4 Things You Should Absolutely Never Ask Someone You Love

It’s not cute to be overly curious and inquisitive. Unless you’re a toddler.

There are so many things people say in life to remind us that asking too many questions might just lead us down a path we don’t like.

What you don’t know won’t hurt you.

Never ask questions you don’t want to know the answer to.

Mind your own business.

It isn’t always about you.

If only we listened.

Sometimes our little inquisitor gets the best of us. And when it does, it can leave terrible scars and a broken relationship in its wake.

What would happen if you allowed yourself to believe that some things aren’t your business at all? That some things, even if they are done to you, have absolutely nothing to do with you.

When you accusingly question someone you love, nothing good comes out of it. Both parties feel worse.

If you’re a glutton for punishment, question to your heart’s content.

Snoop around, criticize, ask things you already know the answer to, dig like your life depends on it until you find the dirt you’re looking for.

Then what?

Some would argue that at least you know the truth. Well, that may not only be overrated but often used as an excuse to snoop where you don’t really belong.

Sometimes, you’d do yourself a big favor to just let things be. It could save your relationship.

“Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles, it empties today of its strength.” –Corrie Ten Boom

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Here are a few questions that you may be better off not asking.

Do you even care?

People care, so this question is ridiculous. Again, whatever action prompted you to ask this question isn’t about you. Stay in that thought.

They care about you, they just also cared about other things at that moment.

Maybe it was selfish and even disrespectful, but at that moment in time, that was what they decided to do. With their own brain and their own thoughts.

If we’re to truly be tolerant people, that means always. Even when someone we love has a flawed thought or behavior. People’s judgment lapses, emotions get twisted, mistakes happen.

Don’t worry, your time is coming too. You’ll hope for the same tolerance and understanding when it’s your turn.
We’re all pretty deeply flawed.

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Are we just wasting our time?

No matter what is happening in this precious life we’ve been given, lessons will be learned. To say out loud that anything could be a waste of time is ludicrous.

We will get hurt. We will hurt others. We will take the wrong job, enter the wrong relationship, and invest time or money in the wrong business.

Nothing is a waste of time, so don’t ask the question. You know better. Even if you come out of a situation as a broken person who is hurt and in pain, you’ve become something else.

You’ve become stronger and capable of not only dealing with more but maybe even being able to help others.

Every little thing you go through changes you a little bit. But that’s not always bad.

Don’t ask if you’re wasting time. You’re getting an education and building a muscle you couldn’t have built any other way.

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Don’t you think you’re being selfish?

Of course. We’re all selfish in our own way when we want to be. This person you love may have tapped out their giving well and feel like they need to look inside and take care of themselves.

Maybe that didn’t manifest in a healthy way, but it also didn’t happen in a bubble. Every action is motivated by something, and we’re not always privy to what those things are.

Cut some slack and also realize that you too have been selfish and will likely be selfish again.

It’s a normal response even though we like to think it’s something only other people do.

Stop kidding yourself.

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Why would you do that?

Yikes. Who the hell knows. In those times when a bad, dumb, or uncharacteristic decision is made, the catalyst of the action isn’t always clear.

That’s why most of the time when you ask this question, you’ll get an unsatisfying, “I don’t know” and often, that’s the honest truth.

We don’t always know why we do what we do. That means you too.

All this question does is put you on a high horse, in judgment mode, making the person feel like they’re out of their mind.

You’ve probably done plenty of things that had they played out differently would’ve left you thinking, “why did I do that?” You just got lucky and skated by without any harm done.

You’ve stretched the truth, left out a detail or two, or made an excuse. You know you have. Just because it didn’t cause a storm doesn’t make you any less culpable for your actions.

Everyone does bad things, not everyone gets caught.

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“Storms make trees take deeper roots.” –Dolly Parton

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The thing to remember is that emotions and actions ebb and flow in this game of life. Each of us has times of crystal clear, perfectly aligned, stellar behaviors in life.

We’re proud and strong. Right on track.

Then, next thing you know, we’re looking at ourselves and thinking,

“Who are you?”

“Why are you doing this?”

“This isn’t a good idea”

Ebb and flow. The way each wave crashes on a shore is different because of things that happen far off the coast, actions in life can be the same.

A snapshot of any given moment can never tell the whole story.

So why isolate a bad moment in time and light it on fire, along with everyone in its wake?

Some waves just need to gently crash on the shore and be observed. Another one is right behind it, and it’s gonna be completely different.

Don’t dwell on rough waters. They will calm down eventually.

“I’m thankful for my struggle because without it I wouldn’t have stumbled across my strength.” –Alex Elle

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