Most of my articles revolve around what men can do and say to make the woman in their life feel valued and respected. I don’t believe that any man should need a reason or a reward in order to do these things, but one thing is for certain: Open affection and communication in a relationship need to go both ways.
It is not often that you will come across articles or discussions about how men need or want to feel loved. We are ‘supposed to be’ the less emotional of the genders and many times our desires for affection go overlooked.
Regardless of how kind or easy going a man is, if he doesn’t feel loved, respected, and valued in a relationship – he will begin to slowly pull away from you. Here are some phrases that will give him all of the feels.
“You look handsome.”
A good man should always be reminding his woman how beautiful he thinks she is (as well as complimenting her on non-physical traits of course), but it is also a great feeling for a man to be told he is handsome by someone he cares about. Just the word ‘handsome’ holds a different meaning than other compliments and seems to hit us a little differently.
For those of us who do put effort into our appearance and don’t just toss on a t-shirt and jeans to go out to dinner, it is appreciated when our efforts are noticed. It will give us a boost of confidence and keep us smiling for the rest of the day.
“I’m proud of you.”
Men see their self-worth differently than women do. I remember being asked why I am so driven to succeed professionally. “Isn’t being a good man enough?”
We strive towards goals and accomplishments whether it be at our job or a business we have chosen to start. Much of our confidence is dependent on how well we do in accomplishing these goals. Having the support of the woman in our life and know that you think we are doing a good job (professionally or personally) is reassuring in ways that many other statements can never be.
“I can really see the difference!”
Men get down on themselves about their bodies, too. We all want to have better abs or a more defined chest. We want to feel like we can protect you, and ourselves. We want to feel strong. We want to feel like men.
When we do put in the effort to start eating better and working out, we are hoping it gets noticed. But, not just by anyone – by you. Telling us that you can see an improvement (no matter how small) from our efforts will reinforce us and encourage us to continue along our path. Staying motivated is not easy.
“I want you.”
There are many times when the man is the one to initiate physical contact in a relationship. Whether it be by a verbal comment or touching you in a certain way. But there are times where we wish you would take control and make the first move. We don’t want to feel like we are always initiating sex, because we may start to wonder if you are actually attracted to us and are just complying to make us happy.
We want to feel wanted too, and even more so, we want to feel like you want us.
“I love how you make me feel.”
Men take great satisfaction in satisfying the woman they love. We are willing to listen, learn, and take direction to be the best lover we can for you. Knowing that we are doing something right is a confidence booster and will keep us eager to make you feel that way again. And again. And again…
“I won’t get mad if you tell me.”
It is no secret to the women reading this that many men out there are not the best communicators. They may keep things inside for multiple reasons. Maybe they are nervous about how you will react, maybe they are not great with words, or maybe they just never grew up thinking it was okay that they share their feelings.
Either way, it will put him at ease knowing that he is able to open up to you, be uncensored, and say what he truly feels without you getting mad or upset. Side note: If you are going to tell him this, please make sure you really do not get mad.
“I trust you.”
With all of the negativity floating around in the world today, it is much easier to keep ourselves guarded and not fully trust somebody. The truth is, though, that if a man does not feel trusted he will constantly feel insecure in the relationship. He will feel that you will be suspicious of everything he does or says, and that you will not fully open up to him about how you feel.
If a man knows that you trust him, it will bring a new level of security to the relationship.
“You can trust me.”
Needless to say, trust goes both ways in a relationship. Both people need to fully have it in each other, and also consistently show their partner they can be trusted. Words of assurance, though, are always a good start to put someone at ease (assuming your actions back them up).
Whether it is something small like picking up your prescription down the street, taking you to dinner, or getting that coffee in the morning – these two small words go a long way. Kindness should never be given to someone for the sake of a return, but appreciation should always be expressed when someone puts in effort.
“I respect you.”
As men, one of the things we value most is being respected. We want to be respected by our friends, by our colleagues, by our family, and definitely by our significant other. As important as respect is outside of a relationship, it also pairs up with trust as the cornerstone of love. Without these aspects, true love cannot exist.
“I support you.”
Whether we are working on a new business, starting a new gym routine, taking a new class, or undertaking any other venture in life – knowing that we have the undying support of the woman we love will make us feel like we always have a safety net for when things get rough.
“I appreciate you.”
This goes beyond the ‘thank you’ point, because appreciating someone for the person that they are is on a different level than appreciating things that they do for you. As men who work to keep you happy, become the best versions of ourselves, be good to others and to our family – it is very important to us to know that our efforts are.
“You make me happy.”
Any gentleman who is in a relationship will be striving to be a source of happiness in his woman’s life. Make sure he realizes that he is.
Inevitably, any time I write an article like this people will comment and say “well that goes for women too.” Of course it goes for women too. The things listed here should go both ways – but in the culture we live in, it is unfortunately often overlooked that men crave and desire this sort of affection as well.
We want to feel wanted, respected, and loved. We communicate directly, so it is important for us to hear these things from the woman in our life if she really does feel them.
This article originally appeared on James Michael Sama’s Blog
Photo credit: Getty Images