3 Types of People to Avoid Dating; Know the Signs Before Getting Hurt

Dating can be frustrating for a lot of people these days.

It feels harder to meet people in person, form intimate connections, and develop relationships.

I agree somewhat.

Dating apps haven’t “ruined the world,” people are not less social than twenty years ago, and your dating life is not hopeless.

You are experiencing what every generation of humans has.

Is dating different than the era your parents lived in? Absolutely.

You can navigate the dating scene by knowing what you are looking for, placing yourself in the right social situations, and knowing who to avoid.

We meet these types of people frequently, but something tells you they might be “different” or worth the temporary frustration.

So who are they?

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The serial killer

You might not want to admit it, but we all have one friend who is a serial dater.

They are always in the mix; talking to someone, dating someone, or hopping from relationship to relationship.

Never single for long.

I am not shaming anyone from their dating life, but there is a scenario in which it can become unhealthy.

Serial daters are dangerous because they subconsciously need another person to fill an emotional gap in their life.

They often gain validation and self-worth through approval and attention from romantic partners.

There is something you will notice. When single, serial daters feel alone and lonely. Not simply single.

It can get even more dangerous for both parties involved.

What will occur is that their standard becomes less and less attainable.

Since the new person has not come into their life and cured that emotional gap, it becomes the next person’s responsibility.

They are trying to fill a hole, but they are digging a deeper one.

It’s you, not me

Remember in the old rom-com when the breakup would happen, and an actor would say, “It’s not you. It’s me.”

The exact opposite happens now.

When someone talks about why their last relationship ended, pay attention.

I talk about this in other articles.

When someone talks about a relationship ending and uses the words, we, us, and our, you are in the clear.

When someone can only talk about what was wrong with the other person and “my needs” and “my wants,” get out of there.

Yes, we should all have needs and boundaries that are deal-breakers in relationships.

But.

A breakup was rarely all one person’s fault.

Let’s skip over the extremes of someone in a terrible situation; cheating, abuse, etc. That is one person’s fault.

Generally, relationships don’t work due to common themes like communication, emotional awareness, stability, and finances.

Look for someone who takes accountability for their part in a relationship ending and talks about what they need to grow with someone.

Me-centric relationships do not work.

I-am-happy-ship

We all want a happy, stable, and loving relationship.

Do you know what is a real challenge? Loving someone when you are not roses, rainbows, and happiness is not at the core of your relationship.

Let me give you a quick scenario.

You’re walking down the street, and someone offers you ten thousand dollars; no strings attached and no gimmicks. You would be pretty happy, right?

You keep walking, and someone robs you and takes all the money. You would instantly lose that happiness that you just gained.

Happiness can change at the snap of a finger.

There is a part of a relationship that does not get discussed enough, and that is duty.

The duty is navigating all avenues to cure relationship woes before giving up.

You should not be in a relationship where you feel neglected, uncared for, and unseen.

Those are different emotions than simply not being happy.

Relationships are about two people growing together and developing over time. It’s not instant.

When I hear people leave relationships because they were not happy, it’s an immediate red flag.

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Don’t give up hope in the modern dating world.

You have to be intentional about what you want and somewhat unforgiving.

Take your time, but most importantly, know what to avoid.

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If you liked this article, let’s backtrack in time and see 3 things you can do to avoid issues before we even get to the talking phase in my free guide here.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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