1. Don’t plan or think too much

The first time I ever improvised on the piano was in my first few years of learning to play. I remember begrudgingly sitting at the instrument, doing my minimal daily practice of 20 minutes.

My music book was open, and I was playing, but not trying to replicate what was on the page. I acted like I was following the curriculum, but was actually just trying to get my time in. My parents would listen and make sure I was practicing. Little did I know, this “fake practice” was an important step in my development as a musician and a person.

I was exercising immediate, instinctual creativity that would evolve into a lifetime habit. At the time I didn’t realize it, but long after I would stop taking classical lessons, into my college years, this would persist as my preferred way of playing the piano.

I eventually adopted a simple musical philosophy: Just sit down and play — don’t worry about anything else. Let the music come to you and see what happens.

This developed alongside a life attitude that emphasizes the importance of being able to come up with a working course of action in the immediacy of the moment.

. . .

2. Turn a chore into a passion

I had no special, innate talents or gifts as a pianist. I did fine when I practiced — as well as one could expect — but just getting me to play and go to my lessons was sometimes a struggle for my parents and me.

For years, I was going through the motions, partly to fulfill my responsibility, and also to fuel some dim hope that I’d be able to really fall in love with playing the piano and become an accomplished pianist.

I always loved music, for as long as I can remember. Even today, I have a hard time imagining someone who could love music more than I do. A lack of interest wasn’t an issue.

But I wasn’t confident in my playing. I wanted to be a great musician, yet I felt like the clumsy, immature beginner that I was. I didn’t like how slowly I was learning, and yet I couldn’t seem to focus. I even quit for a year or two, in adolescence.

But I did stick with it — and gradually, I got better. People started to pay more attention to me as a pianist, and it felt rewarding. I became more inspired to play, and genuinely enjoyed it.

I moved up the ranks at piano recitals until finally I was playing last. It wasn’t until I was a relatively advanced student that I felt I could learn music that was more inspiring for me.

And from there, I finally developed fiery passion and self-esteem in my playing. I told myself I would always play and felt thankful that my parents had encouraged me. I set out as a music major going into college to pursue dreams of becoming a professional music teacher or pianist. I also taught myself to play the guitar.

I didn’t stay on the academic piano track. There are some random and personal reasons why, but I decided to pursue poetry instead (and went on to earn my master’s degree in creative writing). Something about me and the music program I was in just didn’t click. I seemingly had many distractions as well.

But I refused to stop playing. I didn’t want to let go of my music. I focused on creative writing, but always kept piano (and guitar) on the backburner. I would learn that these instruments are a bit like riding a bike: you never really forget.

. . .

3. Thrive on having no rules

With no music teachers, or school, or any structure whatsoever to hold me accountable as a pianist, I still continued to play, but almost entirely for myself. From here, I got carried away with abstract, intuitive composition and improvisation.

I found that if I just sat down and tried to come up with music that I thought sounded and felt good, this brought me a great satisfaction. I could go all kinds of places creatively and challenge myself as a musician. And others also enjoyed my music (if there happened to be anyone around to listen to it).

A lover of experimentation and fusion, I once had a listener comment that I could switch between the styles of Thelonious Monk and Debussy at the blink of an eye. I have always been influenced by so many different genres of music that I’m sometimes unaware of it.

Playing my own music, channeled straight from my heart, mind, and body, brought me a feeling unlike any other. While I had loved to play music already composed by others — my creative side was not being sufficiently nourished that way. I could only try to express myself through their work rather than my own, which felt limiting.

Over time, I found that what gave me the most visceral pleasure as a pianist was to let the music come out differently each time, expressing itself in the moment. For me, this was the most real and powerful way I could unleash my inner musician.

. . .

4. Exercise your unique creativity

I also realized I didn’t have the desire to sit down and compose by rote notation. Strict composing seemed stifling for me. I found it more enjoyable to always be coming up with new ideas, and building on old ones, through a kind of improvised playing and composition, in real-time. I fell into a free-form aesthetic that has always been kind to me.

Over the years, I learned that the attitude and style I built was very much compatible with a jazz aesthetic, although I had only ever really studied classical music. So, I combined elements of classical and jazz together for my own purposes.

I suspect that anyone can do this (teach themselves to improvise or develop a unique style within a given interest). Granted, what I came up with was influenced and aided by my conventional piano education, yet at the same time, so much of what I was doing on my own was contrary to what I had been taught. I was never encouraged to improvise by my teachers.

I gradually got the sense that our society doesn’t make it easy for people to be creative. If you’re really wanting to think for yourself and do new things, you’ll have it rough some of the time. But if that’s your path, you can’t help it. It’s just the way you are. If you don’t honor your creativity, you’ll be depriving yourself and others. We all have creativity in us, it just needs to be brought out.

And that’s the way I am. I’ve never made much money or fame from music, but I love playing anyway. By breaking away from others’ expectations, I came to my own as a self-disciplined player who creates with little to no need for external validation.

Without a score to follow, without training wheels on, there seemed to be few limits to what I could come up with. There were virtually no wrong notes, no time constraints, and no one to disappoint but myself — because you can’t mess up a piece that hasn’t been written yet.

When you improvise, anything goes, and you adopt this partially as your approach to life. You just learn to go with whatever, and you become a more resilient person as result. You do practice repetition, but you also practice coming up with things on the spot — and you accept that when it comes down to the wire, you have no assurance of how everything will turn out.

Learning to thrive on this uncertainty is both a thrill and a comfort, because after all, that’s how life truly is. Things don’t play out like a perfectly rehearsed composition.

The more I improvised, I realized the application of this as a metaphor for life. You get better and better at anticipating uncertainties, to the point where you’re constantly creating and interacting with your environment, reaching increasing levels of fluidity and connection with your world and yourself.

. . .

Lessons I learned from playing the piano

• If you just stick with something you care about for long enough, it will eventually grow into the passion you’re craving. As you invest more and more of your time into any given pursuit, you will gradually merge with it. Hard work plus enjoying what you do will give you great results.
• Your creative work will manifest as a primal expression of who you are and can become one of your main forms of self-expression, and sources of confidence, and lead to a stronger feeling of living your truest and best life.
• Just because you don’t make a job out of something doesn’t mean you can’t love it and take it to the next level. You won’t have to compromise your vision. Even as an amateur musician, I feel I’ve still been able to enjoy music as much as any professional.
• Instruction from others can be of great help to get you started and keep you on your path, especially if feeling discouraged or distracted — but ultimately you may be your very own best teacher. Teachers are often only there as assistants; it’s you who has to direct your own destiny.
• Planning only gets you so far. Plan, but also have a well-developed skill to improvise. You’ll need both of these when it comes to handling everything life throws at you.
• Don’t rely on others for external validation. You’ll only be as happy as the perception of your last biggest success. The deepest artistic fulfillment comes from within.

. . .

A sample of my music

Thanks for reading my article. Here’s a video of me improvising on the piano:

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This post was previously published on Change Becomes You.

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