10 Ways To Stop Comparing Yourself With Others

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

You know you shouldn’t compare yourself to others. Yet, that’s often easier said than done.

Job title, income, grades, house, and Facebook likes — the number of categories in which we can compare ourselves to others are infinite. So is the number of people we can compare ourselves to.

Comparison is generally the fast track to unhappiness. It’s a recipe for misery. All it does is keeping you focused on what you don’t like about yourself and your life.

It is easy to compare what other people have to what you have. Where other people are in life and I where you are in life. The more you focus on someone else’s path and not your own, the more you will feel less than you are.

Photo by jack atkinson on Unsplash

Here are 10 ways to stop comparing yourself to others:

1. Water your own grass.

When we focus on other people, we lose time that we could otherwise invest in ourselves. We don’t grow green grass by focusing on our neighbour’s garden, we do it nurturing our own. So, instead of wasting time comparing your path to someone else’s, spend it investing, creating, and caring for your own.

2. Change Idealizing to humanizing.

Look at the complete picture, a balanced view of others before you compare. Realize others are human beings and that they, like you, have strengths and weaknesses.

3. Accept where you are.

You can’t change something you don’t acknowledge. So, instead of resisting or fighting where you are, come to peace with it. Say yes to every part of your life, and from that place, make decisions that will move you in the right direction.

4. Live Intentionally

Intentional living is about making a conscious decision to live your life aligned with your values, goals, dreams and ethics. “Live in the moment” — enjoy what you have and can do right now.

5. Realize that you’re not perfect.

There will always be someone who’s richer, smarter, and more attractive than you. No one is perfect. Trying to be perfect is not the solution. So, instead of getting down on yourself for your flaws, quirks, and imperfections, accept them fully. Free yourself by embracing the fact that you’re perfectly imperfect.

6. Realize life is not a competition.

Life is not something you can “win”. It is something to be enjoyed and savoured. Understand that many who are super successful in one aspect of life may be complete failures in another.

7. Learn to love enough.

If you always want what others have, you will never have enough. You will always want more. That’s an endless cycle, and it will never lead to happiness. Be content with what you have.

8. Be grateful for what you have.

Be grateful for the things you have achieved and for the things you have. Acknowledge your success. It is hard to be depressed when you keep reminding yourself of all the good things you have in your life.

9. Know that this isn’t the end of the movie.

If you’re not happy where you are today, remember that this is just a snapshot of your life. Where you are today doesn’t say anything about where you’ll be in one or three years from now. What matters isn’t where you are. What matters is your mindset, attitude, and where you’re going.

10. Compare yourself with you.

Comparing yourself to yourself is the only fair comparison you can make and even this has limits. Never belittle yourself. Use the baseline version of yourself as a metric to measure. Ensure that you are improving.

Photo by Alina Fedorchenko on Unsplash

“Personality begins where comparison leaves off. Be unique. Be memorable. Be confident. Be proud.” — Shannon L. Alder

It’s time to stop comparing yourself to others. This behaviour often leaves you feeling frustrated, anxious, and paralyzed. It doesn’t help when creating the life that you desire. Instead, it takes away valuable time and energy that could have been spent on building a future.

Decide that your energy will be used for believing, not doubting, and for creating, not destroying.

Focus on you. Focus on watering your grass and building your path. Focus on being the best that you can possibly be and enjoy the ride.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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