Do you interrogate your intentions? You might think you do, but if you’re not seeing results (or your are, but finding that they are not making your happy) it’s time to consider what is truly driving you.
It’s a tale as old as time: the self-made millionaire who is on his or her third divorce. The kids don’t speak to them anymore, and they rattle around in their mansion, filling their time with meaningless pursuits and developing a drink problem. Just as much a cliche is the person who keeps starting new ventures, only to give up at the first sign of resistance.
These two stereotypes are, of course, just that. They also represent two fairly extreme ends of a spectrum, with the majority of you probably finding yourself somewhere in between. Nevertheless; what lies behind all of this unhappiness and dissatisfaction is intention!
So many people are driven to the world of entrepreneurship by a desire to leave behind the 9-5. Being driven by this, and this alone however, can be something of a Faustian bargain. You may well break free of that, but without being clear with yourself about what this looks like; you will end up working all the hours God sends, just to keep up with demand.
You got your wish but…
Traditionally, entrepreneurship has been perceived as a majority male pursuit. This seems to be born out in the UK for instance, where 1 in 3 entrepreneurs is female. This is changing though, and on a global scale 47% of women started a business in the last year, compared to 44% of men.
Totemic cultural change aside – what is universal to all is: intention! The majority of new female entrepreneurs cited the pursuit of their passion, as being the main motivating factor in setting up on their own.
As men, especially young ones, we tend to think that we know it all! We allow ourselves to form intentions from a place of ego, that we then doggedly pursue, often to the point of destruction. ‘Get rich or die trying’.
Ask any one of us in that position what our intention is, and we’ll probably cite a desire to improve our financial situation, as it relates to that of our upbringing. We might talk about being bullied at school and being determined to prove the bullies wrong!
While this is all understandable, it’s ego-driven. If we’re not careful, we can cement intentions that govern our choices and behaviour, way past the point that we actually want the outcome anymore. This is at the heart of so many mid-life crises, because we are hit with the realisation that we’ve been living our life on someone else’s terms.
We owe it to ourselves and our loved ones, as men, to interrogate our intentions and ensure that they are guided by our expansion as individuals, loving fathers, husbands, brothers and sons. Becoming our best selves as a result of success.
Here are three reasons for why keeping your intention in check is so important.
1) You need to make the right decisions.
If you want to make the right decisions in any given moment, you must put in the work to understand your intentions. If you really get who you want to be on a fundamental level in the future; you will have aligned yourself energetically with it.
True alignment gives you your ‘why’ and with that, you’ll not only move heaven and Earth to get there, you’ll also know exactly which decisions to make in any given moment that will keep you on your path (or the clarity to know which ones to drop, but more on that in a moment).
2) You need to seek the right counsel.
Whatever you are seeking as an end goal, you’ll need the right guidance and mentorship in order to get there. It doesn’t matter who you are, how big or small the goal; you won’t get there on your own.
Completely understanding the driving force behind your intention, will enable you to better communicate what you want to those around you. This is key when asking for guidance, but also in working with a team because they need to understand what they’re ultimately trying to deliver for you so that they can make aligned decisions too!
3) You need to know when to walk away.
We talk so much about the need for dogged determination, persistence and resilience as a society, but very little about our guiding intention. It’s no wonder then that so many people face crisis once they reach middle age!
The decision to form and follow a certain intention is made in haste, followed often by decades of graft thinking that this is all you need to focus on. It’s only when confronted with the realisation (usually identified by a spouse) that we never really wanted that outcome in the first place, that we chuck it in. The problem is that this revelation can often bring with it an equally poor knee-jerk swing the other way!
By staying connected and aligned with the emotional outcome that we want to receive, we will know exactly which practices/habits/pursuits simply are not serving us. By cutting loose of this baggage, we create even more abundance for ourselves – be that of time, resources or simply energy.
Hopefully this has given you an idea about just how important forming the right intentions really is. The intention of this piece is not just to get you to question your motives, then leave you in a space of uncertainty. I want to give you a hack (of sorts), that will get you on the road to understanding your intentions, then create and hold alignment with the version of yourself that you want to become.
Bonus hack:
Ask yourself what you’re chasing. Write it down, in detail. It could be wealth, if so write down your desired monthly income. Then focus on who you’ll be with said income. What does your average day look like? So many people think about the big rubicon-crossing moments, but give scant regard to what the vast majority of their actual life looks like to them.
Take the time. Find a quiet space and really construct an average day for yourself in your new life, in your mind’s eye. Where do you wake up? What’s your morning routine? Do you have kids? A wife or husband? What car do you drive etc…?
As you walk yourself through your day (and it doesn’t have to be in real time necessarily) notice how you feel about your life and the physical sensations that those feelings generate. Really focus in on them. It could be that you get ‘butterflies’ in your stomach, or a tingling sensation up and down your spine. Whatever it is: make a mental note of it.
Do this practice daily and before long you will be able to recall those physical sensations at will, in the present. You have created an energetic alignment with the version of you that you are striving to be and by recalling those physical sensations in the present, you are beginning to live as that person now!
The purpose of this is get you so subconsciously at ease with the ‘you’ that your intentions intend to create, that you will have clarity and start to remove the internal roadblocks that stand in your way. Any resistance to this future will also quickly become apparent, enabling you to change course.
If we want to become more abundant, prosperous men; we need to be of maximum service and offer maximum value. This all starts with a clear intention. So go get one!
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