If you’ve read my work about self-love and have wondered about its source, then the answer is “books.” Books are the reason I have fallen in love with myself. Books have always rescued me from the burden of “what people will think about me.”
Books have taught me how to empower myself without judging or underestimating myself. Self-esteem, self-worth, self-improvement — all fall under the self-love umbrella. Why? Unless you know your real value, you can’t love yourself.
So, here’s a list of my books that has enlightened me on my journey of self-love. These books have helped me wipe off my tears and love myself whenever anyone sabotaged my peace and happiness. I am sure they’ll do the same for you, too.
The Gifts of Imperfection, by Brene Brown
What’s the one thought that prevents us from getting what we desire?
Self-doubt!
Doubt is the enemy of love. Just as trust is important to sustain any relationship, self-belief is inevitable for self-love. But noticing the imperfections and weaknesses more than your strengths distance you from what you deserve.
I relished “writing” since childhood. But people often ridiculed me. They thought it’s a waste of time and has no financial future. For a significant part of my life, I believed them and doubted myself.
Society always made me believe that “a fulfilled life is only a result of perfection.” Owing to this BS attitude, I got buried under the pressure of:
- What if I can’t be who I want to be?
- When will I be perfect?
- Why isn’t everyone else feeling the heat of achieving perfection?
Well, thanks to “The Gift of Imperfection.” This book has taught me how to overcome the paralyzing fear of being myself. It prepared me to believe in myself. My attitude changed from self-pity to self-love. I freed myself from the fear of being judged.
If I have to explain the book in two lines, it would be:
“The only way to achieve what you want is by embracing who you are. Not by thinking or trying to become what you should be.”
You Are a Badass, by Jen Sincero
How many good choices/decisions have you made in life?
Don’t even try to count!
The choices not influenced by others were good. Sincero made me believe this fact. Very often, we tend to start living our lives based on what others want and expect. As a result, we give up on our dreams for a relationship or let go of a life-changing opportunity owing to sentiments.
That’s why this book is important to read and follow. This book has helped me identify and change the self-sabotaging mindsets that stopped me from doing what I always wanted to. I felt empowered to blast my past fears and embrace big risks by learning to love myself.
My favorite quote from the book that always gives me an adrenaline rush to become a badass is:
“You are perfect. To think anything less is as pointless as a river thinking that it’s got too many curves or that it moves too slowly or that its rapids are too rapid. Says who?
You’re on a journey with no defined beginning, middle or end. There are no wrong twists and turns. There is just being. And your job is to be as you as you can be. This is why you’re here. To shy away from who you truly are would leave the world you-less. You are the only you there is and ever will be.
I repeat, you are the only you there is and ever will be. Do not deny the world its one and only chance to bask in your brilliance.”
There are so many practical takeaways from this book like:
- Don’t waste time figuring your next move. Just do it. Something is better than nothing.
- We all evolve into a better version, so don’t get caught up in the thunderbolt conception that there’s just “one” right thing to do.
- Your fantasies will dictate your actions. So don’t stop daydreaming.
- No one but your intuition is correct. Listen to it!
I am one thousand percent sure that this book will make you feel like the king of the world.
The Self-Love Experiment, by Shannon Kaiser
Just as the name suggests, this book convinces you to love yourself. I judged myself based on public opinions and (wrong) perceptions of me.
But the author has walked the path of self-love for me. Using personal life experiences, Kaiser enlightened me with many powerful ways to be nicer to myself.
If you have ever wanted to love yourself but weren’t due to self-doubts or low self-esteem, this book will surely give you some perspective about your “real self.” If you feel guilty about being selfish when prioritizing yourself over others, this book will erase your misconceptions about being selfish and self-centered.
We are not what people say we are. None but we know what lies beneath the layers of our behavior and relationships. The author emphasizes “self-acceptance” by explaining a step-by-step procedure of removing fear-based thoughts.
Also, Kaiser effortlessly convinces that changing the perception about yourself is the only way to change the outcome of any problem whatsoever.
One of the biggest takeaway from the book for me is:
“All you have to do is ask yourself, “Is this thought limiting me?”
Self-love is not difficult as loving someone else because while loving yourself, you’re both, giver and the receiver. So no one (can) judge the way you love.
These books have educated, empowered, and enlightened me about the whys and hows of self-love. I am sure they’ll do the same for you.
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Previously Published on medium
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