“Be gentle. You are meeting parts of yourself you have been at war with.”
Death’s cold chill ran through my veins triggering thoughts of suicide.
Intensely racing emotion, self-destructive and wild, left me feeling raw, vulnerable and abandoned. The shadow within me self-sabotaged my dreams and killed all aspiration, becoming more hellbent in viciously dethroning me from the rightful reign of “god” of my kingdom.
Hopelessly heartbroken, splintered and shattered, my life exploded into a million jagged pieces, blown apart, scattered and haphazardly strewn across the floor. A darkness from which there is no escape quickly consumed me.
Familiar faces drifted away never to be seen or heard from again.
I despised how best friends and past lovers could be seemingly reduced to nothing more than complete strangers.
Part of me believed all was lost.
“Am I crazy?” I thought. “Have I really forgotten who I AM?”
“All is not lost, do not despair” a quiet voice whispered.
And in that moment was when I remembered the truth…
The UNBREAKABLE first were broken.
Breakdowns are actually BREAKTHROUGHS, they just haven’t transformed yet.
Becoming fear-less and unstoppable requires FACING the FEAR.
We either create restrictions and limitations in our lives, or we create freedom.
I cannot erase the ten years I spent lost out in a sea of depression. Every breath was a battle, and my inner surroundings were constantly at war. I will never forget.
But most memorable is the moment when I stopped fighting, raised the “white flag” of surrender and released myself from all the pain, fear, struggle and doubt.
I declared peace and signed my signature in the treaty of acceptance with my Soul.
This flag of surrender has since been replaced by two peace fingers and I hold them high and proud.
So why am I here still standing strong?
Because I have consciously chosen to no longer go to war with myself…