so good in the online dating world. It’s been fun. A little more exciting than I thought it would be. But I have discovered something, actually ten things.

What women really don’t want to see on a man’s online dating profile.

Especially, since a lot of women are using the online dating app where they initiate the conversation first. This means guys need to be kinda careful with their online dating profiles.

Men might want to consider the following from photo snafus to more eye-raising online bio inclusions. Because it’s hard to tell who someone is online and there’s not a lot of space to convey that.

10 Things Women Really Don’t Want On a Man’s Online Dating Profile

1. Selfies

Men someone needs to commandeer your phone.

Stop taking selfies unless you’re young enough to know how to do it. You’ve got only one chance to show a woman who you are. Well, technically a few but if you blow it with the profile pic it’s not going to get you a swipe.

What do women never want to see on a man’s dating profile?

The goofy selfie.

The looking down at the camera selfie. The looking up at the camera selfie. The blank stare selfie. The caught in an awkward gaze selfie. The looking down through the sunglasses selfie. The phone is seen in the pic selfie. The half-of-your-face-only selfie.

And definitely not ever, never….the mirror selfie or the pillow selfie.

2. Photos of beautiful women

It’s nice that you know beautiful women but we don’t know your people.

Is that gorgeous girl your best friend? Your best friend’s wife? Your sister? Your grown daughter? Your unbelievably ageless mother?

Are you announcing that women find you irresistible? That you’re a player? A socially popular guy? The life of the party?

What do women never want to see on a man’s dating profile?

A woman that is obviously not one of your children and we can’t otherwise identify.

It only confuses us. We don’t know who that girl is.

3. The costumes and the props

It’s great that you like to dress up but maybe don’t do it in your profile pic.

It’s awesome that you’re a grand poobah of something but the hat is a little silly. It’s fun if you’re a gamer or love Comic Con but maybe save that for your bio or an initial conversation. If you dig civil war reenactments, do your thing…just not in the profile pic.

We get that you may feel the need for a photo buddy but the mascots, statues, trees, and other things make it hard to focus on the guy. It feels more like a pic your buddy might like and laugh over.

What do women never want to see on a man’s dating profile?

Dressing up more than they will for a date.

4. Humor unless you’re hysterically funny

Guys you only have a few sentences to make an impression.

Don’t use humor unless you are ridiculously quick-witted and hysterically funny. It’s not easy for jokes to come across well in the limited amount of bio space online dating apps provide. A girl doesn’t want to read a joke three times and still not get the punchline. She doesn’t want to hear an inside joke that makes your buddies roar but she doesn’t understand.

What do women never want to see on a man’s dating profile?

A guy who tries to be funny but isn’t.

5. Mocking women in supposed fun

Now men you would think this would seem like obviously endangered territory.

Maybe it’s not the best idea to mock the opposite gender you’re attempting to attract on a dating app. Remember? You want to get a woman to go with you. Some women might appreciate some bro humor but the majority don’t really dig it.

What do women never want to see on a man’s dating profile?

Men who mock women are a tough sell on online dating apps.

6. Guys looking to shamelessly hook-up

Not every woman is looking for a ring or commitment.

But we are searching for a good guy.

We don’t want to date creepy acronyms like FWB. Even worse, you’re looking for long-term FWB. The average girl isn’t getting on a dating app to meet a friend with benefits kinda guy. She’s dating online usually because she hasn’t had success meeting the type of man she’s looking for.

Find your hook-ups elsewhere, there are other apps and bars for that kinda thing.

Don’t put us over the edge by saying you are happily married in an ENM relationship. Thankfully we girls don’t know where you find other people like you but there must be somewhere Ethically Non-Monogamous couples troll.

What do women never want to see on a man’s dating profile?

Good men looking to meet new people, date, and/or potentially (LTRs) long-term relationships.

7. Ranting and venting

Guys, we understand you may have experienced some marital or dating frustrations.

But venting in your bio about what you don’t want in a woman isn’t the best first impression.

It’s kind of the same sage dating advice they proffer about not talking about past relationships or your divorce on a first date.

Venting and frustration aren’t a good look on any of us.

What do women never want to see on a man’s dating profile?

A girl doesn’t want to sense a guy is fed up with women and not over his past relationship.

8. You’re still married

Does your wife know you created an online dating profile?

Women don’t care if you are in a loveless marriage.

Maybe you think you’re being honest. While being dishonest to your spouse. Either way, it’s more Ashley Madison than an online dating app.

What do women never want to see on a man’s dating profile?

A married man.

9. Lying about yourself

We know it’s popular to lie about age on dating profiles.

But it’s not cool when women or men do it. And it’s really not cool to lie about other things. Tell the truth about who you are, where you work, and what you are honestly looking for in a relationship.

What do women never want to see on a man’s dating profile?

Girls want men who tell the truth.

10. Code words for appearance or other things

The subtle or not-so-subtle word cues that say more than you think.

So you’re searching for a petite and active woman. That speaks volumes and can be translated into a skinny woman. There’s nothing wrong with having a preference. There may just be another way to put it. Maybe active is enough.

You want a woman with no drama. Does it mean you had a bad experience with another woman? Or that you think most women come with drama? Either way, not a great word.

What do women never want to see on a man’s dating profile?

We all have physical and personality preferences but choose your words wisely.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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