Privacy, overstated love, and keeping intimacy present are just some of the things on how to keep the spark and the strength in a relationship.
It seems that the further we look, the harder it is to find couples who are in strong, happy, healthy relationships. But — it is important not to get discouraged, because they are out there, in all generations.
We often credit our parents’ or grandparents’ generations with having longer lasting, more solid relationships. While this may be the case, relationships like these do not just happen randomly. They require consistent effort from both partners. Here are some valuable lessons we can take from couples with the strongest relationships.
1. Arguments are natural and don’t end it all.
Strong couples understand that if you’ve got a house and a light bulb goes out, you fix the light bulb – you don’t sell the entire house. Just because you have arguments or fights doesn’t mean the demise of the relationship. You can disagree with someone and still be in love with them. Just make sure to never be insulting and understand that if you fight all the time, it is a red flag.
2. You can’t overstate how much you love someone.
If you love him or her with the intensity that you need to in order to spend a lifetime together — make sure he or she knows it. Hearing ‘I love you’ never gets old. As an added bonus, it helps eliminate any insecurities or doubts because you are keeping your partner confident about your feelings.
3. Your family is their family, and vice versa.
Family is an important part of any relationship. If you don’t think so — just imagine the tension present if you are with someone who your parents/aunt/uncle/friends/brother/sister openly dislike.
While it is unrealistic to expect everyone will always get along and like each other, it is important to put in the effort to treat his or her family as your own.
4. Keep your private life private.
It doesn’t take more than 30 seconds of scrolling through Facebook to spot more than one person’s relationship issues. When you start inviting the public into your relationship, it no longer becomes your relationship. Sure, share your fun dates, post goofy photos together, enjoy yourself — but make sure you draw the line where necessary.
5. Don’t let things get stale.
Particularly in longer-term relationships, it is natural to fall into a routine with someone. This is why it is important to stay spontaneous and keep the fire burning. Plan a date night, get in the car and pick a town for a weekend away, surprise him or her with tickets to that concert they’ve wanted to go to. Nobody wants to be in a mundane relationship forever.
6. Be punctual.
Just because you’re not picking someone up for dates anymore doesn’t mean you can be late. If you’re going to a party or event together, do your best to be ready when you both plan to leave. If someone is waiting around for you and getting impatient because you’re going to be late to something that’s important to them, it can cause unnecessary tension during an evening that’s supposed to be fun for you both.
7. Pick up the slack when your partner is overwhelmed.
Life can get busy, work can be stressful, and people can get overwhelmed. This is why it’s important to blur the lines of ‘gender roles’ in a relationship. Doing the laundry and cleaning the kitchen are not roles for a woman — they are necessary household chores, and it is important that both share the responsibilities.
If your significant other who usually does a certain type of chore or errand is feeling stressed, step in and take care of it.
8. Take care of your partner when they are sick.
Nobody wants to get sick and nobody enjoys it — but being in a relationship is not just about being there when things are great, it’s also about stepping in to do what it takes when things are not great. Cancel your dinner plans, go to the store for more medicine, and do whatever it takes to make him or her feel better.
Don’t have an attitude about it either, nobody likes to feel like they are a burden on their significant other — if you are going to grow into old age beside this person, you’ll need to know they are willing to take care of you when they have to.
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